The Waiting Game
by ijustkeepswimming
Summary: Charlie's world unravels as she and Ruby struggle, she's labelled prime suspect for Grant's murder and finds that Angelo has been lying to her. A CJ fic of course! Does contain some upsetting images/themes but nothing graphic or explicit.
1. Chapter 1

_Hi everybody! I will update the rest of my stories starting tomorrow but for now, here is the first chapter of my new one. It's going to be a fairly emotional journey but I hope you'll stay with it and 'enjoy' it, if that's the right word. There are the__mes (one in particular) that are upsetting but hopefully you'll still be happy to read. The story is set after Grant is murdered and Charlie is labelled the number one suspect. She has been given the photographs of Angelo from Robertson and Angelo has told her he can't explain himself. IJKS xxx_

**The Waiting Game**

**Chapter One**

Blood pumped round Joey Collins' body as she urgently selected the phone number from her mobile phonebook. She pressed send with no hesitation. She hung up when she reached the voicemail service. Flicking through her phonebook again, she called another number. It rang and rang and rang.

* * *

Ruby Buckton was tense. Every part of her body felt rigid as she waited. Morag, her step-mother, no, her step-grandmother had reluctantly gone to collect her husband from the city. He needed to be here now. She'd left Ruby in the care of Leah Patterson, Ruby's ex-housemate and friend. Leah had offered to call Ruby's boyfriend, Xavier Austin but she'd shaken her head. She didn't want him there. Glancing beside her, she looked at the quiet form of Geoff Campbell. He'd been with her when it happened. He'd been with her through all of this.

* * *

Georgie Watson stepped out into the lounge, taking a large gulp of air. The scene was worse than any crime scene she'd been called to before. The room had been filled with nothing but despair. It was suffocating. She could hardly bear it. Closing her eyes, Watson psyched herself up for round two. What was the point of being here anyway? A crime hadn't been committed. But it was one of those things a police officer was called to do and Robert Robertson, the suave new detective in town was convinced that there was more to the story. She jumped out of her skin when the phone rang beside her. Turning, she stared at the receiver as if it were an alien object. Robertson appeared in the doorway.

"Are you going to get that?" he asked.

* * *

Angelo Rosetta felt sick. He could barely concentrate on the road as he headed towards the hospital, terrified of what he would find there. How could she do this? Why would she do this? How could things have got so far that he hadn't even noticed? They'd been fighting but they fell out a lot. It was part of their passion. He knew she'd been going through a lot lately but this was too much. To think that he had played a role in such an event broke him. Forcing his tears away, Angelo sped up as much as the law would allow. He just hoped he wouldn't be too late.

* * *

Joey was startled when someone picked up the phone. Her heart leapt into her throat. She looked at the sleeping stranger beside her on the bus, exhausted only twenty minutes into their two hour journey. Leaning into the window and tearing her gaze away from the woman's drool forming at the corner of her mouth, she listened to the voice on the other end of the phone.

"Hello, this is the Patterson-Buckton residence," the voice said, sounding completely unsure of how to address the caller.

Joey didn't know what to say back. Her throat felt dry.

"Hello?" Watson repeated. "Is anybody there?"

"Who is this?" Joey asked.

"It's Constable Watson from Yabbie Creek Police Department."

All of Joey's fears came cascading down around her. She clutched the phone so tightly that her hand began to ache.

"What's happened to Charlie?" she asked.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Leah returned to the waiting room with coffees for herself, Ruby and Geoff. She'd asked Irene Roberts to collect VJ after school, explained the situation briefly but seriously and out of earshot of local gossip, Colleen Smart. Her friend and colleague had readily agreed and asked that Leah keep her informed as to what was going on. Leah had nodded and rushed out. The sound of Ruby's terrified voice was still screaming in her head. She looked at the teenager sitting so meekly beside her and couldn't fail to notice the way that she clutched Geoff's hand. These days, Ruby was living with Geoff, Irene and Geoff's sister Annie. At first Leah had thought it was a case of turning to her best friend, Annie but as the weeks were passing, it was becoming increasingly apparent that there was a close bond between her and Geoff. No wonder Xavier had been looking so down recently. Ruby hadn't wanted her to call him. All three of them looked up when the doors burst open. Angelo appeared in front of them, looking frantic. Ruby stayed still, keeping hold of Geoff. Leah stood up and waved him over.

"How is she?" he asked desperately.

"We still don't know anything," she replied.

* * *

Joey looked at her watch. She'd been travelling for an hour. There was one more hour to go and she would be back in Summer Bay. Her palms were sweating at the thought of what she would find there but it was something she had to do. The woman was still sleeping beside her. Every so often, her head fell forward a little too far, surprising her into sitting back up before the whole process started again. Joey had no plan, no place to stay, no idea what she was going to do when she got there but she knew she had to go. She'd kept trying to call Ruby and Leah but both their phones were off. Aden wasn't answering either. It was almost like she was going into a vortex, a world unknown. At least she had managed to speak to Watson. She'd brought terrible news of course but at least it was news instead of dead air.

* * *

Colleen eyed Irene curiously. All she wanted to know was why Leah had rushed out of there in such a hurry. She wasn't being nosy; she was being a concerned friend. She'd been asking questions ever since but Irene wasn't opening up. When Colleen had asked if it was about little VJ, Irene had said no. When she'd asked if there was some kind of development with Roman who was languishing in jail, she'd said no. When she'd wondered if Aden, who was suffering so terribly after the loss of Belle, she'd said no. Apparently, there were no problems with Rachel, Tony, Martha or Hugo either. Colleen looked suddenly triumphant.

"Is it Senior Constable Buckton?" she asked.

"Colleen, would you just stop asking questions and start serving customers?" Irene snapped, exasperated.

"It is, isn't it?" Colleen pressed. "She's been awfully stressed lately. What's the matter with her?"

Irene answered by handing her two plates for table seven.

"Or is it young Ruby?" Colleen wondered loudly.

"Is what Ruby?" Nicole Franklin asked.

She'd been waiting to be served and caught the tail end of the conversation.

"Something's happened to make Leah run out of here in a fluster and get childcare for VJ," Colleen explained on her way to serve table seven, which seated Miles and Kirsty.

"What's happened?" Nicole asked, worried for her friend.

"Well, I don't know, do I?" Colleen asked. "Nobody tells me anything!"

Nicole dug her mobile out and rang Ruby. It went straight to voicemail.

Angelo was pacing the corridor. His nerves were making him jittery and he couldn't settle. He hated the thought of Charlie being somewhere he couldn't reach her.

"Would you stop?" Ruby suddenly bellowed.

More than one person turned to look at them.

"Stop pacing," she said more quietly. "You're making me more scared than I already am."

"Sorry," he said.

He sat down and buried his face in his hands. His heart was pounding. Too many thoughts were racing around in his brain.

* * *

Morag stared at the road ahead of her. She refused to let herself cry. Part of her was furious with Charlie for being so selfish but a bigger part of her was devastated for her step-daughter's grief. They hadn't started off with the best relationship and they quite often rubbed each other up the wrong way but if Morag was being honest, she loved the girl. She'd seen such a vulnerable side to her since the truth about Ruby had spilled out and now, with everything concerning Grant and his murder, Morag felt deeply protective. She'd even gone as far as warning that awful Detective away from her, although that hadn't done anybody any good. She sighed heavily and guilt overwhelmed her, feeling certain that she could have and should have done more. If only she'd have seen this coming.

* * *

"Are you okay, Nic?" Miles Copeland asked, noticing the young blonde in his care looking fraught.

Sighing and putting her phone away, Nicole pulled up a chair. She looked at Miles and Kirsty. They had been taking care of her since her father had admitted crimes during his time serving in the SAS and he'd been put away. She missed him every day but Miles and Kirsty were doing a good job, even though at the moment they were clearly having problems.

"I don't know," she said. "Colleen said there was some kind of emergency and thinks it's something to do with Charlie or Ruby. I can't get in touch with Ruby and it's making me worry about her."

"Well, you've only got Colleen's word," Kirsty said, keeping her voice low but cheerful. "It's probably nothing."

Nicole nodded but she couldn't help fretting.

* * *

Ruby leant against Geoff's chest and let herself cry softly. There were so many images in her brain now that she didn't think she'd ever be able to get rid of. Picturing them made her cry harder. She appreciated the way Geoff held her close and stroked her hair. Aware that Angelo was watching her, she chose not to look at him. When would someone tell them something?

* * *

The minutes ticked by too slowly for Joey. She was half tempted to jump off the bus and run the rest of the way to Summer Bay. Everything in her soul was telling her to get to Charlie as quickly as possible. Sighing, she unzipped her bag. Right at the top of her belongings was a letter, the letter that had begun this whole thing. She pulled it out and read it for the seventh time.

* * *

Sid looked down at his patient. She was stable at least for now but it wasn't looking good. In a coma that she might never wake up from, he couldn't help but wonder what was so bad that Charlie Buckton had been so determined to take her own life.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks for all your feedback so far. I really appreciate it. I get so nervous posting new stories! Here's the next instalment. IJKS xxx_

**Chapter Three**

Irene felt torn. She watched Nicole fret with Miles and Kirsty as she wondered what was wrong. She didn't think it was something she should tell but the girl looked so frightened; she wanted to at least put her mind at rest that her friend was alright. Making sure that Colleen was busy, Irene approached the table.

"Nic," she ventured.

The blonde looked up at her with soulful eyes.

"Listen, I know you're worried but Ruby's alright."

"Do you know what happened?" Nicole asked.

"Charlie's just... um, well, she had an accident," Irene said diplomatically. "Ruby's gone with Geoff and Leah to the hospital. But Ruby's alright."

"What about Charlie?" Miles asked.

They weren't particularly close but he cared about her and he'd felt terrible since he'd found out everything from her past. When Melody, a girl in his charge had gone missing the year before, Charlie had travelled with him to Melbourne to track her down. Stuck in a hotel room together, each with their own issues to deal with, the two of them had shared a random and somewhat awkward, embarrassing kiss. It hadn't changed their friendship. He'd even teased her about it a couple of weeks ago.

"We don't know. She might not make it."

"That's awful!" Kirsty gasped.

Miles felt unwell. The idea that Charlie might not pull through whatever had happened to her was terrible.

"Listen, I just told you because I wanted to put your mind at rest about Ruby," Irene explained. "Don't spread it about. Leah said it was a secret, alright?"

The threesome nodded and Irene hurried away.

* * *

Sid finally braced himself to venture into the waiting room where Charlie's family and friends were waiting. Surely the fact that so many people cared should be reason enough not to do something like that? Four pairs of eyes locked on him as soon as he appeared. He watched them stand as he walked over, wondering where on earth to begin.

* * *

Joey finally stepped off the bus. Slinging her backpack on her back, she waited for the luggage compartment to open up so she could get the rest of her stuff. She leapt in before it had even opened the full way, prompting a few glares from other passengers, including the dribbler. Ignoring them, she grabbed her other two bags and hurried down the street.

* * *

Angelo's whole body was tense as he waited for Sid to tell them if Charlie was going to be alright. Sid took a breath, looking away from him and down at the daughter of his patient who looked frightened and tearful.

"What's happening?" Angelo finally asked.

"Charlie's in a coma," Sid explained.

More tears spilled down Ruby's cheeks. Geoff held her a little tighter and Leah reached for her hand.

"She took a lot of medication with a lot of alcohol. She also mixed her drugs so they've been busily reacting with each other. To be honest, I'm surprised she held it all down. A lot of patients in that kind of situation have already begun vomiting before they get to us. We've pumped her stomach but she wasn't found before the medication started to take effect so she's still in a critical condition. I wish I had better news but you may want to start preparing yourselves for the worst."

Ruby nearly lost her balance. Geoff and Leah were on hand to catch her and keep her upright.

"What do you mean by 'the worst'?" she asked shakily, wanting to make sure she wasn't jumping to unnecessarily terrible conclusions.

"There's no guarantee that Charlie will wake up," Sid said gravely. "She may have put her body through too much to save her, although obviously we'll be doing everything we can."

"What about all the blood?" Ruby asked. "Did you fix the blood?"

On top of the overdose, Charlie had made injuries to her body.

"She could easily have bled to do death," Sid admitted. "If she survives this, you would have saved her life by finding her. We've stitched up every wound. Now it's just a waiting game."

Angelo sat heavily down in his chair. He couldn't face this. He couldn't lose the girl he loved.

"We'll be transferring her to intensive care soon," Sid informed them.

"Can we see her?" Ruby asked.

"Quickly," he said. "And one at a time."

* * *

"So, is this suicide an admission of guilt, do you think, Constable?" Robertson asked.

They were nearly finished with the scene at Charlie's house. Watson turned to him, absolutely horrified.

"No!" she snapped, not caring for rank. "She didn't kill Grant. If anything, this is a statement of innocence. She couldn't cope with the way you were hounding her. You were destroying her life."

She stormed out of the house without waiting for him.

* * *

"I wonder what happened to her," Kirsty said thoughtfully.

She was grateful to be sitting with Miles civilly and Charlie's accident was enough to make them both feel grateful for what they had.

"I guess that's the perils of being a cop," Miles replied unhappily. "You get into trouble now and again."

"She'll be okay though, right?" Nicole wondered. "I mean, she's had accidents and stuff before and she's always been alright. She got hit by that car the other week and she only damaged her hip a little bit and then there was the time she nearly drowned. If the woman can get caught up in a storm drain and be spat out to sea and still be alright, she can pretty much survive anything, can't she?"

Everyone at the table hoped Nicole was correct. None of them noticed Colleen eavesdropping nearby.

* * *

Ruby anxiously entered the small hospital room. She felt sick when she saw Charlie looking so small and frail in the bed. Lying flat on her back with ashen skin and dark circles around her closed eyes, Ruby's mother was hooked up to several beeping machines. Ruby had no idea what any of them did, except that one appeared to be monitoring a slow heart rate and the other was helping her breathe. She looked down by the side of the bed, noting the catheter Charlie was also attached to and she winced in empathy. Trembling, the teenager approached the bed and took Charlie's hand. It was lifeless and cold, as if she were already dead. Ruby began to cry a little harder.

"Charlie," she said. "Charlie, please don't leave me. We can work everything out if you just hold on. Please?"

* * *

Joey approached the hospital, physically and emotionally exhausted. She regretted not booking herself a cab. Dragging her stuff all that way had been a nightmare but she couldn't remember any numbers off hand and she'd underestimated how far the hospital was. Still, she was here now. Standing outside the doors of the emergency department, she froze, too frightened to go in.

* * *

"It's terrible news, isn't it?" Colleen said.

"What's that?" Aden Jeffries asked.

He'd popped into the Diner for a coffee. It was good for him to fill his time with anything and everything. When he was home alone, all he did was think about Belle. He missed her more than he ever thought possible and time was making it worse, not better.

"About Senior Constable Buckton," Colleen explained. "And the accident she's had."

"Accident? What kind of accident?"

"I don't know exactly but she's in the hospital right now."

Aden immediately thought of Joey. He couldn't help it. Even though his friend was gone and Charlie had obviously moved on with Angelo, whenever something happened to Charlie, he thought of her ex-girlfriend. He'd felt bad for Charlie through all her recent troubles and he couldn't help but think she must have made the worst mistake ever by letting Joey go. He knew that Joey would have taken much better care of Charlie through all the disasters that had befallen her. Joey would have understood her and loved her. She would have kept her safe. He wondered yet again what Joey was doing now.

* * *

Ruby tearfully left Charlie's hospital room. Geoff was there for her to fall against.

"She looks so broken," she managed. "I was only talking to her last night and... How could she do this?"

"We're moving her in five minutes," Sid said, approaching the emotional group. "If any of you want to see her before she goes, you need to go now."

Angelo looked at Leah who nodded for him to go ahead. He got to his feet and entered the room where his unconscious girlfriend lay.

* * *

Ross looked up, surprised but happy to see his wife. He knew he'd done the right thing by putting himself in care but it was hard being away from his beloved and his girls. Whether Ruby was technically his granddaughter or not, he had raised her as his own and as far as he was concerned, he had two very precious daughters. His face fell when Morag's smile didn't meet her eyes.

"Morag, what's wrong?" he asked.

* * *

"Well, is she okay?" Martha asked, glancing at Hugo.

It was no secret that Martha Holden and Charlie hadn't been getting on well lately. Martha had been hurt when her friend had begun dating Angelo, the man who had shot her husband. Accident or no accident, Jack was still dead and he was never coming back. And he had lied. He had stood by her side and taken care of her. He'd allowed her to trust him when all along he was a killer. What she'd thought was compassion had only been guilt. Charlie dating him was not okay. Then when Ruby had found out the truth about her parentage, she'd asked to stay. Martha had agreed and she and Charlie had ended up in a terrible row in the middle of the Diner. With all of those things on top of the fact that Martha felt insecure over the fact that her new boyfriend, Hugo Austin had once had a one night stand with Charlie, things hadn't been right between them for weeks.

"We don't know," Colleen said sadly. "There hasn't been any news. We're waiting for Leah to call. That poor girl – as if she hasn't been through enough lately."

"Colleen!" Irene snapped.

The older woman spun round guiltily.

"What are you telling people?"

"Nothing."

"Colleen..."

"Just that Charlie's had an accident."

Irene closed her eyes. The last thing the poor girl needed was for people to ask questions.

"Well stop it," Irene snapped. "Whatever's happened to Charlie is a private matter. It's her business so would you just leave it alone?"

They both turned when the phone rang.

* * *

Angelo stood by Charlie's bed. He held her hand in much the same way as he supposed Ruby had done. He tuned into the sound of the beeping machines that let him know the woman of his dreams was still alive. Overwhelmed with guilt about the lies he had told and the way he had let her down, he tried to speak but no sound came out. He hated the thought that he might lose her, that she might die thinking he'd cheated on her and gone behind her back. He had lied but it had been out of necessity and he'd been about to risk his future by telling her the whole truth. He'd been psyching himself up to call her and arrange to meet. Even though it could wreck everything, Angelo loved her enough to share his whole story and hope that she would still love him and want to be with him. But she hadn't given him the chance. She'd charged ahead and made a stupid decision that she might never be able to take back. He tried to speak again but his voice caught in this throat. Instead, he bent and kissed her fingers. There were too many needles in the back of her hand to kiss her anywhere else. Placing her hand delicately back down, he hurried away.

* * *

"And it was definitely...?"

Irene trailed off, painfully aware that Colleen was listening intently.

"Yes," Leah sighed. "It was definitely suicide. She took a cocktail of pills with a bottle of vodka and she cut her wrists. She seemed pretty intent on this being it."

"The poor love," Irene said, squeezing her eyes shut. "How bad must you feel to...?"

She stopped, realising that she had already said too much.

"I know. I just wish I'd have realised. Maybe I could have..."

"Don't start blaming yourself, love," Irene said firmly.

"But I knew how lost she was over Ruby and Angelo and everything. I should have..."

"There are no 'should haves' in this, Leah," Irene told her. "How were you to know it'd got this far?"

She didn't care about Colleen anymore. She just wanted to comfort her friend.

"She's in a coma," Leah said. "They're taking her to intensive care. I'm going to stay for as long as Ruby needs me around. Are you still okay to take care of VJ?"

"Absolutely. Don't worry about a thing."

Hanging up the phone, she turned to her colleague.

"Don't breathe a word," she warned.

* * *

Joey finally entered the hospital. She was puzzled by her own hesitation. From the moment she'd realised that something was wrong, she'd rushed back to town at breakneck speed and yet once she was here, only metres away from Charlie, she'd barely been able to step through the doors. Forcing herself to keep her breathing regular, she approached the nurses' station.

"Can I help you?" the nurse, identified by her name badge as Julie, asked.

"I'm here to see Charlie Buckton," Joey said. "She was brought in earlier."

"Right, yes, um... well, they're about to move her. But her family are..."

"Joey?"

Joey spun round, coming face to face with Ruby. Both of them recognised the pale look of distress in each other. Leaving her bags by the desk, Joey approached. They fell into each other's arms and wept.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Martha and Hugo arrived home feeling numb. When Colleen had reappeared to take their order, having been distracted by Irene's phone call, she had been tearful and subdued. After some gentle probing about what was wrong, Colleen had burst out that Charlie had attempted to take her own life. Both of them were lost in their own thoughts. Martha was feeling increasingly guilty for getting into a row with her. They had once been such good friends. And while Hugo didn't know Charlie that well, they did have shared history. It was history he knew Charlie regretted, history that had cost her the woman she loved, but it was history all the same. Charlie was the only one night stand he'd ever felt guilty about. Afterwards, when the truth had come out, Ruby had charged over to him and accused him of taking advantage of her sister – her mother. To this day, he wondered if it was true. She had been upset. He'd been aware of it. When he'd found her, he knew she'd been crying and was overly emotional. But he hadn't been able to see past his own stress and sadness or through his own desire to have her as his own. He'd been into Charlie from the moment he arrived in the Bay and at the time he'd believed that they were two friends taking comfort in each other. But while it hadn't affected him at all, while he had been able to move on and eventually be with Martha, the woman he loved, Charlie had been forced to watch the woman _she_ loved, sail away from her. And still, through everything, she had been nice to him. She'd never blamed him for accidentally revealing their secret, the one that Joey had already worked out. And she'd defended him each time she knew Angelo had gone after him. Charlie was a good woman. She didn't deserve any of this pain.

"What's up with you two?" Xavier asked, breaking into the couple's thought. "You look like someone's died!"

He grinned and then blanched when they didn't smile back.

"Oh no. Who died?" he asked.

"Charlie..." Martha began.

"Charlie's dead?" Xavier exclaimed.

"No. But she's in a coma. She tried to um... she tried to kill herself."

Xavier grabbed his keys and hurried to the door. If Charlie was in a coma, Ruby would be at the hospital and surely his girlfriend would need him. He wondered why she hadn't called.

* * *

Angelo left Charlie and walked back into the waiting room, surprised to find Leah gone and a new arrival holding Ruby as Geoff sat quietly by. As he approached, the two tearful girls pulled away from each other.

"What are you doing here?" Ruby asked Joey gently.

"I needed to see her," Joey explained. "I had to know if she was alright."

"She..."

Ruby burst into tears at the mere thought of having to explain what Charlie had done.

"I know what happened," Joey said softly. "I called the house. Watson told me."

Ruby nodded and wiped her eyes. She looked up when Angelo reached them.

"Hey," he said. "They're taking her up now. They said we could go up and see her when she's settled."

He looked Joey up and down. She studied him back, figuring out who he was with very little difficulty.

"I'm Angelo," he said politely, extending his hand. "And you are?"

Ruby looked between them, dreading some kind of altercation. She hoped they would both realise that now wasn't the time to fight for Charlie.

"My name's Joey Collins," Joey replied, shaking his hand.

Angelo stopped his movement and dropped her hand. He stared at her, his mind reeling with jealous anxiety. What was Charlie's ex doing here? What did she want from her? Geoff watched everyone silently.

"Hey, guys, I brought more coffees," Leah said, approaching with feigned cheer.

She stopped when she saw Joey, breaking into a smile despite the situation.

"Joey!" she said.

Angelo stiffened at such a welcome. Obviously Joey Collins had been a popular girl. She'd stolen Charlie's heart, was close enough to Ruby to be allowed to comfort her and been greeted with warmth from Leah.

"Hi, Leah," Joey said, also smiling.

"When did you get here?"

"Just a few minutes ago. I came straight off the bus."

Suddenly she remembered her stuff, still stashed by the desk.

"But how did you know to come?" Leah wondered.

"Charlie wrote to me," Joey said softly.

She fingered the letter in her pocket and willed herself not to cry.

"She wrote to say goodbye."

* * *

Morag helped Ross get dressed and gather his belongings. It had broken her heart to tell him that his little girl had tried to end her life. He'd cried. She'd held him. Then, already knowing the answer, she'd asked him if he wanted her to take him to see her. He'd nodded and now they were preparing to go.

"How's Ruby?" he asked before they left his room.

"She's coping," Morag said, hoping it was true.

* * *

Angelo walked away from the group without another word. He was hurt and he was angry. Charlie had made the effort to say goodbye to her ex-girlfriend and not her current boyfriend. What did that say about him? About her? About them? Was she so angry about his deception that she hated him that much? Was she really willing to say the final goodbye to him with no words? Had she been in touch with this Joey girl the entire time? Was there more to this story than he knew? He thought they'd thrashed all this out when she'd had the car accident. Charlie had told him the story of her and Joey from start to finish. He admitted that he'd freaked at first and even now he couldn't help but worry that this side of her, the side that was attracted to women, would come up again. Losing her to another guy, losing her for some other reason would be painful enough but to lose her to a woman would be too much for him to take. He'd asked her then what would happen if Joey was to come back and now he supposed he'd find his answer – if Charlie ever woke up.

* * *

Irene sat at home with VJ and Annie.

"What's wrong with Charlie?" VJ asked.

"She's just a little unwell right now," Irene said. "But the doctors in the hospital are making her better."

"Will she come home tonight?"

"Not tonight, sweetheart."

"Will Mummy come home? Do I have to stay here?"

"Your Mum will be round to collect you in a little bit," Irene promised.

Annie observed their interaction. She hoped that everything would be alright. Ruby had been through enough without the one person she was supposed to be able to count on, letting her down. And she hoped for Charlie's sake that she would survive. Suicide was a sin. She liked Charlie. The police officer was a nice woman. She was kind and brave and Annie would never ever forget the fact that she had saved her life. But she worried that she wouldn't get to Heaven. She was in a relationship with a killer, she'd dabbled with homosexuality, she'd been caught up in a murder investigation and now she'd tried to take her own life.

* * *

Ruby, Joey, Geoff and Leah turned their attention to Sid as he escorted a hospital trolley towards the elevator.

"Charlie!" Ruby said, rushing forward.

The others followed. Joey caught the briefest glimpse of her beloved, unconscious on the bed before she disappeared behind the lift doors. Ruby turned back and let Geoff hold her. Joey continued to stare.

"Someone will let you know what's happening soon," Sid said. "Sit tight."

Leah nodded and guided everyone back to their seats.

* * *

Aden sat on the couch with a beer and a lost mind. He'd arrived home and recovered his phone, surprised to find a missed call from Joey. He was disappointed not to have been able to catch her and her phone had been off or out of signal when he'd tried to call her back. Sitting back on the sofa, he puzzled over the coincidence of Charlie having some kind of accident on the same day as Joey trying to get in touch. Still, he supposed all would become clear soon.

Xavier entered the hospital a little out of breath. He stopped when she saw Leah, Joey, Ruby and Geoff sitting in a solemn line. And Geoff had his arms around Ruby. Turning back around, Xavier fled.

It was an awkward, difficult drive back to Summer Bay. Neither Ross nor Morag wanted to listen to the radio. It didn't seem appropriate somehow. And neither could find anything to say to each other. So they sat in silence. Ross stared out of the window. Morag concentrated on the road.

* * *

"She left me a letter too," Ruby said to Joey. "I found it when I... when I found her."

Joey closed her eyes. She could hardly imagine how awful it must have been to be the one who found her.

"I haven't read it yet," Ruby admitted. "I just broke down when I saw her lying there. It was like the whole world slowed down. I didn't know what to do. I panicked and I shook her. I kept screaming her name but she wouldn't... couldn't respond. Then I called an ambulance. Then I called Geoff."

Joey smiled briefly at the blonde boy. Obviously a lot had changed since she'd been gone. When she'd left, Ruby had been completely infatuated with Xavier and now he was nowhere to be seen. She wondered when Geoff had come on the scene. Again, when she'd left, he'd been seeing Nicole.

"She was only just breathing," Ruby continued. "At first I thought she'd gone but there was still some life in her. I didn't know what to do so I just held her hand and waited. I kept kissing her forehead and saying her name over and over like it was going to change something. That's how Geoff and the paramedics found us."

Ruby wiped her eyes as she recounted the trauma of the day.

"Geoff guided me out of the way so that they could work on her. I saw the letter beside her so I grabbed it and shoved it in my pocket."

She pulled it out, studying Charlie's neat handwriting.

"They brought her here. Geoff called Leah and Morag for me and we've been here ever since, just waiting."

"Are Morag and your Dad coming?" Joey asked.

Ruby nodded.

"Morag's gone to pick Ross up from the care home now," she said.

Joey declined comment on the name usage. Now wasn't the time.

"So, Charlie posted you a letter?" Ruby asked, turning her own envelope over in her hands repeatedly.

Joey pulled her letter out of her pocket. She'd moved her bags so that they rested somewhat awkwardly underneath their chairs, out of the way. She showed the envelope to Ruby.

"It arrived this morning," Joey explained. "I have a little mailbox on land. My company pays for it. I don't get much but I pop in whenever I'm not on the water and check it. I made friends with the guy who runs the office. We went out for a drink a few times and I mentioned Charlie to him. When he saw the return name and address, he called the boat to let me know it was there. It stunned me and I considered never going to collect it but I just had this nagging feeling in my mind that I should. I was due back off the boat in a couple of days but the nagging feeling got louder and louder. Before I'd really thought it through, I convinced the skipper to let me take a lifeboat and come to shore. I packed my stuff and left; headed to the mail room before I went anywhere else."

She took a deep breath.

"Charlie made her intentions pretty clear in her letter. As soon as I realised, I called her but her phone was off. Then I called the house but nobody answered. I kept calling all the while I ran to the bus station and booked myself on the next bus to Summer Bay. I phoned you and Leah but I guess by that time you were here and shut your phones off."

Both women nodded.

"Finally I got through to the house and Watson told me what happened. As soon as I got off the bus I came here."

"She'll be happy to see you when she wakes up. She misses you," Ruby said softly but certainly.

* * *

Watson stood at reception. She worried about Charlie. Looking around her, she realised that nearly everyone else was too. Senior Constable Buckton was a good boss and a good person. Watson had been horrified when Robertson had suspended her. Charlie may not always make the right decisions – Angelo Rosetta being a specific one – but she was a good person and a good friend. There was no way that she was capable of murdering anyone, not even the man who had raped her. She wouldn't do that. It wasn't in her nature and quite frankly, it didn't make any sense. With her history with the deceased, she would obviously be a suspect. Why would she wreck her life further and let him destroy her from beyond the grave? She wouldn't. Well, she supposed she might have done now. But not that way, not the way Robertson was accusing her of. Charlie wasn't capable of murder. Watson knew it.

* * *

Angelo gathered himself together and headed back inside. He watched Joey and Ruby talking to each other. Geoff still had his arm around Ruby and Leah was holding Joey's hand. Heading over to them, he cleared his throat.

"They've taken her upstairs," Leah said.

Angelo nodded. He chose not to look at Joey.

"Xavier was here," he told Ruby.

She sat up straighter, looking alarmed.

"He ran out pretty quick."

Ruby sighed, realising that he would have seen her with Geoff and got the wrong or possibly the right idea. She shook her head. She didn't have the energy to deal with him now. She had to be there for Charlie.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Silently, the group of five headed toward the intensive care unit. Charlie had been put in a side room. Angelo requested to see her first. He didn't particularly want to push in front of Ruby but he did want to keep Joey as far away from his girlfriend as possible. Tired, Ruby nodded and permitted him to go ahead. She sank onto the chairs, which were thankfully a little more comfortable up here. Geoff sat beside her. He'd barely spoken the whole time they'd been there. Nothing in his head seemed like quite the right thing to say. All he wanted was to take care of the girl he was surprisingly but swiftly falling for. Joey sat on Ruby's other side, grateful that Leah had taken her bags and put them in the car. Leah dropped down beside her.

"Morag should be back soon," Ruby said.

"Yeah," Geoff replied softly. "Not too long now."

* * *

Angelo pulled up a chair beside Charlie's unconscious form. She was tucked underneath a thin blanket, still hooked up to too many machines. She had needles protruding from her arms and hands and her chest moved reluctantly up and down as she breathed, aided by yet another machine. He gazed at her face and began to cry softly.

"Where was my note, Charlie?" he asked.

* * *

Ross and Morag pulled into the car park, grateful to find a parking space without too much difficulty. They sat for a few moments staring ahead of them.

"Are you ready?" Morag asked.

* * *

Angelo left Charlie after less time than everyone expected. Ruby looked to Joey, silently asking if she wanted to see her next.

"You go," Joey said. "It's more important that you see her."

Ruby thanked her and headed towards the closed door. Angelo sat down, taking Ruby's place. Sensing the tension, Geoff excused himself to the bathroom and Leah stood to speak to one of the nurses. If Charlie was going to be here for while, she supposed they were going to have to get used to this place. It felt like a good idea to know procedures.

* * *

Ruby took her place on the chair beside the bed. She couldn't help but weep at the sight of her sister, her mother, her guardian, her friend. Suddenly whether Charlie had given birth to her or not didn't matter anymore. Suddenly the fact that they'd grown up as sisters instead of the way they should have, felt irrelevant. All Ruby wanted now was for Charlie to wake up. Then she could tell her that she forgave her and they could move on. She feared what Charlie had been thinking about her before she'd made such a terrible choice. It made her fear what was in her letter. Did Charlie think Ruby hated her? Did she think Ruby wanted her out of her life? It wasn't true. Sure, some things had been said, hurtful, hateful things, but Ruby had never imagined that they weren't things she couldn't take back when she was ready. And she was ready now. It wasn't going to be easy. She knew that. But she wanted to try. If only Charlie would wake up, she wanted to try.

* * *

"I guess you know I know who you are," Angelo said, looking straight ahead.

"Yeah," Joey replied, also looking at some invisible point in front of them.

"Are you here to... to get her back?"

She sensed the worry in his voice and pondered the question. Was she here to win Charlie back? Was she here to declare her undying love? Why had she come all this way?

"I just needed to make sure she was safe," Joey told him.

He looked at her. She was pretty; beautiful even. Charlie certainly did have good taste in women. Probably around Charlie's height, although it was hard to tell sitting down and without a comparison; Joey had long dark hair tied into a loose ponytail. Her eyes were brown and her skin was clear. She was dressed in green cargo shorts and a black t-shirt, showing off nice legs and a good figure without being too obvious about it. She was definitely attractive. And it was nice of her to have made the effort to come all this way when she'd heard Charlie was in trouble. Obviously she still liked her. The question was: how did Charlie feel?

"Are you sticking around?" he asked.

Aware that Angelo was observing her, Joey turned to study him in return. He was tall and looked like he was probably made of pure muscle underneath his uniform. He had a handsome face and short hair. She imagined him to have a cheeky grin but obviously it wasn't a situation for any of them to smile in. She supposed he was a good looking guy, if you liked that kind of thing. She looked down at her hands, feeling a stab of sadness that Charlie liked that kind of thing.

"She's not safe yet," she said, looking back up at him. "I can't go until I've done what I came to do."

Angelo nodded. He supposed that he couldn't begrudge her worrying about Charlie. It wasn't as if it was easy to stop yourself having feelings for the woman. She was enchanting. He remembered the first time he'd met Charlie. He never thought he'd ever stand a chance with her, although that hadn't stopped him trying. He'd been making passes at her pretty much from their first conversation. She'd rebuffed him of course. Her head and heart were all full of Roman, her boyfriend at the time. But things hadn't worked out for them. Charlie had been devastated and Angelo had been going through his own issues at the time. His one time girlfriend Belle, had got them both caught up in the development business – the biggest mistake of his life – and during an altercation, after they'd split up and everything had begun to spiral out of control, he and Charlie had taken comfort in each other. At first it had been a one night stand. But it had become more and he'd been happy. But then his life had gone to hell and they'd broken up. She'd gone on to live her life while he'd been dragged through a murder charge. And living her life had involved falling for Joey.

"Do you have a place to stay?"

"I haven't thought about it yet. I'll figure it out. At worst, I can stay with my brother."

"Oh, him," Angelo commented before he'd thought it through.

He began to apologise.

"Don't worry, I don't like him either," Joey told him. "But needs must."

* * *

Nicole had visited Aden. She felt sad about Charlie and worried about Ruby. Knowing how vulnerable her best friend was, she'd gone round to see him and take him out to the Surf Club for a quiet game of pool. Neither was in a particularly good mood but they felt better doing something at least. The important thing, they'd found, was to always keep doing something. That way neither of them spent too long thinking about what they had lost.

* * *

Ruby approached Joey and Angelo, relieved that there was no bloodshed. She was just wondering where Geoff and Leah had got to when both of them appeared from round the corner. Everyone sat down again.

"They said that visiting hours each day are between ten and twelve and then two and six," Leah said. "They're just being nice to us tonight because she's only just come in."

Ruby nodded, although she felt sad that she wouldn't be able to visit Charlie any later than six. On school days it meant that really she would get precious little time with her. She closed her eyes. No, she couldn't bear to consider how long Charlie might be there.

"Joey, you can go in if you want," she said.

Joey glanced at Angelo and then stood. She was just about to head towards Charlie's room when two more people entered the room. Despite everything they had been through, Ruby flung herself into Ross's arms. He held her tight.

"Where is she?" Ross asked.

His eyes were red and puffy from crying.

Leah pointed to the door at the end of the corridor. Ross and Morag clasped hands and headed towards it. Joey sat back down. Leah squeezed her hand. Angelo tried not to look pleased. He didn't want to be unkind but the selfish, jealous part of him couldn't bear for Joey to go anywhere near his girlfriend.

* * *

Nicole stopped very still, clutching her pool cue. She hadn't meant to listen to Martha and Hugo's conversation but several words had caught her attention. She spun round.

"Did you say suicide?" she asked sharply.

Martha and Hugo looked awkward. Aden stepped up behind his friend.

"Um..."

"Charlie tried to kill herself?" Nicole pushed.

"That's what we heard," Martha said quietly.

Nicole turned to Aden who looked stricken with conflicting emotions.

"Who tried to commit suicide?" Tony asked, stopping short.

He had been just about to head home.

"Charlie," Hugo said.

"I'm going home," Aden told Nicole before turning on his heel.

She hurried after him. Tony sat down with his daughter in law and nephew to find out what had happened.

* * *

When Morag and Ross left Charlie's bedside, they were still emotional but seemed a little calmer. Both their eyes settled on the stranger amongst them. Joey visibly shrank.

"This is Joey," Ruby said helpfully.

Joey stood up and shook hands with both of them.

"I'm a friend of Charlie's," she explained.

There was no need to go into details now. Morag raised an eyebrow as if she knew something. Joey looked worried but Morag didn't speak up. A nurse approached.

"Hi," she said. "Sorry to interrupt but um... it's getting late. You're all going to need to go home fairly immediately. You can come back in the morning."

"Okay," Ross said.

He felt sad. He didn't want to leave his daughter here all alone in this place. Angelo stood up, ready to go home. The day had been too much for him.

"Wait," Ruby said. "Joey hasn't seen Charlie yet. She needs to. It's not fair otherwise."

"She can see her in the morning, sweetheart," Ross said kindly.

"But..."

"It's okay," Joey said softly.

"Please?" Ruby said to the nurse. "She came a long way."

"Five minutes," the nurse said. "And then you really have to go. I'm sorry."

Joey squeezed Ruby's hand and headed in Charlie's direction. Angelo slipped away undetected.

* * *

"I think a lot of Charlie and I feel bad for her for whatever she's going through but all I can think about is how selfish she is," Aden admitted.

He and Nicole were seated side by side on the couch at Aden's house.

"Belle had no choice and she... she died. She lay there in my arms and she died, Nicole. She was meant to have her whole life ahead of her. We'd just got married. We were meant to be thinking about love and sex and a family and instead we were talking about funerals. That's not fair! She died and she wasn't ready and Charlie... she's lying in a hospital bed, hurting her family and it was her own damn choice! How could she do that?"

Nicole gathered her friend into her arms and held him tight.

"Sometimes the pain of living is too much," she said gently.

* * *

Joey stood beside Charlie. Of all the times she had imagined seeing her beautiful face again, this hadn't been how she'd expected it to be. And she was still beautiful. Even all those pills, that bottle of vodka, the razor blade, the brink of death... nothing could even come close to stopping her beauty from shining through. Leaning a little closer, Joey ran a tender hand through Charlie's soft brown hair. She smiled, thinking back to how she'd loved stroking Charlie's hair when they were an item. She wished now that she could see her eyes. She could still remember the blue so clearly. Charlie's face was almost grey, as if all the life had been drained out of it. But it hadn't. She was still there. She may have got lost in a place deep inside herself but somewhere, Charlie was still there. Her heart was still beating and her lungs were still functioning. As long as her body was alive, her soul and her mind could come back. She bent and placed a gentle kiss on Charlie's forehead, closing her own eyes. Despite all Charlie had been through that day, there was still the faint scent of her perfume on her skin. It brought back an overwhelming rush of memories. Moving away from her, Joey sank into a chair and held her hand, careful not to disturb any needles or tubes. She stroked her fingers gently.

"Charlie, I don't know if you can hear me," she began. "But I want you to know that I'm here and I love you. I'm sorry that I left you with silence. It was wrong of me. I guess I wasn't thinking about you and how you might feel. I was only thinking of myself. I had no idea that so much was going on in your life, how much you were suffering. And I'm so sorry that it got this far, that nobody was able to save you."

She stopped, caught up in her own tears. She used her free hand to wipe them away but gave up when they kept coming.

"I wish I could have saved you, Charlie; the way you saved me. If only... if only you'd written to me sooner. I could have come back. I could have helped somehow. I _would_ have helped. No matter what happened between us, how things ended, I would have come if you needed me. But I didn't know. I only found out what you were going through when it was too late. But then I guess you planned it that way, didn't you? You didn't want to be saved."

Joey wiped her eyes again as she cried a little harder.

"But you've got no choice in this one, Charlie. You have to get better. There are people out there that love you so much, that need you – your Dad, Ruby, Morag... Angelo. And Geoff and Leah have been waiting around all day. And me, Charlie. I need you. I love you. This can't be the end, not now."

Joey stood, wanting to look at Charlie again, lifting her hand. She cast a brief but painful glance at her bandaged wrists and then focussed on her almost peaceful face.

"I'm going to be here with them every day," she promised. "I'll wait for you to wake up. Don't make me wait forever, Charlie. Don't let go."

She kissed Charlie's forehead again and laid her hand down upon the bed sheets. Using her thumb, she brushed her own tears from Charlie's face.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said, turning to the door.


	6. Chapter 6

_Thank you to everyone reading and reviewing this story. You rock! I know it's quite dark but I hope you're all enjoying it. IJKS xxx_

**Chapter Six**

The bed felt huge and empty without Charlie. Although they didn't spend every night together, and really they only stayed at each other's houses three or four times a week, knowing that Charlie was lying in a hospital bed made her absence from Angelo's apartment all the more apparent. He tried to recall their last conversation. It hadn't been a good one. Robertson, in a clever bid to turn them against each other, had shown Charlie some photos of Angelo outside a strip club in the city. Out of uniform, talking somewhat intimately with a group of attractive women looked fairly conclusive. But that's not what it had been. He would never cheat on Charlie. He had loved her from the moment he'd met her. And while he'd lost count of the amount of times they'd broken up and got back together, this fight had been different. He'd admitted that he'd been lying but sworn that it was nothing to do with him being unfaithful. He was caught up in a secret mission, something he wasn't allowed to reveal and something that he wasn't allowed to give up. If he didn't do what he needed to do, then his reprieve from Jack's death would be revoked and he'd be back to square one. He would be facing a murder charge again, be stripped of his position and treated like a leper. He would lose everything. He sighed and leant across to the bedside table to take a sip of water. It looked now like he was going to lose everything anyway. If he didn't tell Charlie the truth, she would leave him. Maybe if he did, then she would anyway. And that would only be if she woke up. While he hadn't said anything out loud, looking at her, he hated to admit it but he worried that she wouldn't recover from this. Charlie had put her body through so much and there was only so much it could take. If she didn't pull through, what would he do then? How would he cope knowing that he had hurt her? And if, by some miracle, Charlie did recover, what would Joey's presence mean? It was a question he'd feared the answer to several times. _What happens when Joey comes back? _Angelo had asked that very question last time Charlie had been lying in a hospital bed. Now she was back. And she was back because Charlie had written to her to say goodbye. He felt jealous and threatened. Closing his eyes, he sank back against the pillows and attempted sleep.

Martha lay against Hugo's chest. She listened to him breathe as he slept. Her mind was full of thoughts of losing the people you loved most in the world. She worried about Ruby and how she would cope if Charlie didn't survive. The only person she couldn't feel sorry for was Angelo. And while she wanted Charlie to live, a small vindictive part of her hoped that the man who had shot her husband was lying awake afraid and distressed at the thought of losing the person he loved. They'd called peace and she'd tried to let it go. She'd even allowed herself to begin to move on with Hugo, who reminded her so much of Jack in a lot of ways. But she'd never forgive Angelo for what he did and she couldn't help but think that the more he suffered, the better.

Aden lay on the couch. He still hadn't quite managed to sleep in the bed he and his late wife had shared. It was too difficult up there without her. Everything was too difficult without her. Another stab of anger hit him. Why didn't Charlie realise that whatever she was going through, death wasn't the answer? Death didn't make it better. It just multiplied suffering by a million.

Alf felt sad as he watched mindless television. It was past his bedtime but he wasn't yet tired. Charlie's news had eventually filtered to him through Miles and Kirsty. He felt sorry for her. She had always been a nice girl. She looked after their community and kept people safe. Why had nobody been there to keep her safe when she needed them most?

Lying in bed, Colleen felt a little guilty for sharing the truth about Senior Constable Buckton with her customers. She'd just been so shocked that a woman of such standing had done such a thing. It was young Ruby she felt most sorry for. And her poor father – as if he didn't have enough to deal with.

* * *

Ross and Morag sat in their bedroom in the house that had once been occupied by Roman and Nicole. Now that Ross was in permanent respite care and Aden was suffering so terribly with the loss of Belle, Morag had moved in with him to help keep him on the right track. She hoped she was doing her best for him. But then, she had hoped she was doing her best for Charlie too.

"You didn't have any inkling that anything like this was going to happen, did you?" Ross asked.

Morag closed her eyes. Her husband's voice lacked any hint of accusation. She supposed he was just trying to find any kind of answer.

"No," she said. "Part of me feels like I should have known but I didn't."

The biggest clue had been something she'd missed and she hadn't stopped beating herself up about it all day. Charlie had approached her at with a new will. With Leah as a witness, Charlie had laid out all her wishes, should the inevitable happen. Although Morag was retired, she would always help with anything legal when it came to family. She'd just assumed that Grant's sudden death, his murder, had shaken her up enough to take stock of her life. She'd thought Charlie had wanted to put things in place for the future, not for now. But Ross wasn't ready to hear that yet. She didn't want him to become distressed before he was meant to sleep. The situation was upsetting enough without that nugget of information. It could wait.

"I suppose if someone wants to do that kind of thing then they'll do it without anyone knowing," Ross mused. "If they're serious. And she was serious, wasn't she? It wasn't a cry for help. My darling girl wanted to die."

* * *

Annie slept heavily. She'd forced herself to take a step back from the situation, although it had been hard when Ruby, Geoff, Leah and surprisingly, Joey had stepped through the door. Leah had come to collect VJ and Joey was going home with her. Ruby had broken down in Irene's arms. Annie had watched tearfully at seeing her friend so lost. It had been an early night for everyone in the house.

Not so far away, Jai had picked up on the tense atmosphere and asked what was wrong. Miles had tactfully explained that Charlie was in a coma after taking an overdose. He'd wanted to rush right round to see Ruby. She'd always been such a good friend to him. But he rationalised that flocking to her wouldn't help. Bedding down, he decided to call her in the morning.

Across the hall, Nicole couldn't sleep. All she could think about was Ruby and Aden. When did life get so complicated? She almost wished for the days when she didn't care about anyone or anything. Back then, she and Charlie had hated each other. Charlie had been dating Roman and girlfriend and daughter had refused to see eye to eye. But over time, particularly after they'd split up and Nicole had begun to mellow generally, she had begun to see Charlie in a different light. Besides, if she could create a life like Ruby's then she must be good. Ruby was awesome and Nicole loved her. She really hoped she was okay.

Leah resisted looking in on Joey again before she went to bed. Having read Charlie's letter, one that she was guarding with her life, Joey had jumped on the bus immediately without considering finding a place to stay. It hadn't crossed Leah's mind not to invite her. With Ruby living with Irene now, her room was going spare. And without Charlie around, Leah knew it would feel terribly empty to come home alone with VJ. Her son had been thrilled with the reappearance of Charlie's ex-girlfriend and Joey had seemed just as elated to see him. The pair had bonded instantaneously when Joey had first moved in. Joey had taught him card games, let him beat her at videos games and spent hours chilling with DVD's she had no interest in, just to keep him entertained. She had always been on hand for baby-sitting duties and she took great care of him. It had taken a long while to get him to bed tonight. He was thrilled with Joey being back and full of questions about where she had been how long she would be home for. She said that she'd been living on a big boat, sailing on the water and that she would be around for a little while. He'd asked then if she was back because Charlie was sick. She'd looked sad and said yes, that she was here because she wanted Charlie to get better. He'd announced that he was sure Charlie would feel better soon. Then Leah had taken him upstairs and sleep negotiations had begun. Now, Leah was exhausted.

* * *

Harry began to cry. Rachel awoke immediately. For a change she wasn't feeling quite as stressed as she had been all day. She slipped out of bed and went to him, picking him up and holding him close. Rocking him gently, she kissed her baby son's forehead.

"Don't you ever break my heart," she whispered, thinking of Ross.

Already suffering with Alzheimer's, the man who had once been a big, brave Detective felt lost, weak and alone. And on top of watching his own mind dwindle day by day, he was facing the prospect of losing his child.

* * *

Irene tossed and turned. She just couldn't sleep. Nothing she did erased Charlie from her mind. It was strange because she hardly knew her, not really. Of course they saw each other nearly every day. Charlie's constant need for caffeine meant that she never strayed too far from the Diner. But without knowing her too intimately, Irene liked her. She knew that Charlie had worked tirelessly to find her innocent when she'd been charged with Lou's murder. She might not have taken the glory, she might not have been in charge of the case but Irene was aware that Charlie had done a lot of work to protect her. And she'd been the one to free her, at least temporarily, at the first opportunity she could. Irene wished she could remember whether she'd ever thanked the police officer properly, if Charlie had known how grateful she was for her efforts. Another wave of sadness hit her. Of course she had heard the stories. Raped as a young teenager, conceiving a child, somehow or other living with the baby as if she were her sister, living with lies and secrets. But whether Charlie had referred to herself as mother or sibling, her love for Ruby had always been parental. She'd always protected her and taken care of her. Irene had always admired the bond between them. It felt like the least she could do to take Ruby in when she had nowhere to go, although she hoped that one day the girl would return home to her family. Perhaps if Charlie pulled through, Ruby would do that. She sighed. How bereft must you be to want to end your life? How much pain must you have to carry? She could only liken it to her alcohol addiction. While she hadn't been suicidal, drinking herself into oblivion had taken her away to a far off place where she didn't have to think anymore. She didn't have to deal with the suffering life threw at her. She supposed that Charlie had been doing the same thing. But Charlie hadn't wanted to sober up in the morning. She hadn't wanted to come back.

Watson had expected to fall right into bed when she got home but so far, sleep had evaded her. She was almost too tired to sleep. Still she couldn't get the image of Charlie lying there out of her head. She'd only seen her briefly. The paramedics had been ready to stretcher her into the ambulance and get to her hospital. But she'd seen her. Charlie had been dressed in dark jeans and a black bra. Watson supposed she had been in a t-shirt but it had been removed in order to treat a gash over her heart. She'd had incisions across her wrists and the neatly made bed was stained with blood. The bedroom had been eerily immaculate aside from empty and nearly empty packets of pills on the bedside table and a bottle of vodka, which had been spilled all over the floor. Watson and her current shift partner had worked the scene with heavy hearts. They'd found her mobile turned off and tucked away neatly in a drawer. They'd found the discarded t-shirt at the end of the bed. It had been awful to root around in Charlie's room, to have seen her half undressed and still. Charlie was the kind of cop that Watson aspired to be. She admired her. She liked her. It was unnerving to see a woman as strong as she was, falling with no ability to save herself.

Robertson was still at work. It was late and his shift was over but he was busily mulling over the day's events. The suicide attempt of his number one suspect was curious. It was an unexpected twist in the tale. Had her guilt over Grant's murder overwhelmed her and caused her to take drastic action? Did it make sense that she'd committed the murder? He'd been through her file. She was a good cop with only one blemish on her record that had been thrown out. Someone had accused her of taking advantage of a victim, engaging in a relationship with her, manipulating her. She'd been thoroughly investigated by all accounts and it appeared that the person who made the complaint had simply been a man with a grudge. It had been thrown out. No case to answer. Until now, Charlie had been the perfect officer: daughter of a Detective, top of every class during training, rising up in the ranks quickly and easily, liked and respected amongst her colleagues, supported throughout the town. Would she throw it away for revenge? And would she do it knowing she'd get caught? She was a smart woman. It didn't seem like the logical thing to do. While Robertson had kept her at the top of his list and not lifted her suspension – he couldn't until he'd removed her as a suspect completely – his mind was now toying with the idea of Angelo. He'd killed before. Why couldn't he do it again? And wouldn't he be a hero if he'd done it in the name of the woman he loved? That was why he'd manipulated Charlie. If Angelo had done it, Charlie must have known about it. If he could turn the couple against each other, surely one would rat the other out? But now of course, one of them wouldn't be talking. She was dying on a hospital bed while her loved ones pretended she would pull through. He felt a little sad for her. The scene hadn't been a pleasant one. But his concern always had to be the case in hand. Why had she wanted to kill herself? Was she driven by guilt or innocence? Was it just this situation alone that had driven her to it or did Senior Constable Buckton have a life of untold pain that he was only beginning to uncover?

Joey curled up in the foetal position in Ruby's bed. She'd never slept in this room before. Even when she and Charlie had only been friends, Charlie had slept in Ruby's room and Joey had stayed in Charlie's bed. Then, when they'd got together, however briefly, they'd shared Charlie's room together. Now Charlie's room was empty. When Leah had taken VJ up to bed, Joey had taken a big breath and cracked open the door of the bedroom she knew so well. It was immaculate like it always was, except for a wet patch on the floor and blood stains on the bed. She wondered what Ruby had found today. She wondered what the police had taken and why. Suicide wasn't a crime. But then, she'd seen on _CSI: Crime Scene Investigation _that cops had to check out every unnatural death. _It's not a death_, she reminded herself sternly. _She's going to be okay._ It had been difficult to see Charlie tonight and waiting around had been even harder. Angelo quite clearly didn't want her there and only Leah and Ruby truly understood what Charlie and Joey had meant to each other. Sometimes Joey didn't even know what she and Charlie meant to each other. But she was here and she was staying. She loved Charlie and Charlie loved her enough to write and say goodbye. That meant something. They could work everything else out later, when Charlie was awake and ready to face the world again. Joey wanted to face the world with her if she was allowed. She didn't know if she would be. Certainly she wouldn't be if Angelo had anything to do with it. Joey tried not to feel smug that Charlie had written to her and not to him. She chastised herself for it, telling herself that now wasn't the time for such feelings. Right now, whether she and Angelo would eventually battle to be the love of Charlie's life or not, they should all draw together as a team to help her recover. She put her ex-girlfriend's letter carefully beneath her pillow and then curled up again, hoping that sleep would come. She needed to be well for Charlie in the morning.

* * *

"Miles, I know it's sad but we hardly knew her," Kirsty complained.

Her boyfriend was fidgeting, stressing over the news they'd heard and it was keeping her awake.

"Know her, Kirsty," the curly haired teacher corrected. "She's not dead."

He forced himself not to add a 'yet' to his sentence.

"And I did know her," he said. "She was my friend."

"There's nothing we can do right now," Kirsty said more softly. "Let's just go to sleep and go and see her in the morning."

She closed her eyes. Miles forced himself to settle.

* * *

Geoff got out of bed and walked, wearing just a pair of pyjama bottoms, towards the kitchen. He needed some water. Running the faucet, he let it go for some time before he pushed his glass beneath it. He gulped the water down quickly. It had been difficult at the hospital. Tensions had been running high, especially once Joey had thrown herself into the mix and upset Angelo. Geoff hadn't seen Charlie hooked up to all the machines but he'd been there for a brief moment before the paramedics arrived to save her life. She'd looked so vulnerable lying there and Ruby's tears and fears had broken his heart. He hadn't been able to stop holding her for the rest of the day and he was pleased that she'd been able to turn to him. It was strange. They'd never been that close before but when Ruby had found out about her conception, they'd bonded. Geoff had had so much of his own grief swirling around in his head that he'd jumped at the chance to run away with her and together they'd embarked on their own journey. Now, Ruby meant the world to him and he didn't know what to do about it. Leaving his glass in the sink, he headed back to bed, pausing ever so briefly near Ruby's door, wondering if she was asleep.

Deep in dreams, Xavier fretted. Ruby didn't love him anymore. She wanted to be with Geoff. When Charlie had taken her own life, or at least so far attempted to, it was him she had turned to, not her boyfriend. She hadn't called him. She probably hadn't even thought about him. He wasn't part of her world anymore. Now she was quite happily nestled in Geoff's arms and she liked it there. Images of Ruby drifting away from him and towards Geoff plagued his mind as he slept on.

By lamplight, Ruby sat cross-legged on her bed. She'd changed into her pyjamas and pulled the blanket round her shoulders. It felt like she'd been staring at the letter in her hand for hours. She glanced at the clock. It was nearly two in the morning. She _had _been staring at it, unopened, for hours. Sighing, she turned the envelope over in her hand. With trembling fingers, she opened it and pulled out age. Heavy hearted, she began to read.

Alone in her hospital room, with only a nurse to check on her every half an hour, Charlie lay still as a statue on the thin mattress. A catheter meant she wouldn't have to get up. She couldn't get up. A ventilator enabled her to breathe. She was attached to a drip ensuring that she didn't fade away. The quiet beeps filling the otherwise empty room would have let her know that her heart was beating if she could hear them. But she couldn't hear them. She was in a coma and the machines were preparing themselves for a long term relationship.


	7. Chapter 7

_This chapter is for drowningnotwaving. We struck a deal. And at last we get a little insight into Charlie's mindset as we delve into the letter that she wrote to Ruby. Tomorrow's update of Forbidden and Interwoven will be late as I am going to the hospital so have patience. It will appear eventually. IJKS xxx_

***

**Chapter Seven**

To my dearest, darling Ruby,

I know things aren't good between us right now and if you're reading this, you're probably feeling a whole mix of emotions including more anger. I beg you not to hate me for what I've done. I love you so much Ruby and I've only ever wanted to do right by you and while I wish it could have been another way, I feel that this is my only option.

Our lives were destroyed when you found out the truth about me and the crazier things got, the more I realised we'd never recover. Ruby, I'm one big disaster. Maybe once upon a time I could have been something different but from the day I was attacked, I lost control of my life. You know me. You've seen me make bad decision after bad decision. I hurt people. Unforgivably, I hurt people. I never mean it but it's always the way it turns out. I hurt Joey. She never deserved what I did to her. And now I've hurt you. I want to stop doing that, to stop messing up people's lives. While it breaks my heart to know I'll never get to see you again, to hold you, to laugh with you, to tell you that I love you with all my heart, this is the only thing I can think to do. And I ask you to grant me forgiveness one more time.

Please don't think that I don't love you. I love you more than I could ever explain. Even though we didn't start out our lives together so well, I did love you from the moment you were born. You were the most beautiful baby in the world. I know I'm probably biased but I'm sure it's true. You had this little tuft of hair and the most beautiful baby blue eyes. Your little face was all round and chubby and you had the cutest button nose. I may not have been able to look after you, to raise you as my own but I was never too young to love you to the depth of my being. I did. I do. I always will.

I truly wish that it could be another way. I wish I could go back in time and be your Mum. I wish I could have been honest with you, struggled through my pain and taken care of you like I wanted to, like I should have. I hope that until this happened, I was a good sister. I hope I took care of you in my own way, that I protected you and never left you feeling unloved. Never in your life have you ever lacked love. You've had it in the abundance you deserve – from everyone. You bring it out in people in a way I never managed. While I shut people out, you were always the one to welcome them in. Please don't ever lose that. It's a quality I always wished I could have had.

This letter is meant to tell you everything you should know but my mind is such a jumble of thoughts and fears right now that I doubt I'll get everything down. I hope I don't miss anything important. I suppose really the most essential message I need to leave with you is that I love you so that my heart is full to bursting. I'm proud of you, my beautiful baby girl. Please forgive me for leaving you. I hope you don't think I'm abandoning you again. I guess I am. But I don't mean it like that, Ruby. I don't want to leave you. I don't want to lose you. But I can't see an alternative. I've lost everything. I've lost you, Joey, my job, everything I've ever believed in. And even though I didn't kill him, I'm facing a murder charge that I won't be able to get out of. There's no evidence but motive and lack of alibi but if there isn't evidence pointing to anyone else, it'll be enough if they want me to be responsible. And it seems that they do. I'd rather take my life into my own hands than be victim yet again to injustice and cruelty.

'I love you' seems like such a hollow, overused phrase but it's the one that fits. I do love you. And I know that you're going to grow up and be whoever you want to be. I know you're going to reach out and grab hold of everything that makes you happy. I wish I could be there to see it but I feel that I'd only ever be the one who drags you down. I'm not trying to hurt you by saying goodbye. I'm trying to set you free. I want to rid you of our past, the circumstances that hurt us both so much. The secrets can stop now and you can be happy again like you deserve. I want to free you from your burdens and let you fly.

I love you. Forever.

Your Mum,

Charlie


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Charlie greeted the morning as she had waved goodbye to the night – silently, without noticing, without moving. Sunlight poured in through the slats of the blinds but it didn't affect her. Machines beeped. Charlie breathed. But she was far away.

* * *

Morag was awake early. She slipped out of bed and got ready, letting her husband sleep. Aden was just getting ready to leave for work on the docks as she arrived downstairs.

"How's Ross?" Aden asked.

She accepted that he'd heard the news. She supposed everybody had by now.

"Broken, confused, hurting," she said honestly.

He nodded.

"I'm sorry to hear about everything," he said.

He turned and left for work.

* * *

Irene was busy making breakfast for the kids. Geoff had overslept and just grabbed a piece of toast on his way out to work, asking her to tell Ruby to call him if she needed anything. She was sitting with Annie at the table when a tired, sad looking Ruby finally emerged from her room. Her hair was messy and she was still undressed.

"I don't have to go to school today, do I?" she checked.

"No, love," Irene said.

Obviously school was important but there was no harm in Ruby taking a few days to be with her family. It was understandable that she would want to spend the day by Charlie's bedside.

"Geoff said to call him if you needed him," Irene added.

Ruby nodded and sat down beside Annie who smiled sympathetically at her friend. Ruby smiled back and poured herself some juice. Really, she wasn't sure if she could stomach food and drink but she knew she had to try if she was going to face the day. She had to be strong for Charlie.

* * *

Joey approached the kitchen, feeling almost as shy as she had the first morning after Charlie had brought her home after her ordeal with Robbo. Leah and VJ were eating breakfast.

"Hey, Joey," Leah greeted. "How did you sleep?"

"As well as possible," Joey said. "You?"

"I was out like a light," Leah admitted, feeling a little guilty. "The day was pretty exhausting."

"Yeah," Joey agreed.

"I made plenty of pancakes for all of us," Leah said, gesturing to the stack in the middle of the table.

Joey took a plate from the cupboard and sat down with a genuine smile.

"I figured we could all do with a pick me up," Leah explained.

"It's a great idea, Mum," VJ affirmed, tucking into his fourth helping.

The women chuckled at his enthusiasm.

"I'm dropping VJ off to school in ten minutes and then I can take you to the hospital if you'd like," Leah offered. "I have to go the Diner for my shift but I'm more than happy to get you there."

"Thank you, Leah – as long as it's not too much trouble."

"It's no problem at all, Joey. And you can stay here for as long as you'd like."

"I really appreciate it. Thank you."

* * *

Xavier had a face like thunder when he woke up and no amount of prompting by his big brother could make him talk. He hated that he was losing Ruby. Part of him wished that if she was going to dump him, she'd just do it already but then, he didn't want to lose her. If only there was something he could do to keep her. She was so beautiful and funny and kind. He'd honestly believed that they'd always be together. And it hurt that they'd drifted away from each other so drastically. One minute, they'd been pledging their commitment to each other and even made love. It hadn't been Xavier's first time but it had been Ruby's. Still, it had been as special for him as it had been for her because while he'd had sex before, he'd never been truly in love. Ruby meant everything to him and he couldn't bear to let her go, not when they had shared so much.

"Hey, cheer up," Hugo said, trying again. "You're going to need to be strong for Ruby in all this."

Xavier stood up and stormed into his bedroom. Hugo turned to Martha, utterly perplexed.

"What did I say?" he asked.

* * *

Nicole left the house early and headed over to Irene's to see Ruby. She hoped it wasn't a bad time to come round but she wanted to see her before school. Knocking on the door, she found Ruby and Annie sitting at the table eating breakfast. Shyly, she entered the house. Ruby looked at her and burst into tears. Hurrying forward, Nicole caught her friends in her arms and held her, promising that everything would be okay, although she had no idea whether she was telling the truth or not.

* * *

On his walk to work, Aden pulled out his phone. He called Joey. It rang.

"Aden?"

He allowed himself to smile at the voice he hadn't heard in such a long time. He'd missed Joey terribly. She'd been out to sea at the time of the wedding and sent her apologies in response to his invitation. Through all of his trauma with Belle, Aden had desperately wished for two of the people he trusted most – Roman and Joey. But one was in jail and the other was away sailing and trying to heal her broken heart.

"Joey!" he said.

"Hey. How are you?"

"I'm..."

He trailed off.

"Listen, have you heard?"

"About Charlie," she said.

"Yes."

"I was at the hospital all of yesterday."

"You're in the Bay?" Aden exclaimed.

"I got here yesterday," she told him. "I stayed at Leah's last night."

"How is she? Charlie, I mean."

He was angry with what she'd done but it didn't mean that he didn't feel terrible for her.

"She's... not good. She's in a coma and they haven't said whether she'll make it or not. But she's alive."

"I'm sorry, Joey," he said sincerely. "Listen, I have to go to work but will you be around later? I'd really like to see you."

"I'll definitely be free between twelve and two and then after six," Joey said.

"So we could do lunch?"

"That sounds good."

Joey hadn't missed the fact that he'd changed the subject when she'd asked him how he was. She had no idea what had been going on for him lately but knowing that he'd just got married and should therefore be on top of the world; the fact that he wasn't, meant that she was missing a chunk of his story. She felt guilty for not having been there for him. Even though it would have meant facing Charlie, she had wanted to come to the wedding. She had wanted to celebrate her friend's special day. And in retrospect, she wondered if she could have helped Charlie with what she was going through if she had been there. Or perhaps she would have just made things worse. She had no idea. But anyway, it was too late now. All she could do was deal with the situation in hand. She just needed to be there for Charlie now. The present was what counted.

* * *

Ruby, Nicole and Annie sat on the couch. Nicole and Annie had firmly decided that they didn't care if they were late to school or even if they showed up at all. It was unlike Annie to be so lax about this kind of thing but today was a special circumstance. Her friend needed her and she wasn't about to let her down. Irene had long since started her shift at the Diner and the girls had the house to themselves.

"I just can't get the image of her lying there out of my head," Ruby said.

It was true. Charlie lying on her back, slightly propped up on the pillows, palm open and arms dripping with blood – was etched in her memory.

"I've never seen anything like it. I almost didn't recognise her. She'd always been so full of life, so active, so feisty, so... alive. And seeing her there like that, it... She'd given up on everything. She'd given up on life."

She wiped her eyes. Annie put her arm around her.

"I mean, it's Charlie, you know? She yells, bosses me about, she falls into ridiculous relationships, she fights bad guys, she stands up for herself and everyone she cares about. She doesn't do _this._ She doesn't say goodbye and end her life. She doesn't... that's not her. It's not."

"Maybe it was just a cry for help," Nicole suggested. "Maybe she wasn't giving up. Maybe she..."

"She meant it," Ruby said certainly. "Everything was too detailed, too well planned, too careful. And she wrote me a letter to say goodbye. The woman who gave me life left me with a suicide note."

Annie held Ruby a little tighter.

"And you know the worst thing?" Ruby said through her tears.

Both girls waited for her to tell them.

"It was my fault."

* * *

Ross arrived in the kitchen looking unhappy.

"Why didn't you wake me?" he snapped, not bothering with so much as a good morning.

Morag put a cup of coffee down on the table and guided him to his seat.

"You had a traumatic day, Ross," she explained calmly. "You obviously needed to sleep."

"But visiting starts at nine. It's already that time now!"

"Visiting starts at ten, darling," Morag said kindly.

"What? No, the nurse said nine. I distinctly remember her saying it to us."

Morag stood and moved to the pin board. As had become their system a long time ago, Ross had written the visiting hours down in a note to himself. They'd put it on the board when they got in. Presenting it to him, she watched him sigh.

"It says ten," he said.

"Which is good because it means we have a whole hour until we need to be there," Morag said brightly.

* * *

"Ruby, it wasn't your fault," Nicole said quickly, horrified that her friend would even consider that as a possibility.

Things had been fractured between Ruby and Charlie but not so much that Charlie would commit suicide. She wouldn't end her life because of Ruby not living with her or talking to her as easily as she once had.

"She says in her note that she was trying to set me free from the past by doing this," Ruby sobbed. "She said she was a disaster and would only drag me down and hurt me. She said she wanted to stop letting me down by letting me go."

She buried her head in Annie's shoulder. Annie looked helplessly at Nicole. Neither girl knew what to say.

"Ruby, Charlie had a lot going on. She'd been shaken up by seeing your father again after all that time and what he did to her. Things were difficult and she was being investigated for murder. There was so much in her head, that's why she probably wanted out. And yes, she probably saw it as a way of setting you free. If she wasn't around then maybe she thought you could forget about her and everything you've been through. But that doesn't mean this was your fault," Nicole said gently.

Ruby looked up at her.

"Do you really think it wasn't my fault?"

"I know it wasn't and nobody would ever accuse you of it. Ruby, it's not about fault. It's about a desperate woman who didn't know what to do to save herself."

* * *

Having dropped VJ off at school, Leah doubled back home to collect Joey and take her to the hospital before she headed to work. Entering the kitchen, she called her friend's name. Joey appeared looking a little refreshed. She smiled cheerfully.

"Ready to go?"

A knock on the door interrupted them. Leah didn't know whether to smile or grimace when she saw Detective Robert Robertson standing there in his sharp suit. She ended up doing a little of both.

"Good morning," he said brightly.

"Not really," Leah said.

Joey remained quiet, eyeing up the stranger, trying to figure out who he was.

"Yes, I'm sorry that your friend did what she did," Robertson said. "How is she?"

"Are you asking because you care or because it's important to your stupid investigation?"

Anger was rising within Leah. She liked the guy and she hated herself for it. He had caused her housemate nothing but grief and he didn't even care. While the rational part of her knew he was just doing his job, doing what Charlie herself would do in his position, the irrational part of her had stayed up on countless nights with Charlie while she suffered that week, had held Ruby while they waited for news, had seen the blood stains Charlie had left behind on the bed. That part of her wanted to scream and shout and cry; that part of her wanted to blame him for her friend being in a coma, possibly to never wake up.

"Both," he replied honestly.

"She's in a coma and she might never recover," Leah said flatly. "So I hope you're happy."

"Why would I be happy?" Robertson asked.

"You're the one convinced that she's some evil murderer."

"She's my prime suspect. That's not my fault. And I never said she was evil. If ever there was a reason to kill somebody, raping and impregnating you at fourteen is a pretty good motive. As motives go."

Leah looked at Joey for some kind of reaction but she didn't look as if she was stunned by Robertson's revelation. As if noticing Leah's houseguest for the first time, Robertson extended his hand. Joey declined to shake it. She didn't want to be friendly with someone who had taken away the job that Charlie loved. Robertson studied her and returned his hand to his side.

"And who might you be?" he asked. "My name's Robert Robertson and as I'm sure you've realised I'm running a murder investigation surrounding Charlie Buckton."

"I'm Joey."

"Joey Collins?" Robertson asked, interested.

Joey looked at him suspiciously.

"You're mentioned in Charlie's case file. A dismissed indiscretion," he explained.

"It wasn't an indiscretion," Joey said darkly.

She turned to Leah.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"Yes," Leah said, thrilled to be removing herself from the situation.

"I was just here to confirm our date tonight," Robertson said to her.

"I don't think so," Leah said. "I need to be around for Charlie now."

She nudged him out the door, feeling as disappointed as he looked. Joey followed her out the door and after locking up, they headed to the car in silence, leaving Robertson to watch them depart.

* * *

At the hospital, Rebecca Marsters, a staff nurse in the ICU, entered Charlie's room. She opened the blinds the full way, wanting to let as much light into the room as possible. She looked down at her patient. She felt sad for everyone in the unit but something about the fact that Senior Constable Buckton had done this to herself struck her as tragic. She took the observations that she needed to take, writing them down on her chart and then placing the folder back at the end of the bed. Apparently her patient had had a lot of visitors the previous night so hopefully they would be back again when the ward opened in half an hour. Maybe that would be enough to bring this Charlie round.


	9. Chapter 9

_Okay, this is the hardest story to recover after my USB stick crash but I am doing my best! I lost twelve chapters so... ugh! But I'm getting there. Hope you like the chapter! IJKS_

**Chapter Nine**

Everyone arrived at the hospital at the same time, observing each other with curiosity as they tried to figure out who should visit when. Opting to take it in turns, Morag suggested that they work out some kind of rota so that Charlie had visits round the clock but nobody was left hanging around or encroaching on each other's time with her. While Ross went in to see his little girl, the others worked out the times that suited all of them so that they could take it in fair turns to spend time with the woman they all cared so much about. Morag wondered, not for the first time, if, had Charlie known just how loved she was, would she have done what she did? Guilt washed over her as she wished to take her time back and be more caring and supportive of her step-daughter. She wasn't sure exactly what else she could have done. She'd stepped in as Charlie's lawyer as she fought suspicion over Grant's murder and she'd tried to be understanding and offer a listening ear when Charlie had come to her with fears that Angelo was being unfaithful. But obviously none of that had been enough. Sitting in the corridor, waiting for Ross to finish his visit, she eyed Angelo curiously. What had his role been in all this? Had he cheated on Charlie? Was it his fault that she was here? He looked back, his eyes heavy lidded and looking like he hadn't slept all night. He probably hadn't. Neither Ruby nor Joey looked like they had fared much better.

***

As the morning wore on, Joey waited patiently for her turn to see Charlie. Ross had gone in first and then Morag had joined him. They had headed home afterwards and were due to visit again the following morning. Now, Ruby was in there, spending time with the woman she had recently discovered was actually her biological mother. It left Joey sitting with Angelo in awkward silence. She didn't know what to say to him and he appeared to have nothing to say to her. They had already established that she was sticking around and he'd made it clear that he wasn't too keen on the idea. Charlie was his and his alone as far as he was concerned. And Joey didn't know what she and Charlie meant to each other anymore. Words from the letter she'd sent, whirled around her brain, confusing her and making her heart hurt. All she wanted to do was rush into her room and beg Charlie to wake up. She had missed her all this time and knowing that she may well lose her forever, just made it all harder.

***

Ruby sat by Charlie's bedside, delicately holding her hand. She clutched the letter in her other hand, having read it over and over again.

"Charlie, how could you ever think I'd be better off without you?" she asked sadly. "I could never be better off without you in my life. Even when I just thought you were my sister, my world revolved around you. You were always the one who took care of me, who stood up for me, who loved me. I love you, Charlie. I need you so much. Please wake up and come back to me."

***

"Do you want to go or shall I?" Angelo said stiffly when Ruby exited Charlie's room.

"You can," said Joey. "I'll wait."

Angelo wondered if perhaps he could take up most of the rest of the time so that Joey couldn't see Charlie for very long. He knew it was unkind but he couldn't seem to control the overwhelming urge to keep them away from each other, to keep Charlie to himself. He entered the room. Once the door was closed, Ruby came to sit beside Joey. They held hands and Ruby leant against her sister's ex-girlfriend.

"How was it?" Joey asked.

"It was okay," Ruby replied quietly. "It's hard seeing her like that. She usually so full of life, even when she's angry. _Especially _when she's angry."

Joey chuckled and held the younger girl a little closer. Seeing Charlie so frail and broken was going to be no easy task for however long she remained in her coma. All she could hope was that she didn't stay asleep for too long.

***

Inside Charlie's room, Angelo took in the surroundings. It was a nice, quiet room where Charlie could lie comfortably. She was laid flat on her back. There was a tube up her nose providing her with oxygen and she had a catheter down by the side of her bed. Her finger was attached her to a machine which as far as he could tell, was monitoring her heart rate, her blood oxygen levels and her blood pressure. He wasn't sure what the other two wavy lines indicated. She had needles in the back of her hand and was on a drip. He wondered exactly what they were doing for her and couldn't help but fret that she wasn't going to get through this. Her body, once so powerful and strong, looked so frail. Her usually tanned skin was ashen and her eyes were firmly closed. Sitting beside her, he took her hand gently in his and begged her to wake up.

***

Ruby had left to go and have lunch with Ross and Morag and Joey continued to wait in the corridor. It was twenty to twelve and Angelo had been in with his girlfriend for ages. She sighed and stretched her legs out in front of her, wondering if she was going to get to see her at all this morning.

"Are you alright there?"

Joey looked up and saw Charlie's nurse looking at her sympathetically.

"Yeah," she said. "Just waiting for my turn to see Charlie before visiting hours close for the afternoon."

"Is it her boyfriend in there now?" the nurse asked.

Joey nodded, looking and feeling sad. She still hated the thought of her being with Angelo. While she was sure he was a nice guy, she still couldn't help but want to claim Charlie for her own. She'd spent a lot of her waiting time telling herself not to be silly and selfish and reminding herself that this was about Charlie. It wasn't about her or Angelo or them competing over who loved her the most.

"He's been in there quite some time," the woman, Rebecca answered. "Do you want me to hurry him along?"

"You can try," Joey said. "But I doubt you'll be successful."

The nurse gave her a quizzical look.

"He doesn't like me. I wouldn't be surprised if he was taking as long with her as he could so that I had to go home without spending time with her."

"Well, that's not fair," Rebecca said.

She got up and headed into Charlie's room.

***

"What was she like on her last day?" Ross asked his wife and the girl he had raised as his daughter.

"I didn't see her," Ruby admitted quietly.

"Nor did I," said Morag. "I think she spent the last day choosing to be alone."

Ross nodded and sighed. He rubbed his head.

"When did you two last see her?"

He had never hated his illness more than now. If he wasn't sick then he wouldn't be living away from his daughter in some care home. He would have been happily married to Morag and living in Summer Bay around the people that he loved. And if he had been around, perhaps none of this mess would have happened. He could have helped somehow and been able to stop this tragedy.

"I saw her the day before... the day before," Morag said, staring at her salad. "She saw me in the morning. Everything seemed fine."

"And I saw her in the evening," Ruby said. "She um... she wanted to hang out."

"What did you do together?" Ross asked.

"Nothing. I was... I was too busy."

Her voice caught on the last word and she hurriedly brushed some tears away. Nothing would ever eradicate her guilt over that, especially if Charlie didn't pull through. Ross put his hand atop hers.

"It's okay, Ruby," he said gently. "You weren't to know."

"But maybe if I'd have spent time with her, she might not have..."

"I think she'd already planned it," Morag said. "Or else how would she have written to Joey in advance?"

***

"Hi," Rebecca said softly.

Angelo turned around, immediately worried that something was wrong.

"Sorry to disturb you. It's just that it's nearly the end of visiting hours and your friend wants to come and see her too."

"She's not my friend."

"Well, Charlie's friend then," Rebecca said. "It'd be nice if she got the chance before we have to close to visitors."

Gritting his teeth, Angelo nodded. He ought to have known that Joey wouldn't let him get away with his plan. She'd probably been busy seducing the nurse to get her onside, the way she'd seduced Charlie.

"I'll be out in a sec," he told her.

Rebecca nodded and smiled before moving out of the room.

***

Joey had managed to spend time with Charlie for all of ten minutes, and that was with Rebecca granting her a few minutes extra time. Now, she was sat in the Diner waiting for Aden to show up for lunch. She was due to visit again in the afternoon but again, she was following Angelo so who knew if she'd actually get her full amount of allotted time.

"Joey!"

She looked up to see one of her favourite people in the world approaching her table. Standing, she gathered Aden into her arms and held him tight, almost collapsing against him. He held onto her just as tightly and buried his face in her neck. Drawing away, they sat down at their table.

"I've missed you," Aden said.

"I've missed you too," she replied.

"How...?"

They were interrupted by Colleen hurrying towards them, with a notebook in her hands. However, she looked like she was ready to take notes about their lives rather than taking their order.

"How's Senior Constable Buckton?" she asked immediately.

Joey was surprised by how genuinely concerned she seemed.

"She's stable," she said. "But no improvement yet."

"I am sorry to hear about it all," Colleen said sympathetically. "Such a tragedy. She's a good woman. But then I suppose you know that or you would be here."

Joey smiled politely. The last thing she wanted to do was give Colleen information about her and Charlie. She didn't know how much people knew about them and it felt terribly inappropriate to talk about the whole thing. There were more important things going on than that.

"Colleen, could we order take out?" Aden asked.

"Of course," the waitress replied.

They ordered their meals and waited for the older woman to take them to the kitchen. Joey eyed him curiously.

"I just want to talk to you properly," he said. "Without listening ears."

***

Angelo spent lunch time alone. He was due to visit at two o'clock and then he had a shift at work that he wasn't looking forward to. Robertson grated on his last nerve and he did not relish the thought of being around him for the next however long. He thought he might crack up.

***

"So nobody knows about what drove her to this?" Ross asked.

He was still struggling to get his head around the whole thing and it was bordering on impossible.

"All I can think is that it was the murder investigation," Morag said. "Being accused of murdering that man... that awful, awful man... It doesn't bear thinking about it."

"I think it was my fault," Ruby said.

Both parental figures looked at her.

"What do you mean?" Ross asked.

"Well, she and I weren't exactly getting along, were we? I said some awful things to her over the last few weeks. I really hurt her. And then I couldn't even take time to be with her the night before she... before."

Morag put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Ruby, it wasn't your fault."

"She's wouldn't have just done this because of the murder charge. Charlie was stronger than that. It must have been something else and the only thing I can think of was that I was such a cow to her and she didn't think I loved her. But I do. I love her so much. I was hurt but I always loved her."

"Ruby, Charlie was struggling with other things too," Morag ventured.

"Other things?"

"She told me... she said she thought that Angelo was cheating on her."

Ross and Ruby set their jaws in the same manner at the same time.

"What?" Ross asked darkly.

"I don't think it was true," Morag said quickly.

"Well where did you get this from?" Ruby asked.

"Charlie had been shown some incriminating photographs of Angelo with some women. I think he was working undercover. That's what he said but he couldn't give her a proper explanation."

"If he hurt her..." Ruby snarled, her voice full of warning.

"I think it was a misunderstanding," Morag said, feeling bad for dropping Charlie's boyfriend in it.

"Yeah," Ruby said. "A misunderstanding that could have cost Charlie her life!"


	10. Chapter 10

_Hi everyone. Here is your next instalment. And for the record, I know 'duvet' isn't an Aussie word but I'm a British chickie and I use it shamelessly! Enjoy. Sort of. You know what I mean. IJKS xxx_

***

**Chapter Ten**

Joey and Aden sat side by side on the beach. Both had abandoned their food as they shared their own personal sorrow. Joey told Aden about the suicide note and how she had rushed over to see Charlie as soon as she could and how guilty she felt that she couldn't save her. And Aden had shared all about his too short marriage and Belle's death. He was going through the motions now, working with Geoff on the trawler, looking out for Nicole who didn't seem to want to be looked out for and living with Ross and Morag while they visited Charlie every day. Joey was awash with more guilt over not being around for her friend. Aden had been so kind to her throughout everything with Robbo. He had seen the pain that she denied and he got help for her. He'd brought her and Charlie together in the first place. And then just when he was going through the worst time in his life, she hadn't been around. Consumed with her own pain over Charlie cheating on her with Hugo, she'd fled and only come back because of Charlie's pain. She hadn't kept in touch with anybody, not even Aden who had done no wrong, and she hadn't taken care of him when he needed support. Silently, she vowed never to abandon him again.

"I'm glad you're back, Joey," he said, letting her hug him. "I mean, I wish it was in better circumstances but still, I'm glad you're here."

"I'm sorry I haven't been around for you," Joey apologised.

"It's okay. How were you to know?"

"I should have stayed in touch. I just... when I left I felt like the most irrelevant, dumb, unloved person in the world. I didn't think it mattered if I stayed in touch with anyone. I just wanted to go away and start my life over."

Aden leant into her.

"And did you?"

"Partly. But no, not really. At the end of the day, I was still thinking about Charlie all the time. Every night when I went to sleep, she was still on my mind. So no, I guess I never truly started again. I never forgot her. And I still came running when she needed me."

"Did you... did you meet anyone else?"

Joey nodded.

"I dated a few girls here and there," she admitted. "Never anything serious. Never anyone who stole my heart."

"Because your heart already belonged to Charlie," Aden concluded.

"Tragic, hey? She moved on."

"Yeah, she moved on and yet she specifically told you goodbye when she decided to die," Aden pointed out.

Joey mind flashed to the letter she'd received. She'd been sleeping with it under her pillow and carrying around with her everywhere she went. Even now it was in her back pocket. She smiled, thinking that Charlie really might not have moved on as much as she appeared to have on the surface. Now, all she could hope was that there was a future. Aden caught her look.

"Is she going to be okay, do you think?" he asked.

Joey sighed.

"I have no idea," she said.

***

Angelo sat by Charlie's bedside from the moment that the afternoon hours opened at the hospital. He was glad to be able to spend time with her and desperately wished that she would wake up in his presence. There were so many things he wanted to ask her, to share with her. And there was so much love he wanted to give her. His heart ached from the knowledge that Charlie could die believing that he had cheated on her. The idea was absurd. He would never have betrayed her like that. It was frustrating that she didn't believe him and that she had been so unreasonable about him telling the truth. But he knew that should he have the chance, he would tell her everything. Sitting beside his unconscious, dying girlfriend suddenly put everything into perspective.

***

After she had left Ross and Morag's, Ruby went for a walk to be alone with her thoughts. She'd pondered calling Xavier but decided that she didn't really want to see him. She wasn't much in the mood for explaining everything all over again. It hurt too much. But she was acutely aware that she hadn't spoken to him since well before the incident with Charlie had happened. She squeezed her eyes shut against the sun and the world it lit up before her. Thinking about everything was too much for her to bear. Sleeping last night had been almost impossible. The image of Charlie lying there, half dead, was etched onto her brain. Her mother had a lot of apologising to do when she woke up for putting her through so much trauma. Or perhaps it was Ruby who had to make everything up to Charlie.

***

Joey and Aden had parted ways in order for Aden to get back to work and Joey to get to the hospital. Sitting in the waiting room, she had her eyes firmly settled on the clock, waiting for Angelo to be late out. She didn't want to be suspicious and think the worst of someone but she wondered if perhaps he would do whatever he could to sabotage Joey's time with Charlie. She supposed, if she was lucky enough to still be with Charlie, she wouldn't want one of her exes hanging around, especially one he appeared to feel so threatened by. She couldn't help but wonder what Charlie had told him about her. How had she described their romance? Joey supposed she could have been a little more tactful about the letter when she'd first arrived. She'd just assumed that Angelo would get a letter too. The door opened and she looked up quickly. He was out at three thirty exactly. Maybe she had got him wrong. She stood up, waiting for him to approach. He didn't. He just stalked past her. Maybe she hadn't got him wrong after all. Silently, she slipped inside Charlie's room.

***

Aden and Geoff tiredly stepped off the trawler. Aden said goodbye and headed home as quickly as possible. Geoff walked more slowly along the beach front. He spotted Ruby immediately. Wandering up to her, he sat beside her on the sand and nudged his shoulder gently into her. She looked up with a tearful smile.

"You okay?" he asked, concerned.

She sighed.

"I have no idea," she said.

***

Joey sat with Charlie, listening to the beeping of the machines and the gentle rise and fall of her tummy, wishing she didn't know that it was a machine breathing for her.

"Oh, Charlie," she said heavily. "Charlie, please wake up. I came all this way to see you and you're asleep? That's not very hospitable."

She tried to smile but surprised herself by bursting into tears. She hurriedly wiped her eyes but still more came.

"Charlie, why did you do this?" she asked. "You're the last person I ever would have expected to do... this. You're the hero. You're the strong, brave hero. What are you doing here? Why can't you wake up? You could just wake up and make everything okay if you wanted to. Charlie, I'll do anything to bring you back. I just don't know what to do."

She wept harder.

"I don't know what to do."

***

Leah served the wrong table for the third time. Frustrated, she stormed back into the kitchen and began taking deep breaths. Irene had an arm round her in a matter of seconds.

"Oh, love," she said kindly.

"I don't know what's the matter with me," Leah said, wiping her eyes.

"Everyone's feeling it with Charlie and everything," Irene said. "But people that were really close to her, people like you, are obviously going to feel it more. It's normal."

"I just... I lived with her, Irene. I should have been able to see the signs. I should have known. I should have helped. I knew she was down about Angelo and obviously about the murder investigation and everything. She's lost so much recently. It should have been blindingly obvious!"

"Nobody knows what goes on in a person's head," Irene pointed out. "If she wanted to keep it a secret, she would have. And she did. There was nothing you could have done."

Leah nodded and took a deep breath. Irene let her go and smiled kindly.

"What do you mean she was upset about Angelo?"

They both turned to find Colleen hovering in the background.

***

There was a soft knock on the door. Joey turned and smiled softly as Ruby entered the room.

"How is she?" Ruby asked.

"Pretty much the same," Joey replied sadly.

"Better than worse, I guess," Ruby said, moving closer.

Joey stood and bent to kiss Charlie's forehead.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Charlie," she promised.

Hugging Ruby, she said goodbye and began to head back to Leah's.

***

Angelo had gone into work for a few hours but knocked off early. He couldn't face Robertson parading around like he owned the place, treating Charlie's attempted suicide as just another piece of his puzzle. Charlie's life and death wasn't something to be played with. He was treating it all disgustingly casually and everyone was annoyed, especially Watson who had developed a habit of slamming things down on the desk instead of placing them politely. Angelo had escaped as quickly as possible and headed to the Diner. The idea was to have some food and beer and go home and try to forget about the world, not that that was possible. All he could think about was Charlie.

***

Geoff sat in the Diner, waiting for Ruby. When he'd found her on the beach, she was so upset and preparing to see Charlie so he had offered to meet her for dinner to try and cheer her up. He looked up and smiled, waving her over when he saw her enter. She smiled back with as much enthusiasm she could muster in the circumstances and came to sit opposite him.

"How was it?" Geoff asked.

Ruby nodded.

"Okay. It's hard seeing her like that," she said.

"Yeah, I can hardly imagine how you're feeling right now. I'm so sorry, Rubes."

They were interrupted by Colleen approaching them to take their order.

"How's Senior Constable Buckton?" she asked immediately.

"No change," Ruby replied.

Colleen sighed sadly.

"Do you know what happened yet?" she asked.

"She tried to kill herself," Ruby said flatly.

"I mean... I mean what led up to it? I heard it was..."

She looked awkwardly in Angelo's direction. Ruby glared at him. She hadn't noticed he was there, slouching in the corner, until now. Anger seethed through her veins. She stood quickly and stormed over to him, shocking Colleen and Geoff both. Angelo looked up at her.

"Hey, Ruby..." he ventured.

"Did you cheat on Charlie?" Ruby demanded.

He blanched.

"What? No! Of course I didn't!"

"Then what happened?"

"I..."

"You what?"

"I never cheated on Charlie."

"But she thought you did, right?"

"Well..."

"She might die because you messed her around," Ruby accused loudly.

"You know that's not true."

"We're all to blame for this, Angelo. Me, Grant, whoever killed him... and you. But at least I'm big enough to admit it."

"Ruby, I never cheated on Charlie."

"You lied to her though," Ruby snapped.

"It wasn't like that..."

"Well, she thought it was. And now she's in a coma."

Angelo was painfully aware that everyone, including Colleen was watching them. He swallowed and shifted in his seat. The last thing he needed was for people to start pointing the finger of suspicion at him.

"Ruby, I never cheated on Charlie," he insisted, keeping his voice level. "I would never do that. I didn't hurt her. I swear."

"Did she know that?" Ruby asked.

He chewed his lip.

"That's the point, Angelo," she told him.

She turned and left. Geoff jumped up and scurried after her, bringing her bag, which she'd left behind.

***

The house was empty and still when Joey arrived back from visiting Charlie. She'd taken a slow walk back to the house to gather her thoughts. It still didn't make sense that her beautiful Charlie would be lying there so fragile and at the mercy of the world around her. Letting herself into the house, she glided quietly to the room she had once occupied, first alone and then with Charlie herself for that last precious week. She swallowed and tears stung her eyes when she saw the mess in front of her. The bed was made but for a few ruffles. The bed spread was stained with blood. On the floor were some empty blister packs of pills and a discarded bottle of vodka with an open top lid. The floor was slightly darker in patches. She knelt on the floor and touched the carpet with her hands. It was damp and smelled of alcohol. She gathered up the pill packets and placed them gently in the waste paper basket. She set the empty bottle by the door to recycle. Reaching out towards the bed, she began to undress the mattress. She took the sheets out in the kitchen and put them in the washing machine. Adding the soap powder and conditioner, she turned the machine on and headed back into the bedroom with a cloth. She was grateful that there was no blood on the mattress but some had seeped through the covers and onto the duvet. Sinking to her knees again, she began to wash the floor, bringing out the stain and smell from the lost vodka.

***

"I would not like to be on your bad side," Geoff commented when he finally caught up to Ruby.

She continued walking and wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. Perhaps berating Angelo for his treatment of Charlie hadn't been fair but it had made her feel better. And besides, now that Joey was home, Ruby hoped that Charlie would wake up and be with her instead of him. She'd known at the time that Charlie and Joey were meant to be together. Charlie had never loved anyone like she'd loved Joey and that included Angelo. If only Charlie would wake up and realise that she had something to live for, everything would be alright again. Ross would stop making himself ill through stress, she could make it up to Charlie for abandoning her, and Joey could be her girlfriend again. Unfortunately, it was based on a big 'if only' and in her heart of hearts, Ruby wasn't sure if it was realistic.

"That'll teach everyone not to mess with me," with mock ferocity.

"It will. Do you want me to make dinner at home instead?" Geoff asked.

He handed her bag over and they began to wander back to the house.

"That sound good," she said. "Thank you. It's nice to know I have someone I can count on."

He smiled, pleased with the compliment and insisting that he ought to not get carried away with Ruby's affection towards him.

***

Angelo escaped the confines of the Diner as soon as he could. Thanks to Ruby, his life was going to be even more difficult than normal. Charlie and his job were all he had in the world. His family had never forgiven him for Jack's death and most of the town just tolerated him these days. Charlie was his life and she was gone, even temporarily. And Summer Bay loved her so much that if they thought he had hurt her in some way, particularly leading up to her attempted suicide, he would go right back to where he'd started. Why did Ruby have to bring it all up so publically? He felt guilty enough. He'd planned to come and see Charlie and try and explain himself better than he had on the Friday. He'd called and texted repeatedly but she had ignored him and he'd done what he thought was best by giving her space. But obviously she'd had too much space and she'd stepped over the edge into oblivion. What had she done over those two days in preparation for her suicide? She'd obviously taken the time to write to Joey. And she must have done that on the Saturday at the latest in order for her to receive it on the Monday and arrive in time for her to get to the hospital. Charlie must have carefully planned everything. He was hurt that Joey had been the person that Charlie had contacted. Did she hate him that much that there had been nothing left for him at her final goodbye? Had he really hurt her so much that she didn't care about him anymore? And did Joey's presence mean anything? Had they been seeing each other in secret? Or had Charlie been gearing up to leave him for her? Had she ever loved him the way Joey had captured her heart? He sighed heavily at the unanswered questions swirling round in his brain. He needed to be alone.

***

Having finished scrubbing, Joey got up and worked her way around the room she knew so well. She pulled out new bedding. The blanket was still drying from where she had tried to get the stain out of it. She left it aside as she put a new sheet on the bed and then perched on it, trying to ignore what had happened right on that spot, in order to dress the pillows. She wanted everything to be perfect for Charlie when she got home. And she refused to accept the possibility that Charlie had come home for the last time. She laid the blanket on the bed smoothly and began her struggle to put the cover on it. When she was done, she stood back and checked that everything was clean and tidy. Moving to the window, she opened it to air the room of cleaning product and sorrow. Slipping out of the room, she closed the door behind her and took a deep breath.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

It was Friday morning and there had so far been no improvement in Charlie's condition. Rebecca watched over her during every shift. She opened her curtains in the morning and closed them goodnight. She spoke to her and watched her family and friends come and go, looking desperate and sad as they tried to be hopeful. But with each day that passed and Charlie remained comfortably in her coma, optimism became harder. It was patients like Charlie that made Rebecca's job so hard. It was patients like her that Rebecca took home in her heart each night. She prayed for her in church meetings and told her husband all about the poor woman who had been so desperate as to try and take her own life and now lay in a coma, oblivious to how many people loved and needed her.

***

Ruby had dragged herself into school but she could hardly concentrate. She was grateful to have Nicole and Annie around but she had already argued with Xavier. He was hurt that she hadn't bothered to get in touch, as he had wanted to support her over Charlie's situation. She'd snapped at him that he was hardly being supportive by hassling her. He'd looked wounded and attempted to apologise, but if Ruby was really being honest, she knew that she had treated him unfairly. In that kind of situation, surely the first person you call is your boyfriend. But she hadn't. She had called Geoff. He had been the one to rush over to the house; he'd been there at the hospital with her and he'd been the one who listened to her every night as she fretted and worried about her most beloved person in the world. She hadn't called Xavier – not even once. She'd completely shut him out and ignored the fact that he loved her and wanted to be there for her. But she had too much pain in her soul to make room for guilt too. All she could do was try and make it right. Looking across at her boyfriend at the next desk she smiled. He smiled back, both of them offering peace. When the teacher wasn't looking, he reached out and held her hand for a brief moment and they both silently vowed to make things right.

***

Angelo was at the hospital at ten o'clock on the dot, with a bouquet of flowers to brighten Charlie's room. Rebecca had promised to put it into a vase for him and hoped that the next time he came, he would be able to see it there on her bedside, a gift to her for when he wasn't there. Taking a seat next to Charlie, he held her hand and sighed heavily.

"Charlie, you've got to wake up," he begged. "I can't do this without you. I need you so much. I need you even more than I ever thought I did and if you could only know how much I was aware I needed you before all this, you'd realise what I'm saying."

He shifted a little in his seat and gazed at her lifeless body and sleeping face.

"When I came back to the Bay, I was terrified. Ever since that night with Jack, my life has been a living hell. I've hated myself. I've woken up on more than one morning, cursing the fact that I was alive. And I came so close to giving up completely out on the cliff edge with Tony. But it was you that made everything possible again. You were the one that pulled me back, first because you accepted and forgave me and then because you were willing to share your life with me."

He took a deep breath and continued to cling onto her hand.

"The idea that someone as amazing as you was willing to love me, even knowing everything I'd done, all the mistakes I'd made... that gave me life, Charlie. You gave me life. And I love you so much. I know those photographs look bad but I swear, I've never cheated on you. I would never. Why would I even think of such a thing when I have the most amazing woman in the world as my girlfriend? Please, Charlie, please don't let this mess be the thing that pushes you over the edge. I know life has been awful lately but if you'd have given us a chance, we could have worked through it. I am so certain that the Grant thing would have blown over. Robertson has been working so hard on that case and there's just been no evidence to speak of. He never would have caught the killer, whoever they were and he would never have had enough evidence to tie his death to you. It would have resolved itself. And things with Ruby would have improved. And you and me... there is nothing that we couldn't have worked through if we'd tried."

He kissed her hand softly.

"We've got over Jack's death, we've got over you not trusting me with your heart, we've even dealt with the Joey thing. We were so good together. Please... please wake up and make everything okay again. I love you. I need you. You complete me. I'm so lost without you."

He moved to place a gentle kiss upon her lips, willing himself to be the Prince who could wake up Snow White.

"You make me a better man, Charlie," he said earnestly. "Please don't leave me. I can't live without you."

***

Joey had a lazy morning. Leah had the morning off so once VJ had been taken to school, they had breakfast together and watched some television. Mostly, they talked over the programme. Mostly they talked about Charlie.

"Do you think I might get a chance to visit her?" Leah asked.

She desperately missed her housemate and couldn't stop worrying about her.

"Of course you can," Joey said quickly. "I'm heading over at three this afternoon. You can come with me if you want."

Leah nodded.

"That'd be great. Thank you. I won't stay long. I just want to let her know that I love her."

"I'm sure she knows but it's different being there than just hearing how she is second-hand, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I'm hoping I'll feel better when I see her."

"She doesn't look good," Joey frowned. "I mean, I _always _think she looks good but... you know."

"I know."

***

Ross and Morag headed up to the hospital to take over from Angelo who had to go to work. The police officer glared at Morag in the same way he had every time he'd seen her. He was well aware that she was responsible for Ruby's outburst in front of the entire Diner earlier in the week. Ever since then, people had given him dirty looks and made horrible comments. They all seemed alarmingly quick to hold him responsible for Charlie's tragedy. He was trying hard not to snap at everyone that if they had cared so damn much about her, then maybe she wouldn't have attempted suicide.

***

"Would you like to go for lunch with me?" Xavier asked shyly when he caught up with Ruby at her locker.

She smiled and he was immediately relieved.

"That'd be nice," she said.

He had been struggling all week, trying to figure out how to be with her during her time of trial. Still he struggled to get the image of Geoff holding her in the in the hospital, out of his head but he was doing his best. Surely Ruby would never have cheated on him. He remembered just how distraught she had been when Charlie cheated on Joey with Hugo. She had been devastated and outraged over Charlie's deceit and when it had resulted in Joey's departure, she had struggled. She'd wanted to be supportive of the woman she knew as a sister but she had privately admitted that she was resentful. She had told him that, once she'd got her head around the whole gay thing, she'd realised that Joey was the best thing to ever happen to her sister. She was certain that Joey would have forgiven and forgotten if Charlie had been upfront and told the truth in the first place instead of lying and hiding her infidelity from her. And she was sure that Charlie could have tried harder to make her stay. Joey's world revolved around Charlie and she'd already put up with so much. One more thing shouldn't have broken them. Ruby was adamant that they should have stayed together and she didn't believe that Angelo or, quite frankly, anyone was an adequate replacement.

***

"Would you like to get a takeaway one night this weekend?" Leah asked. "Maybe a bottle of wine. We could chat some more. What do you think?"

Joey smiled and accepted gratefully. She trusted and liked Leah a lot and she had got a lot out of talking with her that morning. Leah was someone that Charlie knew well and she had been one of the last people, if not the last person to see her alive and well. Joey privately admitted that she was desperate to know everything she could about Charlie's last weekend and what she had been doing during the months that Joey had been away.

***

Ross and Morag left the hospital at lunch time, with a view to returning at two o'clock. The only change in the room was that a bunch of flowers had been put in a glass vase. It lightened a sombre room and brightened some of the darkness they were all shrouded in. They supposed that they must be from Angelo, as they hadn't been there the previous day and he had just left to go to work.

"What shall we do for lunch?" Morag asked when they were in the car.

"Let's just go home," Ross replied tiredly.

His wife nodded and started the car, hoping that her husband, in his frail state, could cope with whatever was to come.

***

Xavier and Ruby took their lunch to the beach in order to sit in the sunshine.

"How's Charlie?" Xavier asked.

Ruby nodded thoughtfully. Her instinct had been to say that she was 'okay' but thinking about it, that was a ridiculous notion. Of course she wasn't okay. She was dying, right there in the bed, in front of her.

"I don't know if she's going to make it," she said honestly.

She watched him struggle over how to respond, knowing that nothing he offered would make it alright.

"I'm sorry for what you're going through," he said.

"Thanks."

"It must have been horrible... finding her like that."

"It was the single worst moment of my life," Ruby said. "I went round to see her after school because I'd ignored her when she came to see me on Saturday night. I was all settled with a movie and take away pizza. She wanted to hang out but I asked to reschedule. I should have known then that she something was wrong. She took it so meekly, hugged me extra tight and then left. I tried calling her a few times on Sunday but she didn't answer. I thought she was annoyed with me or something so I left it. Then when I hadn't heard from her the next day, I stopped by to say hi. But she was... she was unconscious. I didn't know what to do."

"What did you do?" Xavier asked.

"I panicked. I tried to shake her awake. I kept calling her name because it was like she wasn't even there. She was breathing so weakly and there was blood."

She left out the part where she called Geoff.

"Then I called for an ambulance and... well, you know the rest."

He nodded. A big part of him wanted to know how Geoff had ended up at the hospital but it didn't feel right to ask so he forced himself to ignore the pounding in his heart.


	12. Chapter 12

_In the spirit of New Year (which I'm likely to be sleeping through) and the hope of drowningnotwaving, here is the next instalment of The Waiting Game. Enjoy is not really the right word but I hope you like it. The next chapter should be pretty sweet, I think. I hope. IJKS xxx_

***

**Chapter Twelve**

At three o'clock, Joey arrived at the hospital and headed straight up to the intensive care unit. She washed her hands with the alcohol gel and made her presence known to the nurse. She was pleased to find that the nurse in charge of Charlie was Rebecca again, the same woman who had been kind to her when Angelo was stealing all the communal time. VJ had been sent home from school with a bug so Leah hadn't been able to visit after all but the plan was to come to the hospital at the weekend instead.

"Oh, you've bought a plant," Rebecca said pleasantly.

"Is that okay?"

"It's fine. You can take it in with you. I'll just let Ross and Morag know you've arrived."

Joey smiled gratefully and sat down, clutching her pot plant of white heather. A few minutes later, the door opened and Ross and Morag emerged.

"Hi," Joey said, standing up.

"Hi, Joey," said Morag.

"What a lovely plant," Ross commented. "Is that for Charlie?"

"Yeah, I thought it might cheer her up. The florist... she said that white heather means protection and wishes coming true so I thought..."

"That's lovely, Joey," Morag said.

She patted her gently on the arm as they said their goodbyes. Joey gestured to Rebecca that she was going in and then headed towards Charlie's door. Once again, she was met with a deathly still Charlie surrounded by machines and appliances that were meant to be making her better. She hated having to steel herself for a long recovery. Closing the door behind her, she greeted Charlie with as much cheer as she could muster.

"I brought you some flowers," she told her, offering up the plant as if Charlie could see it and respond.

She saw a vase of flowers on the side and set her own gift beside them. She moved to kiss Charlie's forehead, a ritual she had developed since her first visit.

"How are you feeling today, Charlie?" she asked.

She waited for an answer but nothing came. She sighed and seated herself at the edge of the bed, taking hold of Charlie's hand.

"Well, I hope you're feeling better anyway," she continued. "I'd like to say you're looking better but I guess you won't until you wake up. When will that be? Will you wake up soon? I don't know where your soul is and how you're feeling but if you can hear me or... I don't know. Can't you just realise how loved and needed you are? Can't you just realise that it feels as if the world has stopped spinning right now? If you knew that, you'd find the strength to wake up, wouldn't you? Please wake up, sweetheart. I'll do anything to make you well again."

***

"So, do you want to hang out after school?" Xavier asked as the school day drew to a close.

"I can't," Ruby replied.

His heart sank and his face fell in sheer disappointment. Immediately, jealousy sparked and he wondered if she had made plans with Geoff instead of him.

"It's my time to see Charlie," she explained.

"Oh. Oh, right," he replied, feeling a little better.

"Maybe afterwards?"

He nodded and they began to walk out of school together.

"Hey, um... maybe I could come with you," he suggested hopefully.

She paused, looking and feeling awkward.

"If you want to see her, you can but um... I'd really rather see her by myself," she said.

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. I understand."

And if he was prepared to be rational about it, he would have but her words sent his mind into overdrive. He couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't wanted to be by herself when it happened. Why had Geoff been there? Had he gone in with her that first night? Had he been the one to take care of her and comfort her? But he forced himself to stay quiet. Upsetting her with his paranoia now would only make things worse.

***

"So, when was the last time you saw your girlfriend?"

Angelo grimaced as Robertson approached his desk. His covered his paperwork over and rested his arms on the desk.

"This morning," he said blankly.

"I mean before all this mess she's got herself into."

"Do you mean the coma or being wrongly accused of murdering the man who raped her?" Angelo snapped.

"The coma," Robertson replied, unfazed.

He moved to sit in the opposite chair and studied Angelo's face.

"The last time I saw her awake was Friday," Angelo told him. "I was desperately trying to save my relationship – you know, the one that you tried to destroy for the sake of finding the hero who murdered that disgusting excuse for a human being."

"Oh, so you admire the person who killed him, do you?"

"Obviously it was the wrong thing to do but of all the people in the town, I don't think anyone is going to miss Grant Bledcoe."

"His wife and kids will," Robertson pointed out.

"They're better off without him," Angelo replied.

"Maybe," Robertson said thoughtfully. "So, what was Charlie like when you saw her a week ago?"

"She was devastated," Angelo told him. "She'd lost her daughter, she was a murder suspect, she'd been suspended from a job she loved and then someone decided to make out that her boyfriend was cheating on her. And you and I both know I wasn't."

"I don't know anything."

"Whoever took those photos would have seen me pull my badge out any second. I was interviewing those strippers for a case. Nothing more."

"The secret case you're hiding under your elbows?" Robertson asked with a nod of his head.

"That's none of your business," Angelo said coldly. "I hope you're happy, Robertson. You've turned me into a local hate figure. Again. Everyone thinks that I betrayed Charlie when I didn't. And the only reason she thought I had was because of you. Ruby said that I was responsible for Charlie being in coma but personally, I blame it all on you."

***

"I've read your letter near enough a thousand times," Joey said.

She remained by Charlie's bedside, holding her hand. She stroked her fingers tenderly and felt tears roll down her cheeks.

"I sleep with it. I carry it round with me all day every day. I know it by heart. I'm so sorry for all you've been through, Charlie. I wish... I wish you'd have called me. I understand why you didn't. I ran out on you. I said I'd come back and I didn't. I wanted to. I really did. But I was just so afraid of it not working that I stayed away. And I'm sorry. I should have just faced my fears and come back. I should have taken the risk of getting hurt again. But I just... I didn't think I could take my heart being broken again. But I can't help wondering that if I'd come back... even if you were with Angelo... if I'd come back then maybe we could have worked something out. I might have been able to help you. Charlie, why didn't you write to ask me to talk you out of this? I would have come running. You know that, right? You do know I would have come? Why did you have to wait until it was too late?"

Hearing noise outside the door, Joey brushed her tears away and took a deep breath. A few moments later, Ruby pushed the door open. Joey turned and smiled weakly.

"Hey, are you okay?" Ruby asked gently, heading over to hug her friend.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'll just get out of your hair..." Joey replied, moving to a standing position.

"You don't have to rush off," Ruby said, feeling genuinely worried about her.

"I don't want to spoil your time..."

"You won't be. Let's visit together."

The younger girl smiled and took the other chair. Joey smiled back and sat back down. They took a hand each. Ruby turned her attention to the woman in a coma.

"Hey, Charlie," she said affectionately. "How are you doing today?"

Charlie continued to breathe and machines beeped but there was no other response.

"Still sleepy, hey?" Ruby concluded sadly.

She looked up and saw the two sets of flowers on the bedside table.

"From you?" she asked.

"The pot plant is from me. I guess the other flowers are either from Ross and Morag or Angelo."

"They're both really pretty. I'm sure Charlie will love them when she gets to see them."

Joey hoped so too. Ruby stood and stepped closer to Charlie's head. She stroked her cheek and her hair.

"She's going to be so pissed about the state of her hair," Ruby said, turning to Joey.

Joey chuckled and agreed. Charlie had always been precious about keeping her hair nice. And it always had been. Joey recalled countless times when she had run her fingers through it and breathed in the scent of her shampoo. It was one of the things she missed most.

"I wish we could wash it for her," Ruby sighed, sitting down again.

"Um... maybe we could," Joey said.

Ruby eyed her curiously.

"Well, you can get this dry shampoo stuff," Joey explained. "I used it sometimes on the trawler. It's pretty good. If we got permission from Charlie's Doctor, we could get some and wash her hair, make it shiny again."

Ruby beamed at her.

"Let's ask when we leave!" she said.

"And maybe if we're allowed, we could bring in some of her things from home. We could make her feel a little more comfortable, perhaps. What do you think?"

"I think that's a wonderful idea. Although, I'd be a little nervous going back into her bedroom after... everything."

"I uh... I cleaned it all up and aired it out," Joey said tentatively. "I know that probably won't make it much better but... just so you know. I don't know if it will help."

"It helps."

***

Angelo was just packing up for the day when Watson approached his desk. He couldn't quite read her expression.

"Is it true that Robertson was the one who messed things up between you and Charlie?" she asked.

"He manipulated her into thinking that I'd cheated but I didn't. I swear I didn't. I mean, why would I? When you're lucky enough to be with someone like Charlie, why would anyone look at another person? Why would anyone walk away from her?"

His mind flashed to Joey. Charlie had cheated on her with some guy but he wasn't sure walking out of her life forever was called for. He was glad she had, of course. Otherwise they might still be together now but it was sad for Charlie. He didn't know exactly what had happened between them, how they had felt about each other or how intimate they had been but obviously something with deep feelings had occurred. If it hadn't, Charlie would never have written to her to say goodbye and Joey wouldn't have come running. It made him feel insecure but he was desperately trying to be the best he could be for his girlfriend and focus on her instead of his own jealousy.

"Okay, well, maybe I overreacted," Watson conceded. "It's just that Charlie's my friend and..."

"And I'm not."

"And I'm worried about her," she corrected. "I was there, Angelo. I arrived at the house in time to see her being carried out to the ambulance. I worked the scene. I saw exactly what she did to herself and I can't get it out of my mind."

Angelo nodded. It was bad enough seeing her lying there as if dead in the hospital. He wasn't sure he would have been able to cope if he'd seen her right there, dying all alone.

"It's an impossible situation," he said.

"Do you think she'll make it?" Watson asked.

"I honestly have no idea."


	13. Chapter 13

_Okay, so when I said this was a sweet chapter, I didn't think it all the way through to the end. So, it starts sweet. Sorry I haven't updated anything for a while – time got away from me. I haven't been so well and then um... okay, I admit it. I've been busy building snowmen with my 5 year old nephew! Enjoy. I think. Don't hate me. IJKS xx_

***

**Chapter Thirteen**

Charlie continued to drift through a world without form. She wondered who and where she was. She'd felt very peaceful before and now she felt lost again. All she could see was white nothingness. She had no sense of herself.

***

On Sunday afternoon, Ruby ventured round to her old house. She had been living with Irene, Geoff and Annie for some time and had barely come back to the home she had shared with Charlie, Leah and VJ. And the last time she had been there, she had found Charlie dying in her bedroom. She shuddered a little as she walked through the eerily quiet house and called Joey's name. Joey appeared and they hugged each other hello. Physical contact and reassurance had become important to both of them while they waited for Charlie to wake up.

"I've been sleeping in your room," Joey said shyly. "I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not," said Ruby. "I'm not using it so you may as well."

"Thanks. I just didn't want to... you know."

Ruby nodded, knowing that Joey meant she hadn't wanted to sleep in Charlie's room. That felt wrong on every level.

"Shall we?" Joey suggested.

Ruby followed Joey into her mother's room. She was grateful for the way Joey had tidied it and made it clean of the horror that had happened there.

"Did you get the shampoo?" Ruby asked.

"Yeah, it's in my bag already. Rebecca said we could do it for her today."

"What else shall we take for her?"

Joey looked around the room and sat on the edge of the bed. She picked up the photo of Charlie and Ruby that Charlie had always had by her bed for as long as Joey had known her.

"I reckon she'd like this," she said.

She handed it over to Ruby who didn't quite have it in her grasp before Joey let go. Both girls let out a horrified shriek as the photo frame clattered to the ground. Joey threw herself on the floor to gather up the mess. The back had fallen off but the glass hadn't broken.

"It's fine," she told Ruby who came to kneel beside her.

The younger girl gathered it up.

"Hey," she said softly.

Out of the back of the photo frame, she'd found a small picture of Charlie and Joey. She showed it to her friend. Joey smiled, recalling the day on the boat when Charlie had brought the camera out to prove that she could steer. They'd smiled into the camera like silly teenagers. Charlie had one hand on the steering wheel and one arm around Joey who was resting her head on Charlie's shoulder with her arm around her waist. It had been the day that Joey realised she loved Charlie. It had been the day that had kicked off their turbulent relationship.

"She must have been hiding it behind the other photo," Ruby said.

"Yeah," Joey said softly, touched that in some small way, Charlie had wanted to keep Joey close to her.

Ruby put the whole thing back together again, including slipping the photo of Charlie and Joey behind the main picture of Charlie and Ruby. She placed the frame on the bed.

"What next?" Joey asked, standing up.

"Maybe she'd like some fresh pyjamas," Ruby suggested. "We could ask Rebecca to get her changed."

Joey nodded and began to rummage in Charlie's draws, selecting what she knew was Charlie's favourite set of night clothes.

"And slippers," she said brightly. "When she's able to walk around and stuff, she'd probably like her slippers."

Ruby agreed and collected them from beneath the bed.

***

Angelo was stuck at work in a bad mood. Robertson was sat across from him, going over the case notes concerning Grant's murder. It made him uncomfortable to know that Charlie's attempted suicide was part of the case. Robertson still held her as his number one suspect and he didn't look like he was going to let this or anything go any time soon. Angelo was just glad he hadn't been interrogated yet.

***

Joey and Ruby arrived at two o'clock on the dot in order to visit Charlie together. Ruby had already gone to see her earlier in the morning and was now sharing a visit with Joey before she left her mother's ex-girlfriend to it. Angelo was due to arrive at four.

"Hey, Charlie," Ruby said gently, immediately approaching the bed and kissing her cheek. "We brought you some shampoo. Your nurse said we could wash your hair. Is that okay? Would you like that? We thought it might make you feel better. Joey's here."

Ruby gestured for Joey to come to the other side of the bed. She did so and kissed Charlie's forehead as usual. Rebecca knocked gently and came in, ready to help them carry out their plan.

"Ready?" she asked.

Joey and Ruby nodded. Rebecca slowly operated the bed so that Charlie was slightly tilted.

"Okay, you need to hold her like this," Rebecca explained, taking Charlie into her arms so that her lifeless body was leaning forward but securely.

"Joey, you look stronger so maybe you should..."

Joey stepped forward and accepted her dear Charlie into her arms. She held her close and lovingly, shaking a little as she fretted over hurting or dropping her. Ruby stepped forward with the shampoo, tipping a little into her hand in order to begin massaging it into Charlie's hair. Rebecca stood back and watched. She needed to be on hand to help but she didn't want to get in the way unless she had to.

***

Geoff walked along the beach in a world of his own. He apologised quickly when he collided with someone. He apologised again when he saw it was Xavier.

"Are you okay?" the younger boy asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," said Geoff. "I was just daydreaming."

Xavier tensed, wondering what, or perhaps more specifically who Geoff had been thinking so deeply about. He would bet anyone a thousand dollars that it had something to do with Ruby.

"Anything exciting?" he asked.

"No," he replied. "Just got a lot on my mind."

Then he hurried away from him.

***

Joey held Charlie close and careful as Ruby worked her hands through her hair. They both felt good to be doing something nice for her. Both secretly hoped that Charlie somehow knew what was happening, that somewhere deep inside herself, she realised she was loved.

"Joey, are you going to stick around when Charlie wakes up?" Ruby asked.

Joey's heart was pounding all the while she felt Charlie so close to her. She was nervous of doing something wrong and distraught that they were so close and yet Charlie knew nothing about it.

"I'll be here for as long as she needs me to be," Joey told her.

"And if that's forever?"

"Then I guess I'll have to find a place to live and a job to pay for it."

"You'll really stick around for her? I mean, what if she stays with Angelo?"

"I presume she will," Joey said sadly.

With Charlie in such a fragile state, she doubted that she would be up to coming out with her, even if she wanted to. Privately, Joey hoped for the best but she was steeling herself to have to see Charlie and Angelo together in the future.

"And you're okay with that?"

"Well, obviously in a perfect world, I'd want Charlie to be with me. But right now, I'll happily settle for her just being awake."

Ruby nodded in understanding. She was internally battling with whether she wanted Charlie to be her mother or her sister but like Joey, all she truly wanted was for her to pull through the state she'd got herself into.

"What about you?" Joey asked.

Ruby paused in her hair washing technique.

"What do you mean?"

"Will you move back home to be with her?"

Ruby continued her work.

"Yes," she said. "I think I will."

***

Robertson sat at his desk, wondering where he ought to turn next. Grant Bledcoe had been stabbed at the fish market and dragged onto the beach. Ruby Buckton worked at the fish market but she would never be strong enough to drag the body without an accomplice. Charlie Buckton had been raped and forced to conceive a baby – Ruby – by Grant. She was an obvious choice as a suspect. However, she was a good cop with hardly a blemish on her record. She was a bright woman – why would she be so dumb as to commit a crime she would so obviously be caught for? And what role did her attempted suicide play in all of this? What had been going through her mind? And if she was innocent, who else was guilty? Her boyfriend, Angelo was already a killer. Everyone knew that. Had he stepped in and made a violent bid to protect his girlfriend? But again, why would he risk everything he had only just built back up? Then there was Charlie's father, Ross. But he was living in a care home suffering from Alzheimer's. How likely was that? And Robertson didn't feel inclined to accuse his wife, Morag. Surely it had to be one of them? But which one?

***

Charlie felt as if she were floating on a cloud. She felt comforted and loved but she knew not who by. She couldn't see or hear anyone or anything and yet she felt safer than she ever had before. Through the whiteness, she searched for the source of her love.

***

Joey and Ruby sat on either side of Charlie's bed as Rebecca moved it back into place.

"Do you think she looks pretty?" Ruby asked the nurse.

"Very," Rebecca replied sweetly. "You've both done a really good job for her. I'm sure she'll be grateful when she wakes up and realises what good care she's received from the people she loves."

Ruby beamed at her.

"Oh!" she said, causing Rebecca to pause at the door. "We brought pyjamas."

Joey dug them out of her bag and offered them up to the nurse.

"Would you be able to put them on her later?" she asked.

"Of course. Just leave them there and I'll do it when I get a chance."

The girls thanked her and she left the room. Charlie and Ruby sat on either side of the bed, taking on of Charlie's hands each.

"Hey, Charlie, we brought you some things," Ruby almost whispered.

Joey picked up the bag they'd brought. Ruby listed everything in turn as Joey took them out. They placed the slippers beneath her bed, ready for her to step right into them and they put the photograph next to the flowers on the bedside table. They had added her teddy bear at the last minute and tucked it in beside her as she slept.

"I hope you like them all," Joey told Charlie. "We thought they might make you more comfortable. You might feel happier to wake up if you have your things around you."

***

Aden lay down on the weight lifting bench beside the one Geoff was using. They worked out in silence for a few moments.

"So, what's up with you?" Aden finally asked.

"What do you mean what's up with me? Nothing's up with me," Geoff denied.

"It's Ruby, right?"

"What? Nothing."

Aden put his weights back in the holder and sat up.

"You're upset because Ruby's still with Xavier," he said matter-of-factly. "And you want her to be with you."

Geoff hung up his own weights and turned angrily to Aden.

"Don't be ridiculous!" he snapped.

Aden was unmoved.

"Ruby and I are just friends," Geoff added.

"I know. That's the problem."

Geoff tried and failed to respond, letting his mouth hang open with an annoyed expression on his face.

"Why are you here?" he eventually demanded.

"Just working out."

"Then why are you bugging me?"

"You bug me often enough!" Aden argued.

"I do not!"

"Look, I wouldn't worry too much about the Ruby thing. Joey told me that when she arrived at the hospital that first day, you two were so close you looked like a couple. So I doubt very much if your feelings are one sided."

***

Joey pulled her chair closer to the head of Charlie's bed and she retained contact with her hand. Ruby had left her alone for the final hour before Angelo was due to show up. Joey kissed Charlie's cheek and then laid her head on the space between herself and Charlie's resting form.

"I hope you feel more comfortable now, Charlie," she said softly. "Maybe it's nice enough in here that you might want to wake up and be part of it. I hope so. And I hope that wherever you are, you know how loved you are. All of us are so desperate for you to pull through this. We all need you in our different ways."

She kissed Charlie's lips for the briefest moment and then laid her head back down, watching as her tears wet the sheets.

"I hope you wake up, Charlie. And I hope you wake up during visiting hours so that you won't be alone. I'd hate for you to wake up alone. The best thing that could happen would be if you woke up with Ruby. I've never seen anyone love their family like she loves you. And whether you're mother or sister to her, you're her everything. I've been trying to take care of her, be there for her... And she'd got Irene and Geoff too. We're all supporting her the way you'd want us to but nothing we can do can match what you can give her. She'll come home when you wake up, she said. You two can be a family again. Please wake up. Please wake up for her... with her."

***

Angelo finished his shift and drove quickly over to the hospital to see Charlie for the couple of hours left before the hospital closed to visits. He parked and climbed out, bracing himself for the difficult few hours spent watching his girlfriend deteriorate. He hoped that Charlie knew, deep down, that he loved her and that he never would have betrayed her. All he could dream was that she would wake up in order for him to make things right with her. He would never forgive himself if he lost her like this. Jumping in the lift, he travelled the few floors to the intensive care unit. He offered Rebecca a brief wave and headed towards Charlie's room. Opening the door, he stopped to find Joey resting her head beside Charlie's and clutching her hand as she cried. He stiffened and swallowed.

"How is she?" he managed.

Joey looked up a little startled. The time had got away from her as she sobbed and chattered away to Charlie, begging her to live for Ruby. During her time with Charlie, Rebecca had come in to change her clothes. Joey had stepped out for a few minutes and then gone back in to resume her position and ramblings.

"She's pretty much the same," she said.

Standing up, she instinctively kissed Charlie's forehead and began to move away. Angelo flinched with anger. He didn't want Joey's lips anywhere on his girlfriend's face. Charlie wasn't Joey's to kiss anymore. He fought his feelings and stepped forward. He took Charlie's other hand and kissed her lips on purpose.

"See you later," Joey said, grabbing her bag in order to depart.

"Wait," Angelo said suddenly.

Joey turned back, wondering what was on his mind.

"What's happened to her hair?

"Oh," Joey said, smiling brightly. "Ruby and I washed her hair. We thought..."

"How dare you!" Angelo bellowed, making Joey jump.

"What...?"

"How dare you touch her like that? She's not yours to touch!"

"But we..."

"Who even said you could wash her hair?"

"It was a dry wash," Joey said quickly. "Rebecca said we could. We thought it'd be nice for her to wake up with clean hair."

"And what's all this?" he asked, referring to the photograph and the teddy bear.

He hadn't spotted the slippers tucked under the bed yet.

"We thought she should have some of her own things here," Joey said, forcing herself to remain calm in the face of Angelo's angry jealousy.

"Well aren't you Little Miss Perfect?" he snapped, his eyes cold. "Coming running the moment you knew she was in trouble, being Ruby's best buddy, bringing her stuff in, making her pretty. Aren't you just fan-fucking-tastic?"

Joey swallowed and stepped back a little.

"I'm not trying to be anything..."

"Like hell you aren't!" he yelled. "You're trying to steal her away from me. I know it. But she doesn't want you anymore, Joey. She's with me. If she wanted you, she wouldn't have slept with that guy behind your back and she would have made you stay. When you left, she was relieved because she already knew she didn't love you. And I don't know what the hell she said in that letter but it doesn't mean she wants you here now. She felt bad about hurting you and she was probably writing because she needed to apologise, not because she wanted you to run back here and try and get back with her."

His words stung but Joey remained firm. On the bed, Charlie went pale. Her heart hammered in her chest but neither visitor knew it.

"I don't care what you think," she said, a little more calmly. "And I'm not going to tell an angry little man intimidate me. I'm Charlie's friend and whether you like it or not, she and I were in love once and I'm sticking around until I know she's safe."

"Yeah and you're trying to win her back in the process!"

Charlie continued to struggle in silence. Angelo looked down at her but only noticed her new pyjamas.

"What the hell is this?" he snapped.

"New pyjamas," Joey told him as if he were an idiot.

"You changed her clothes?" he yelled, his fury increasing.

"Rebecca did. We just brought them in."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "No, you leave now! You don't come near Charlie again. It's not your place to change her clothes and wash her hair, to bring her stuff in and snuggle up close during your visits. You don't belong here!"

Charlie's heart monitor began beeping but their shouts were too loud and their rage too strong for them to hear it.

"I belong here just as much as you do!" Joey argued.

"No you don't!" shouted Angelo, angrily picking up her plant pot and smashing it onto the floor.

Charlie's heart monitor went crazy as their beloved fought for her life. Both Charlie and Angelo rushed to her side, both calling her name desperately. Rebecca was in the room in an instant. She looked at the mess.

"What the hell happened?" she demanded, hurrying over and pushing Angelo out of the way.

"We..." he began.

She dismissed them both and pressed the emergency alarm. Medical staff flew into the room. A nurse guided both Angelo and Joey outside into the waiting room, closing the door on them as they focussed on keeping Charlie alive.


	14. Chapter 14

Apologies for it being a day later – especially to Drowningnotwaving! Hope it's worth the wait. IJKS xxx

**Chapter Fourteen**

Minutes felt like hours as Joey perched on the edge of the plastic chair outside Charlie's room. Angelo paced the length of the small corridor in an agitated fashion. Her ran his hands through his hair and fought tears. Joey held her own head in her hands and studied a spot on the floor where shoes had scuffed it. What was happening to Charlie? And why was it taking so long?

***

Xavier approached Irene's house and knocked on the door. He could hear movement inside but nobody came so he knocked again. Opening the door, he entered the small kitchen and stopped when he saw Geoff chasing Ruby around the living room. They were laughing and carried away with themselves. Xavier immediately saw red.

"Xave!" Ruby said cheerfully, the moment she realised he was there.

They stopped running and frowned at the way he was glaring at them.

"What's going on?" he demanded.

"Oh, I was being miserable and Geoff was cheering me up by..."

"Yeah, I bet he was!" Xavier snapped.

"What?" Ruby asked in confusion.

Geoff remained silent.

"Why don't you just stop stringing me along? This isn't fair!"

He turned and left before either of them could respond.

***

Joey jumped up out of her seat when the door to Charlie's room finally opened. Angelo stopped pacing. Everyone filed out, leaving Rebecca to appear last, looking stressed.

"Is she okay?" Joey and Angelo asked in unison.

"She's stable again," Rebecca explained, coming to sit beside Joey on the chair.

Angelo stood in front of them and waited.

"Charlie had a small heart attack," Rebecca explained. "We don't know what caused it but we'll be running some tests tomorrow and keeping a closer eye on her heart."

"What does that mean? Is she...? Does she have a heart problem? Will she have problems when she wakes up or...?" Joey asked worriedly.

Rebecca sighed.

"Charlie is very poorly. There's no guarantee that she ever will wake up. And we don't know how things might improve or deteriorate at any point. She's in a very vulnerable position. I'm sorry."

Joey wiped her eyes quickly.

"But she's okay right now?" she asked.

"Yes, she's stable now. What happened in there today?"

Joey and Angelo hung their heads.

"We argued," Joey admitted. "We didn't mean to. It just kind of happened."

"I'll go and clean the pot plant up in a moment and then you can go back in," Rebecca said. "I know you're all under a lot of stress right now. You're all worried. But please, you need to remain calm in there. If you need to shout then do it out here away from her."

Joey nodded. Angelo sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. Rebecca smiled sympathetically and headed off to retrieve a dustpan and brush.

"Rebecca!" Joey suddenly called out.

The nurse turned back to her.

"If Charlie got stressed because we were arguing, doesn't that mean she's aware of us?"

"I really don't know," Rebecca said. "It wouldn't be fair of me to comment."

"But it's possible?" Joey said, standing up. "It's possible that she can hear us or sense us or something?"

"I really don't know, Joey. I'm sorry."

"Please?" Joey begged.

Angelo hung on their every word. Rebecca sighed.

"Joey, I'd like to think that Charlie has an awareness. But there's no medical evidence to support that. I really don't want to give you false hope."

Joey nodded and thanked her. Angelo began to pace again.

***

Ruby's mood was broken again after a temporary lapse into enjoyment. Sinking onto the couch, she curled up into a ball, wondering what to do about Xavier. Geoff came to sit beside her.

"What's his problem?" he asked.

"He's jealous of me being friends with you," Ruby admitted.

"That's just silly," Geoff objected.

Ruby's heart sank. For him to object so quickly meant that he probably didn't feel anything more for her than friendship.

"I'm going to go for a walk," she told him, hurrying out of the door.

***

"You can go in now," Rebecca told them carrying a bag for of Joey's broken plant out with her.

Both Joey and Angelo moved to the door but Angelo clutched the handle and turned to his rival.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked. "This is my time now, according to the schedule."

"I'm not even allowed to see her for a second after...?"

"After you nearly killed her? No."

He entered the room and shut the door in her face. Joey stormed out of the hospital in tears.

***

Xavier walked past Martha and Hugo and headed straight into his room. He threw himself down on the bed and sank into his pillow. How could Ruby betray him like this? And how could she be so dishonest about it? What did Geoff Campbell have that he didn't? Lifting himself up, he looked at the photo of his girlfriend that he'd framed and put on the bedside table. He picked it up and stared at Ruby's beautiful face. Rationally, he knew that Ruby and Geoff could easily have been innocently messing around. But why did she feel able to do that with Geoff and with Xavier, all she could do was close up and be unhappy?. And still it bothered him that Geoff had been the person at the hospital with her. Surely she should have called her boyfriend? He should have been the one to comfort her. But ever since Martha and Hugo had refused to let Ruby stay with them after everything with Charlie kicked off the first time around, and Ruby had travelled to the city with Geoff, things hadn't been the same. She barely got in touch and it seemed like it was a hassle to be around him. Being with Geoff, however, appeared to be the easiest thing in the world. Bitterly, Xavier hurled the frame across the room. It hit the wall and fell to the floor. Immediately, he leapt up and attempted to rescue it. But the glass was smashed into tiny pieces.

***

Joey wasn't ready to go home yet. She and Leah had planned to have a curry that night with all the trimmings. Joey delayed her journey by heading to the beach. She was furious over Angelo's treatment of her and desperately worried about Charlie. The woman she loved was completely broken and it seemed like she would never be healed. Every day, Joey and her loved ones had lived in hope but now that hope was fading. Stepping onto the sand, she looked out to sea but for the first time in her life, the water couldn't calm her. It all seemed so frustratingly passive, sitting around and waiting for Charlie to live or die. Couldn't the hospital force her awake? Couldn't they operate on her or give her the right medication and just make her better? Why was she still in a coma? Why couldn't anything be done? She was about to sink down onto the ground when she spotted the familiar form of Ruby up ahead. Immediately, she made her way over.

"Hey," the older girl said softly, sitting beside her.

Ruby immediately sank into Joey's arms and wept. Silently, Joey held her and attempted to psyche herself up and tell her what had happened.

***

Charlie looked even paler than usual when Angelo sat beside her. She looked so frail and even closer to death than she had been an hour previously. He sighed, knowing that if she was awake now, she'd be yelling at him for shouting at Joey and then not letting her back into the room. Part of him was sure he was behaving terribly but he desperately needed to be close to her. He wanted to be the person she woke up to and he needed to know that she loved him. A little voice in the back of his mind was full of questions that threatened to shatter his illusions about their romance and relationship. It had been such a big deal for Charlie to love him again and to be seen with him after all that had gone on. And she'd had her heart broken in her previous relationship, her relationship with Joey and now he wondered if she'd ever really healed from that or if he had been a means of getting over the person she really loved. He tried to tell himself over and over again that Charlie only wrote to Joey in order to make amends for how she had treated her but a bigger part of him was terrified that it meant she loved her most. And if she did, if Charlie woke up to find Joey had come all this way, might she dump him in order to be with her again? Who would Charlie be when she woke up, if she ever woke up at all?

***

"Why are you sad?" Ruby asked, noticing Joey's sombre expression.

Immediately she began to worry.

"Has something happened to Charlie?"

Ruby had tearfully explained that she felt completely lost about her relationship with Xavier. The more she thought about it, the more she was aware that she wasn't in love with him anymore and that she had been developing real feelings for Geoff. But now, she was concerned about her mother.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Charlie um... she, uh... she had a small heart attack."

"What?" Ruby shrieked, leaping to her feet.

Joey reached out and gently pulled her back down again.

"She's okay," she said. "They stabilised her and Angelo's in with her now."

"What happened? Why did she...?"

Joey sighed and looked down at the sand.

"It was our fault," she admitted. "Mine and Angelo's."

"Your fault?" Ruby asked, bewildered.

"We were arguing," Joey explained. "We were yelling at each other across her bed and she... I guess she was stressed and her heart just..."

Tears began to flow.

"You two hurt Charlie?" Ruby accused in disbelief.

"We didn't mean to. It just... it got out of control. I am so sorry, Ruby. I'll never forgive myself for this."

"Whose fault was it?" Ruby asked.

She desperately wanted to blame it all on Angelo. She loved Joey too much to be angry with her, especially not now.

"It was both of ours," Joey said. "I can't remember how it started."

Ruby eyed her curiously, wondering how much truth she was telling. Joey turned, her eyes wide and wet and silently pleaded with her for forgiveness. Ruby responded by putting her arm around Joey's shoulders, offering comfort. She could hardly imagine how it must have felt to see Charlie like that, especially after such a vigil and so many things unresolved.

"They're going to do some tests on her tomorrow," Joey said. "To see where she's at. And Rebecca told me not to cling to it but, Ruby, if she had a heart attack in response to our fight then surely she's really in there somewhere? Surely she knows what's going on around her, at least to some degree?"

Ruby's heart leapt at the thought.

"Do you think so?" she asked.

"I really do. Perhaps if we all keep talking to her, trying to bring her around then it might work? If she can hear us or feel us or whatever... maybe there's still a chance."


	15. Chapter 15

_I tried to post this early for you, Drowningnotwaving but the website wasn't working. Do I still get the jaffa cakes!?_

_Thank you to every single person who reads this story – especially those who take the time to review – I know it's not the easiest fanfic to read due to the subject matter. I personally have spent more time visiting hospitals in the last twelve months than I care to even think about so this story has actually kind of taken on a new meaning for me and it has become harder to write but I hope you all continue to go with it and enjoy it as best you can. There will be some rough times ahead but I hope you appreciate the journey the characters have been on. And yes, to everyone who keeps asking, you will find out what Charlie wrote to Joey very soon. Love IJKS xxx_

***

**Chapter Fifteen**

Having walked Ruby to Xavier's house so that the teenager could talk everything through with her boyfriend, Joey headed on home. She and Leah had settled on tonight to have their takeaway and Joey was very much looking forward to Chinese food and a bottle of wine with her friend. They had got to know each other pretty well when she'd lived there before and Joey had never let her leave the house without breakfast, even if she ate it on the way to work. A rush of feelings would hit her whenever Joey thought about that time. She'd been so happy with Charlie and she'd felt part of a family for the only time in her life. But she was painfully aware that for the last week of their time together, Charlie had been lying to her. Still, so much had happened now that she didn't much care about any of it. There was a time when she had believed that she could never forgive Charlie for betraying her but now, she was more than ready to let it all go. Her love for Charlie overrode the bad feelings and the difficulties they had. All she wanted was for Charlie to be alive and well and happy and whatever role she was allowed to play in her life, she was willing, although she knew that watching Charlie and Angelo from the sidelines would be excruciating. She hoped that if Charlie loved Angelo the most and wanted to be with him, she would at least be kind enough to grant Joey permission to leave. Still, the first thing that needed to happen was for Charlie to wake up and that was what they all needed to concentrate on now.

***

Ruby and Xavier sat at the kitchen table, sipping juices and remaining silent. Her boyfriend was cold, bordering on hostile and she wasn't sure if she blamed him or pitied him.

"What happened to your finger?" she asked, nodding towards the plaster on his index.

"I broke a glass," he said. "I cut myself when I was trying to clean it up."

"Oh."

They gazed at each other across the table.

***

Angelo left the hospital and drove towards the Surf Club instead of home. He needed a nice, cold beer and to forget about the world. Charlie would be seriously criticising his alcohol intake at present, if she were awake. He was constantly trying to drown his sorrows. But of course, if she was awake then he wouldn't need to drink. His only job would be to convince her that he loved her and wanted to be with her and that he had never touched another woman since they had made their commitment to each other. If Charlie was awake, he wouldn't be currently feeling so threatened by Joey. A week ago, the deckhand had been nothing but a potential threat. She'd been the woman who had stolen his girlfriend's heart and he knew that it was likely she would always have feelings for her. But she'd been gone. Charlie had slept with someone behind her back amid her confusion about her sexuality and Joey had taken off. She had sailed far away and not returned when she said she would, which probably not so coincidentally coincided with Charlie getting together with him. But now she was here. She was best buddies with Ruby, she hung out with Aden and Leah and she got along well with Ross and Morag. More and more, he was becoming the outsider in a situation he had no idea how to handle.

***

Leah opened the wine and she and Joey tucked into their meal. VJ was safely upstairs in bed and they had the night to chat.

"Leah, what was Charlie like the last time you saw her?" Joey asked.

Leah hesitated for a moment before she spoke up.

"She was normal – or so I thought. I feel like I should have known but I didn't. I knew she was stressed out. She thought Angelo was cheating on her and she'd bee suspended from work. I don't need to tell you how much she loves her job, do I?"

Joey shook her head, no.

"So, you saw her on the Monday, did you?"

"No," Leah said. "The last time I saw her was ever so briefly to say goodnight on Sunday. It was only for a few minutes. She was subdued but she just seemed tired more than anything and it was pretty late. The last time I spent real time with her was on the Saturday when she took me over to Morag's in order to witness her will."

It was something Leah still felt guilty about, still sure that she should have worked out Charlie's plans then and if she had, she would have been able to save her. She told Joey as much. Her friend was quick to reassure her that she couldn't have known.

"People make wills every day," she said. "It doesn't mean they're planning on dying."

"I know but..."

Leah trailed off.

"I thought Charlie already had a will anyway," Joey said. "She told me that she took one out as soon as she started on the force. Just in case."

"Yeah, she did," said Leah. "But on Saturday, she wanted to change it."

Joey nodded and took a bite of her meal.

"She wanted to put you in it," Leah dared.

Joey looked up sharply and swallowed some rice without meaning to, making herself cough. She sipped her water.

"She put me into her will?" she asked.

"Yes," Leah said. "She left three quarters of everything she had to Ruby and the last quarter was to be left for you. She said that she needed to make sure you were okay and that she wanted to do some small thing to make everything up to you, even if she was gone. She said something about wanting to help you buy a boat?"

Joey smiled sadly.

"I'd give up everything I had if it would make her well again," she said. "She's so sweet for including me but I... I wouldn't want her money. I just want her."

She glanced at Leah self consciously.

"I mean I want her to be well. I wouldn't try and take her away from..."  
"Joey, this is me. I think it's a given that you're still in love with her. And it's okay. Nobody's judging you for it."

"Angelo is!" Joey remarked.

Leah eyed her curiously, prompting her to explain what had happened earlier in the day.

***

"So, is this the part where you dump me?" Xavier asked scathingly.

"Well, I was hoping we could talk like adults actually," Ruby snapped back.

Xavier shrugged and sipped his drink.

"So talk," he challenged.

"Why did you walk out before? What was I doing that was so wrong?"

"Fooling around with Geoff!"

"Not like that!" Ruby protested. "He was just trying to cheer me up and make me laugh. That's all."

"You like him," he accused.

She swallowed and turned her glass in circles on the table top.

"There's nothing going on between Geoff and I," she said evenly.

"Yeah, right. There's more going on with him than there is with me!"

"Xavier, I love you. I just... I'm not in love with you anymore," Ruby said tearfully.

"How can you just change like that?" he asked. "One minute we were so close that we slept together and now... It's like you've gone through this huge trauma and left me behind."

"I didn't mean to."

"You could have done it differently, Ruby. You could have turned to me. You could have cared. You could have remembered me instead of always shutting me out."

"I did turn to you first," Ruby reminded him. "If I'd have been allowed to stay with you in the first place, none of this might have happened."

"Oh, so it's my fault now? The fact that you ran away with another guy, that you never got in touch, that you didn't even let me know when you got home and that you've constantly shut me out ever since," Xavier said. "That's my fault?"

Ruby sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry," she managed.

"You keep saying that but the thing is, I know you're not. You're dumping me and you're happy about it. Otherwise, you wouldn't be doing it. There was a time when I thought you were the most amazing girl in the world. I thought you were beautiful and funny and caring. I thought I would be the luckiest guy in the world to get to spend my life with you. But now," he said, standing up. "Now, I just think you're cruel."

He walked to the door and opened it, making it very clear that he wanted her to leave. Tearfully, she got to her feet and hurried out of the house.

***

"Mate, I think you might have had enough," Alf said worriedly to the policeman at the bar.

Angelo looked up slowly. The alcohol had taken effect but rather than lairy, it was making him sleepy and slurred. He yawned, closed his eyes and nodded, clambering to his feet.

"I think I'll be able to sleep at least tonight," he said.

"Is everything alright?" Alf asked. "I mean, dumb question; I know it's not. But, are things worse or something?"

"Charlie had a heart attack," Angelo said.

"Is she...?"

"She's okay. They saved her but... they don't know if they can keep saving her. And the thing is, it was my fault."

Alf furrowed his brow.

"How was it your fault?" he asked.

Angelo sat back down on his stool.

"Joey and I were fighting and the heart attack was down to stress or something," he explained.

Alf sighed. He was far from Angelo's biggest fan but he couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy.

"I guess sometimes you can't help arguing with someone," he said.

Angelo nodded.

"Alf, do you know Joey?" he asked.

"Not amazingly well but yeah, I know her. She worked for me for about half a day."

"Half a day?"

"She was having a lot of problems. She told me she was sick and had to leave but actually it was because she'd been threatened by the guy that... you know."

"What?"

"The guy that had... um... hurt her a week or so before."

"She was hurt?"

"Yeah. It's not really my place to say though."

Angelo nodded thoughtfully.

"Did you know her when she and Charlie were together?"

"It wasn't common knowledge until Joey's brother trashed Charlie's car in protest but yeah, I guess I must have done."

"Her brother?"

"Brett Collins."

Angelo frowned and nodded, remembering the lowlife who had knocked Charlie down with his car. That was how all this mess had started in the first place.

"Did you see them together?" he asked.

"Like I said, it wasn't common knowledge but a few weeks before it all kicked off, Joey hired my boat for the day. She said she wanted to take Charlie out to thank her for everything she'd done for her. I don't know if they were an item then but they were pretty much inseparable. You never saw one without the other. Retrospectively, Joey was pretty smitten."

"How could she not be, hey?"

"Charlie's a lovely woman," Alf agreed.

"So, they went out for a romantic day on your boat, did they?"

"I don't know if it was romantic but..."

Angelo looked up sharply. Suddenly he realised why Charlie hadn't wanted to go on a boat with him when he'd made all that effort. He'd thought it would be a nice, romantic thing to do but she'd protested and got hit by Brett's car. Obviously, she associated boats with Joey. He sighed.

"Do you think they were in love?" he asked.

"It's not for me to say really."

"But Joey was smitten and Charlie was...?"

"I'd say she was pretty smitten too. I was surprised when we all heard what had happened with Hugo."

"Hugo?" Angelo said.

Charlie had never told him exactly who she had gone off with behind Joey's back and he was horrified to find out the truth.

"You didn't know?" Alf asked worriedly.

"I knew it was some guy," Angelo explained. "She never named names."

"Sorry," Alf apologised.

"Do you think they still love each other?"

Alf sighed.

"I don't know," he said. "I've never talked to either of them about it. I don't think that kind of thing goes away, to be completely honest with you. But I also know that Charlie wouldn't be with you if she didn't love you. She took a huge risk by being seen with you, to let you into her life. Joey was a big part of her life and she obviously still cares for Charlie or she wouldn't have hurried back when she knew she was in trouble. I'm guessing you're feeling threatened by her presence but at the end of the day, Charlie's in a coma and fighting for her life. Perhaps you need to forget what's gone on in the past and what Joey feels or doesn't feel, and focus on Charlie. You love her, don't you?"

"Very much."

"Then I think you need to prove it by being there for her. You can deal with all these issues when she wakes up and she can speak for herself. But right now, all of you, all of us, need to just love her, take care of her and wish her well. Don't let jealousies and paranoia get in the way of what's really important."

Angelo nodded thoughtfully. He stood up and looked at Alf directly.

"Thanks," he said. "I think you're right."

He offered the Summer Bay stalwart a smile and headed towards home.

***

Robertson sat alone in his office. His shift was over but he couldn't go home. The case was too frustrating for him to settle. Who had murdered that evil rapist? Who had tried to bring about justice of their own? And how bad must things have been in Senior Constable Buckton's world, for her to put herself in a coma?

***

Ruby arrived home and hurried to her room. Breaking up with Xavier had been hard and she felt sick with grief. Although she knew it was the right thing to do, she felt terrible about it. Xavier was the first boy she had ever loved. She'd lost her virginity to him and believed that they would always be together. But now it was over and she hated to think that she had been cruel to him. She loved him. It just wasn't enough. She turned when there was a knock on her door.

"Yes?"

Geoff poked his head round the door and smiled with a mix of cheer and anxiety.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Fine," she lied.

"Did you sort things out with Xavier?"

"Yeah. We broke up."

Geoff heart did a little flip but he forced himself to remain sombre, as was appropriate for the occasion.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. It was the right thing. And it's been a long time coming. But... it's still sad."

He nodded and moved further into the room. Suddenly, she burst into tears. He hurried forward and gathered her into his arms. She was only too aware that he was only wearing some pyjama bottoms and she was clutched to his bare chest.

"He thought there was something going on between you and I," Ruby ventured, looking at his face.

"Oh, well that's just... um... that's just...."

Spontaneously, she closed the gap between them and pressed her lips against his. Once he'd recovered from feeling startled, he kissed her back. They drew away shyly, both blushing. Silence descended on them and neither knew what to do or say.

"Well, um... goodnight," Geoff said, backing out the door.

***

Watson moaned in frustration as she lay in the dark, looking at the glimmer of moonlight outside the window. It seemed like every night when she tried to sleep, all she could see was Charlie, lying there, almost cold on her bed, broken and bleeding. The Senior Constable had always been the person that Watson looked up to, the kind of cop she aspired to be. She was feisty and strong, she was amazing at her job and she was a good person. There was no way she ever should have found herself in this position. It wasn't fair. The community that she worked so hard to serve and protect, had completely let her down. Watson included herself firmly in that group of people.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

Ross and Morag sat in the waiting room. It was past ten o'clock but Charlie had spent the morning having tests and the Doctor wasn't quite done yet. All Ross could worry about was that they might be hurting her. It was the worst possible day not to be allowed to see her straight away. They had received a phone call the previous day to say that Charlie had suffered a heart attack but that she was alright now, although still unconscious. Holding hands, they looked up sharply when Charlie's door opened. The Doctor and Rebecca exited. While the Doctor hurried off to his office, Rebecca approached them with a smile. They stood up.

"How is she?" Morag asked.

"The test results will come back later today and I will call you as soon as we hear anything," Rebecca promised.

"And after the uh... the..."

Ross mind went blank.

"Her heart isn't in distress anymore," Rebecca said. "It was a momentary thing."

"What caused it?" Morag asked.

"Um... a couple of people were arguing in Charlie's room," Rebecca said awkwardly, not wanting to get into trouble. "It appears to have stressed her out."

"Who?" Ross demanded. "It was that Angelo, wasn't it?"

He had always known the police officer would be no good for his beloved daughter.

"Angelo and Joey."

Both parents sighed.

"What the hell happened?" Morag asked.

"I don't know the ins and outs," Rebecca said. "Just that there was a row. Someone smashed a plant pot. And Charlie's heart began to fail. But I did give them both a talking to and I doubt very much that it'll happen again. And she's okay. She's stable again now."

Morag nodded and thanked the nurse, taking Ross by the hand and bringing him in to see his daughter.

***

Leah made Robertson's cappuccino swiftly. She didn't know how she felt about him anymore. He was good looking and charming and he genuinely seemed to like her but he had accused Charlie of murder and suspended her and that was one of the central reasons that she had wanted to die. He watched her work and tried to catch her eye. She kept her head down and didn't speak. Sighing in frustration, Robertson took a deep breath.

"Leah, I need to ask you to come down to the station," he said.

She looked up sharply and nearly dropped his drink.

"What? Why?"

"You're likely to be the last person who saw Charlie before she attempted suicide. I need you to walk me through that last meeting."

"Suicide isn't a crime," Leah snapped, banging his coffee down on the table.

"No, but murder is and I need to ascertain if Charlie attempted to end her life because she was hiding a big, guilty secret," Robertson said.

If Leah wasn't going to talk to him in a personal capacity then he had to spend time with her professionally. He had to make her understand that he wasn't a bad guy. He was just a cop dealing with the hard evidence in front of him.

"She didn't," Leah said firmly.

"Will you come and say that on record?" Robertson asked.

"Do I have a choice?"

***

At lunch time, Ross and Morag headed home. The visit had been shorter than usual and at every moment, they were hoping for news. Then, just as they had been about to leave, Rebecca had caught up with them. Taking them into a relative's room, they'd sat down with her and Doctor who had grimly explained that Charlie's body was failing. It wasn't fighting back against all its trauma and the Doctor could only conclude that this was a period of time to wait before they lost her rather than before she woke up.

"We'll ring the others when we get home," Morag said, concentrating on the road ahead of her.

***

Ruby was at the Diner with Joey, Aden and Geoff when her phone rang. She leapt up as if she had been shot and answered without looking at the caller ID. She was always desperate for news of Charlie.

"Hello?" she said hurriedly.

Everyone at the table unashamedly listened to her conversation and concluded that it was Morag.

"Yeah, Joey's here with me now," Ruby said.

Joey tensed, worrying that she was in trouble for her argument with Angelo – not that she didn't feel she deserved reprimand.

"We'll be right over."

Hanging up, Ruby looked at her friends' expectant faces.

"Morag and Ross need us round right away," she said worriedly to Joey.

Joey clasped Ruby's hand and they stood up.

"We'll cancel your orders," Geoff told them.

Nodding gratefully, the girls hurried away.

***

Angelo sat at his desk, wondering why Robertson was interviewing Leah and what she was saying. He had no doubt that the conversation was about Charlie and he wanted to be in on it.

"Hello?" he said lazily when his phone rang.

"Angelo, it's Morag," came the voice at the other end of line.

"How's Charlie?" he asked worriedly, immediately sitting up.

"Can you come over?" Morag asked, making him panic even more. "We've called the girls. We need to all have a discussion."

"Yeah," he replied. "I'll be there in a minute."

He hung up, shoved his papers into a drawer and fled the station.

***

Inside the interview room, Leah was frustrated. She had told Robertson everything she knew. She mentioned the will, Charlie's suspicions of Angelo and how she had been subdued but didn't appear suicidal that weekend.

"What can you tell me about Joey Collins?" Robertson asked.

He was sure that Joey was important in this somehow but he couldn't quite place her.

"What do you want to know about her?"

"Do you know much about her relationship with Charlie?"

"Well, I did live with them when they were a couple!"

Robertson nodded.

"So, they identified as a couple," Robertson concluded.

"Yes, they did."

"When did they come out?"

"Joey had been living with us for a few weeks. I don't know exactly when they got together and I admit that I didn't see any signs but that's probably because I wasn't looking for them. As far as I was aware then, Charlie was straight. But she and Joey were close from day one. Charlie looked after her in her situation. They were close one minute and not the next, though. I guess it was while they were trying to figure out how the felt. Joey moved in and out and in again. And then I found out they were an item."

"But they split up because Charlie cheated?" Robertson asked.

Leah sighed.

"It was pretty much the biggest mistake she felt she'd ever made. It wasn't because she didn't want to be with Joey. It was that she was afraid of what people would say. And Joey's brother had made a complaint about her that completely freaked her out. She was investigated of taking advantage of a vulnerable rape victim. It frightened her. It distressed her. It made her fret about the kind of person she was. She had a moment of weakness and it cost her the best relationship she's ever had."

"The best relationship?" Robertson asked. "In whose opinion?"

"Mine, Ruby's and I'd place a bet on it being Charlie's."

Robertson raised his eyebrows.

"You think Charlie loves Joey more than she loves Angelo?"

"Well... She does love Angelo. She's told me that. But... it's different."

"Different how?"

"With Angelo there comes a lot of baggage."

"Because he's a killer?"

"Because of his past," Leah agreed more delicately. "And because of Charlie's. They've hit so many bumps in the road. But they get each other. They love each other. They rub along nicely usually. It was different with Joey."

"Different how?"

"When they were best friends, they were so happy together. Everything was perfect. And once they'd got together for real, it was the same. They saw the best in each other and they brought out the best in each other. There's nothing Angelo won't do for Charlie. And there's nothing Joey won't do for her. But the difference is that there's nothing Charlie wouldn't have done for Joey. And I'm not entirely sure how far she'd go for Angelo."

"You say that both of them would do anything for Charlie," Robertson ventured. "Would that involve murder?"

"No!" Leah squeaked. "Neither of them would kill anyone."

"Not even the man that raped and impregnated the woman they love?"

"Joey wasn't even in Summer Bay at the time," Leah reminded him.

He nodded.

"And Angelo?"

"Killing Jack was a mistake. It's not a mistake I think he'd repeat."

***

Joey and Ruby sat side by side on one sofa. Morag and Ross took the other. Angelo sat on the edge of an armchair. Everyone was tense. There was an untouched plate of biscuits in the centre of the table. Angelo eyed Joey and Ruby who were holding hands, clinging to each other.

"The Doctor doesn't think that Charlie is going to pull through," Morag finally said.

Joey fought a wave of nausea.

"Why?" she asked quietly.

"They ran a lot of tests and Charlie's not responding to treatment. Her body's failing and it would be nothing short of a miracle if she pulled through this."

Ruby burst into tears and leant against Joey who put her arm around her and held her tight. Angelo's eyes bored into the biscuits.

"Is this our fault?" Joey asked worriedly, referring to herself and Angelo.

"It didn't help," Morag said honestly. "The heart attack has weakened her but that's not why she's not going to..."

"Live," Ruby finished.

Angelo bowed his head and wiped his eyes. His heart was racing.

"Did they say how long?" Joey asked, her voice barely audible.

"They have no idea," Morag admitted.

Joey continued to fight her own feelings as Ruby fell apart in her arms. She felt an overwhelming need to be strong for her. Ross sobbed quietly in his corner of the couch. Angelo stood up quickly.

"I'll see you later," he managed before hurrying out of the house.


	17. Chapter 17

_Unless I have a swift change of direction, the next chapter will finally reveal Charlie's letter to Joey. Here's how we get to it... IJKS xxx_

**Chapter Seventeen**

Two o'clock arrived and a still emotional Angelo was promptly sitting beside his girlfriend. She remained beautiful but she was an empty shell. No part of her gave away that she even existed anymore. Only the beeping machines and gentle rise and fall of her tummy signalled that she was alive. He wondered what was going to happen when she died. Slowly, his heart was beginning to come to terms with the Doctor's certainty that they would lose her. He couldn't bear it. He had no idea what he would do without her. He loved her so much and in many ways, Charlie was his only friend in the world. Watson seemed to have come around to accepting him in her life and Alf had been nice to him the other night but he was painfully aware that Charlie was the centre of his universe. He was also trying to refuse the fact that she might never have felt the same way.

***

Ruby forced herself back to school. Ross and Morag had made it clear that it wasn't a bad thing if she wanted to stay with them and no go back but she felt that she needed to fill her head with meaningless facts and classroom banter instead of waiting around for her chance to visit Charlie. Joey had walked her back to school and made her promise to phone her if she needed anything.

***

"I don't know if you can even hear me but I'm going to talk anyway," Angelo said softly, clutching Charlie's unresponsive hand. "I told Robertson that this was all his fault. Between the murder investigation and him manipulating you into thinking badly of me... I'm certain that those things are largely responsible for you lying here. Those things and all the mess with Ruby. You haven't been the same since you two fell out."

He sighed heavily.

"Charlie, I wasn't cheating on you. I don't even understand how you could think that. Why would I? I am fully aware that I'm the luckiest guy in the world to be able to call you mine. I'd never throw that away. Never."

He stroked her hand, careful not to interfere with the tubes and needles protruding from it.

"Do you remember when we first met? You were so pissed off that I was your new partner. But I charmed you in the end. We had such good banter between us. I used to love going to work on the days that I knew you and I were patrolling together. I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world and I adored everything about you. I still do. And I know that us getting together at first was a drunken response to all the shit in our lives at the time but I was so happy. It broke my heart when you called it a mistake. But I was over the moon when it kept happening. And then after everything with Jack... when I got you back, it felt like all my dreams had come true. Seeing you lying here is breaking my heart. It's breaking everyone's hearts. I've never seen Ruby in such a state. And I hate that you've done this thinking that I betrayed you."

He clutched her a little tighter but she showed no sign of understanding him.

"I never betrayed you. And I regret not just telling you the whole truth when I had the chance. Now it's probably too late but I'm going to tell you everything anyway."

***

Joey and Leah sat at a table in the Diner. Feeling emotional, Joey had arrived and taken her friend and current housemate to one side. They'd shared a coffee and Leah had gone on a break to listen to the awful news about Charlie. Both were aware that Colleen was hovering, attempting to find out the news for herself but they'd resigned themselves to not sending her away. Charlie's terrible turn was going to make its way around the town eventually and really, they supposed that her friends deserved to know the truth.

***

"Hey, Ruby, how's Charlie?" Nicole asked, catching up with her friend.

"She's probably going to die," Ruby burst out.

Nicole looked horrified and quickly gathered the younger girl into her arms.

"Ruby, I'm so sorry," she said, stroking her hair.

From further along the corridor, Xavier watched in silence.

***

"I was meant to go to prison for killing Jack," Angelo explained quietly. "I would have gone down for manslaughter. Because I _was_ responsible for his death. I know I was. But it was an accident. I didn't mean to shoot anyone, least of all Jack. But then the cops came to me and offered me an out. I'd go free and get my life back if I could work undercover for them and bring down a human trafficking group."

Charlie's machines continued to beep.

"The more they told me about the evil that this group was doing, the more I wanted to help. And yeah, it was selfish too. I didn't want to stay in prison for years. It was bad enough for a few months. I was broken and I was torturing myself every day with what I'd done. But it was just a mistake, Charlie. There was no way I was ever planning on doing something like that again. I wanted to get out of prison and I thought that somehow I could redeem myself by saving the lives of these poor people being shipped into the country and suffering goodness knows what. I never thought I'd be redeemed through the eyes of other people but I hoped that in time, if I did my job, if I did my best, then I might be able to find some kind of peace."

Tears stung Angelo's eyes and he pulled his chair a little closer.

"I was in love with you still. How could I not be? But I never dared let myself hope that you might want to be with me again. As far as I was concerned, I was coming to the Bay to live a lonely but free life. I was sworn to secrecy about my mission, understandably. I never imagined that I'd ever be in a position to have someone to tell. I hated lying to you, Charlie, but it was the only way. And then when everything with Grant happened... Robertson manipulated the situation. I guess he thinks I did it or something and that if you hated me and felt I'd betrayed you, you might rat me out."

***

Colleen was in a flap. As ever, she didn't know the full story but what she could deduce from snippets of Leah and Joey's conversation was that Senior Constable Buckton's situation was going from bad to worse. She felt terrible for her. The police officer was such a nice woman with so many complicated problems. Couldn't she ever catch a break? Couldn't something go right for her, even a little bit? It wasn't fair.

***

Aden and Geoff were in their own individual worlds as they worked on the trawler together in the sunshine. Geoff couldn't stop thinking about Ruby, fretting over how she was taking Charlie's situation. News of the police officer's peril had reached even them and the whole town was reeling. How could someone they knew and loved be so desperate as to die voluntarily? And while Geoff worried about Ruby, still replaying their kiss in his head, Aden was desperate to get reception on his phone in order to contact Joey, knowing that she must be in pieces right about now.

***

Angelo kissed Charlie's hand.

"Everything I've done since I got back to Summer Bay, has been for good reasons," Angelo said, almost pleading. "I've needed to trail my main suspect all this time without him thinking I was suspicious. I am so sure it's him now and I'm so close to getting to the bottom of it. I was going to tell you everything as soon as Hugo Austin was in jail. And I'd hoped you'd understand. I'm so sorry for not telling you when you had the chance. When you tried to take your life, you did it thinking that I'd betrayed you. But I didn't. I might not have been completely honest about everything but you're a cop, Charlie. I figured you'd understand. And if it hadn't come out like this then..."

He sighed and wiped his eyes hurriedly.

"I never meant to hurt you," he said. "I just wish you knew that. I'd never hurt you. All I've ever wanted to do is love you and care for you and keep you safe. I'd do anything for you, Charlie, anything at all. I'd never betray you like you think I have. Please, please wake up so I can tell you all this properly."

***

Hugo and Martha had taken the afternoon off work in order to go the Surf Club. The plan was for Xavier to meet them after school and they were hoping to cheer him up. So far, they had managed to deduce that Ruby had ended things between them and that he was convinced she was interested in Geoff. Hugo was furious with her for the way that she was treating his brother and even in her current situation with Charlie, he refused to excuse her.

"What are you thinking about?" Martha asked, stirring her drink.

"Ruby and Xavier," Hugo admitted. "It's so messed up, isn't it? That whole family are messed up!"

Martha smiled sadly. Charlie was her friend. But he had a point. Between the revelations and suspicious circumstances over recent months and her dodgy choices in relationships, Charlie was definitely proving to be one complicated woman.

"I feel so bad for them all," she said. "I'm desperately sad for Xavier of course, but Ruby must be going through hell."

"Yeah, she must be," Hugo agreed. "But I'm still furious with her. He's a good kid. He doesn't deserve to be treated so badly."

***

Joey arrived at the hospital. She and Angelo exchanged polite glances as he left and she entered the side room. As usual, Charlie lay in silence but for the beeping machines. She looked so fragile that it made Joey want to cry. She was terrified that things were only going to get worse from here. The thought of losing her was destroying her soul.

"Hey, beautiful girl," she said softly, kissing her forehead. "I brought you another plant."

She waved it in front of Charlie's unseeing eyes and placed in on the side.

"I know Rebecca fixed up the old one but it doesn't look quite the same to me."

She sat down and took Charlie's hand, ready to twitter away to her until Ruby came to take over the visit. She had no idea if she could be heard but if there was any small part of Charlie that was able to reach out, Joey was desperate to find it.

***

Angelo arrived at the police station and immediately sought out Watson.

"What's wrong?" she asked, noting his grave expression.

"The Doctor thinks Charlie's dying," he said.

Watson chewed her lip and took a breath to try and keep from crying. He patted her on the shoulder and headed home. Watson excused herself to the bathroom.

***

Charlie felt like she had been floating for years. She had no concept of time or even of her own existence. Wherever she was, she had so much time to think and yet she couldn't decipher words. She knew she had people that she loved and yet she could not think of their names. Her life or death was based on feelings only. There were times when she felt afraid. There were times when she felt complacent and peaceful – times like now. Now she felt calm and safe and loved. She didn't know what was different about now but she was grateful for it. And still she wondered how long all of this would last.

***

Joey continued to chat to Charlie. She couldn't bear to mention the news they had received earlier that day. She remained desperate to be positive about Charlie getting better. Giving into her own grief was never going to help. Clutching Charlie's hand, she kept talking about how much everyone was looking forward to gazing into her eyes again, hearing her voice, being part of her life.

***

"Have you heard from Ruby?" Aden asked

"No," Geoff replied quickly. "Why?"

Aden smirked at him certain that something more had happened between Geoff and Ruby than his friend was telling him.

"I was just worrying about Charlie," he said. "You know, after what Colleen said."

Geoff nodded.

"I just wish there was something we could do," he said.

***

Ruby knocked softly on the door of Charlie's room. Joey turned and smiled at her. Ruby entered the room and shut the door behind her, immediately approaching her mother and asking her how she was. Every day, she secretly hoped for an answer.

"How are you doing?" Joey asked Ruby, who nodded unconvincingly.

"I'll leave you guys to it," the older girl said, standing up.

She kissed Charlie's forehead and made to leave, turning back at the door.

"Would you like me to wait for you?" she asked. "I thought maybe we could go to the Surf Club or something when visiting hours finish."

"That'd be lovely," Ruby agreed. "Exactly what I need. Thank you."

***

Watson sat alone in her apartment feeling awful. How could Charlie be dying? Why couldn't she just wake up and be alright again? She wondered if she might be able to convince Angelo and Charlie's family to let her go and visit her. Even if it was just to say goodbye, Watson felt strongly that she needed to be there with her. Charlie had always been a good cop and a good friend and Watson looked up to her. She struggled with the idea that Charlie might be gone.

***

Ruby and Joey headed to the Surf Club. Like Joey, Ruby had avoided talking to Charlie about her possible demise. It wasn't a train of thought that Ruby could bear to entertain. Instead, she'd held on tightly to her hand and opened up about breaking up with Xavier and kissing Geoff. She and her housemate hadn't spoken since the event and things felt awkward with neither of them knowing what to say. It was the kind of situation that Ruby would always have immediately turned to Charlie about. Things had been frayed between them since the revelations about Ruby's parentage but back before all the trauma, Charlie was always the first person Ruby would turn to in a time of need. It was something Ruby had desperately missed during their estrangement. Back when she was dealing with everything, she so desperately wanted to turn to Charlie about all her fears but of course, Charlie was the one person she hadn't been able to talk to. And now it was the same. Charlie could only lie, almost lifeless and Ruby could only pretend to herself that her mother was listening.

"Are you alright?" Ruby asked when she and Joey entered the Surf Club and saw Hugo sitting with Martha. "We can go somewhere else if you'd like."

It was the first time Joey had set eyes on the man who had helped Charlie break her heart. She'd been very lucky to have been able to avoid him thus far.

"No, I'm good," she promised.

"I'll get our drinks," Ruby said. "You go and find a seat."

Joey obeyed and sat down while Ruby approached Alf behind the bar.

"I'm surprised you can show your face," Hugo said without thinking.

He and Ruby were side by side at the bar. The teenager froze.

"Hugo..." Martha warned.

"Do you realise that you've broken my brother's heart?" Hugo said.

Xavier, who was currently in the bathroom, had been nothing short of miserable all evening, the same as he had been for days.

"Look, I can't help it if..." Ruby began.

"If you dump Xavier for a fling with Geoff?" Hugo snapped loudly.

Joey looked up sharply, Hugo's tone having caught her attention.

"Hugo, I haven't..." Ruby tried, immediately becoming emotional. "I didn't mean..."

"Whatever you meant to do or not, doesn't matter. You've been nothing short of cruel to Xavier. I expected better of you. I always thought you were a lovely girl but you disgust me right now!"

Ruby looked like she was about to burst into tears. Joey leapt to her feet and hurried over.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she snapped angrily.

He looked startled to see her. Part of him felt guilty for sleeping with Charlie behind Joey's back. It was certain that Charlie had been devastated over losing her. But then, that wasn't really his problem.

"This has nothing to do with you," Hugo told her.

"It has everything to do with me. You're yelling at Ruby for falling out of love with someone. She can't help it. Relationships end. And I'm sorry for Xavier's pain but quite frankly, there's a hell of a lot worse going on right now."

Martha closed her eyes, wishing this confrontation could be over immediately.

"Just because Charlie's in a coma, it doesn't mean that she can treat my brother like crap!"

"We've just been told that Charlie probably won't survive," Joey growled. "So don't you dare lay into Ruby or you'll have me to deal with."

She tugged on Ruby's hand and led her through the door before Hugo could even open his mouth to respond.

"Have I ever told you that you're awesome?" Ruby asked as they walked back to Irene's together.

Joey smiled. She wasn't sure where all that audacity had come from but she was pleased to have been able to protect Ruby. She knew that Charlie would never have stood for Hugo or anyone slating her daughter and Joey wasn't prepared to let it go either.

"I guess he had a point though," Ruby said sadly. "I have hurt Xavier."

"You can't help who you fall in love with," Joey replied. "Sometimes we wish we could but life just doesn't work that way."

Ruby sighed and offered a sad smile. She took Joey by the hand and they continued walking in silence.

"Do you want to have a drink here instead?" Ruby offered when they reached the house.

"That'd be lovely."

***

Ten minutes later, the girls were holed up in Ruby's room with a glass of coke each.

"Thank you so much for protecting me, Joey," Ruby said sincerely.

"Of course I'd protect you," Joey replied. "I'm kind of fond of you really!"

They both laughed.

"Charlie's not able to look after you right now," Joey said gently. "So the rest of us need to do her job for her. It's what she'd want."

"Joey, how much do you know about everything?" Ruby asked.

"I think I know everything."

"From what people have said?"

"From what Charlie wrote to tell me," Joey explained.

Instinctively, she touched the back pocket of her jeans where she kept Charlie's letter during the day when she was out and about.

"The letter," Ruby remembered. "It must have really been something to bring you all the way back here after everything that happened."

Joey nodded.

"I've read it so many times and it hasn't even nearly lost its impact yet."

Ruby reached into her beside drawer. Without verbalising anything, the two girls swapped letters, sitting beside each other on the bed, reading what their loved one had said to both of them when she was preparing to walk down a path she couldn't return from.


	18. Chapter 18

_And here, at last, is the long awaited letter... IJKS xxx_

**Chapter Eighteen**

My Dearest Joey,

I guess it's a bit of a shock to hear from me and I'm sorry to have to write to you like this. It's just that I've run into some problems and I have to go away. You're probably thinking, what's that got to do with me? We're not a part of each other's lives now. But that's exactly why I need to write to you. This is my one chance to say that I'm sorry, tell you that I love you and then say goodbye. It breaks my heart to leave it like this but I hope you'll understand what I've got to do and I hope one day you might forgive me for all the pain I've caused you. Losing you was the biggest mistake I ever made and not a day has passed where I haven't thought of you, missed you and wished you were here. I can't help but think of how life might have turned out if I'd have managed to keep you by my side. I guess we'll never know. It breaks my heart to say goodbye like this.

I know I'm being completely selfish writing to you like this. There are just so many things I need to say to you before it's too late. It's going to sound strange in light of everything that happened but you were always the person I could be myself with. You brought out an honesty in me that was surprising, except of course when it mattered. I often wonder if, had I been honest with you about what happened, I might have been allowed to keep you. Or if I had been honest about my fears, perhaps I wouldn't have made such a terrible and disgusting mistake that cost me one of the two best things in my world. The other best thing is Ruby. And here I am, all alone now, having lost both of you. How I wish I could make you both love me again. I wish I could take all the pain away.

Joey, there's so much I need to confess to you. I hope you'll grant me the compassion and patience to read it. I know I don't deserve anything from you but this is one of the last things I will ever do in my life so I hope you can give me the time to say all the things I've ever wanted to say to you. I understand if you won't but I'll write it anyway, just in case.

I mishandled everything when we were getting together. I was surprised to find myself attracted to you the first time I saw you, that day on the boat when there was that altercation. Then when I saw you again while you were working behind the bar at the Surf Club, something just made me notice you, way before I realised there was anything wrong. And the more we got to know each other, the more I wanted to help you. You were so fragile and I was desperate to look after you. The last thing I expected to do was let you down and hurt you even more. I wanted to protect you. And I wanted to be close to you. And then when I realised you'd been raped... I just... I broke my heart over you – for the first time. I cried myself to sleep that first night, after you told me what happened but wouldn't press charges. I could relate to you in a way I didn't want to admit. I didn't tell you at the time because I was afraid to admit it anybody but when I was a teenager, fourteen years old, I was raped. There were so many times when I wanted to tell you about it but I was too scared. I hadn't talked about it for years and not even Ruby knew. I was terrified of opening up a can of worms, a can that's been opened now, and I didn't want to make your troubles about my mess. But I was raped by a boyfriend and I conceived a child. I carried her to term and then I ran away because I couldn't handle being a mother or a grown up. I couldn't cope with the life I'd fallen into. But my parents raised her. And we named her Ruby. That's my big secret, written in black and white. Ruby's my daughter. I was in no fit state to raise her so my parents did. And then when I was ready to be her Mum, it was too late. Right now, she hates me for lying to her. I don't think she'll ever forgive me. And I don't blame her. I guess you know the feeling, don't you? I wronged both of you in different ways.

Sometimes when Ruby and I spend time together, for a few moments it feels like we're back to normal. But ever since I told her the truth, things have never been the same. She ran away from home and since she got back, she's barely been able to be in the same room as me. As sisters, we were so close. And as mother and child, we're worlds apart. She's moved out and into Irene's house with Geoff and Annie. We hardly talk. I tried to say goodbye to her last night but she was too busy. It's too hard for her to hang out with me and every time I see her but she doesn't see me, my heart breaks a little more. I know I deserve it but that doesn't make it easier. Joey, if you ever see Ruby again, please be good to her. Please tell her just how much I love her and that I never meant for her to suffer for my sorrows. All I ever wanted was the best for her and while I was obviously misguided as to how to do that, I did have the best of intentions. And if you could ever get her to understand just what I went through when she was conceived, I'd be grateful. Nobody could ever explain it like you could. For years I've lived with this pain that I couldn't describe. But when we sat down and you told me what happened to you and how you felt about it, it was like you were reading the grief etched on my own heart. I was right there with you. And it felt like I could rewrite time and you were there with me. Without knowing it, you made my pain easier to bear. You made me strong. You made me survive. Until I met you, I feel like I'd been coasting along, never really living, always hanging back inside myself, always trapped in the past. You said over and over again that I saved you. But really, you saved me by your goodness alone and you didn't even realise you were doing it.

It's not even nearly an excuse but this is all why I freaked out over Brett's claim against me. He accused me of sexual misconduct, of taking a vulnerable woman and abusing her. He said that I'd taken you, beautiful, perfect you, under my wing only to take advantage. And to think that I'd done that, that I'd hurt you in some way, destroyed me. To me you were, you still are, the most incredible person in the world. And you were vulnerable. You'd been to hell and back and you'd put your trust in me when as a police officer, I was meant to be taking care of you. I still don't know if I overstepped the line. I still don't know if I did you wrong. I mean, I know I did you wrong in the end, but did I abuse you by falling in love with you? I just don't know. And if I did I am so sorry. That's a large part of what was storming through my soul that night. I was scared and I was lost and I was disgusted with myself to think that it was possible that I could hurt you like that. Surely, if I had done wrong, that meant that I was like the man who raped me, like the man who raped you. I got lost in it. I felt wrong and dirty and I did something that just confirmed the kind of person I was. I openly admit I was afraid of the gay label. On the beach, he accused me of being gay. I panicked. I wasn't ready to share us with the world yet because I was sure that people finding out would wreck what we had. I loved you so much. I loved you too much. I still do. I always will. If there is some kind of consciousness wherever I'm going, I hope that I will always be able to hold onto my love for you and perhaps one day, eventually, I'll be able to offer penance to you for how I treated you. One thing I know about myself is that I've hated myself since the day that boy – because back then, he was just a boy – violated me. Every ounce of self-hatred has been like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I've messed up every relationship I've ever had because I've never felt loveable. And it's never meant so much than it did when I lost you. I didn't deserve you so I messed it all up and let you slip away. Watching you sail off into the sunset is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It's up there with watching Ruby grow and live as my sister instead of as my baby. All I wanted to do was throw myself into the water, beg you love me and never leave, to give me a chance to make it all up to you. But I didn't. I stayed. You left. And you didn't come back.

Like I said, I know a history of sexual abuse doesn't excuse what I did or how I lied about it. I should never have cheated on you. I've never done it before and I can safely say that I will never do it again. I admit, once I realised you weren't coming back, I did start a new relationship. Actually, I resumed an old one. Angelo returned to the Bay. I'm still not quite sure how it happened but he's been working with me and attempting to redeem himself for shooting Jack. It's taken a while but people have learnt to accept him again and eventually, he and I started dating. I'm sure you don't want to hear it but I wanted to be honest with you and tell you the truth about everything while I have the chance. He was pretty much suicidal after what he'd done. The self-hatred inside of him called out to me because I matched it. I might not have killed anybody but I hurt the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I wounded you badly enough, and not for the first time, that you were prepared to leave your home and your family and your friends and now I'm not sure you ever planned on coming back. I know I've never deserved you to come back. So with Ruby growing up and ready to lose her virginity to Xavier, me not being allowed to be her mother through all of that, and feeling the loss of you so deeply every day, I admit that I fell into his arms. And I'm telling you this because right now, I'm certain that he's bee cheating on me. I feel sad about it. I feel betrayed. I feel like it's karma and I deserve it. And it's yet another reason why I need to say goodbye to my life. So it's true that what goes around, comes around. I betrayed you. And now he's betrayed me. And a big part of me is distraught over it. I care for Angelo very much and despite appearances, we've been happy together these past few months. I told him about the rape and about Ruby and I told him about you. But while I feel love for him, I don't think it's real love. I know for certain that I'm not in love with him. Part of me wants to be. He's a good guy and I know Jack's death was an accident he'll never forgive himself for. But he's not you. He could never be you. Nobody could. I have never loved anyone the way I love you and I never will.

Even though I messed it up so badly, the truth is that you brought out the best in me, Joey. When I was around you, I couldn't help but smile, even when I was battling with my feelings and didn't want to let you get close to me. But you always got through somehow. You saw a part of me that you understood and loved. You reached out to me and you held me close, even when I was fighting against you. You made me laugh, made me feel younger and more energetic; you made me feel like there was good in the world and that I had a life to live. I know we weren't actually together too long but I feel like I've loved you for a lifetime. When we were together, I felt there was nothing I couldn't do, nothing I couldn't be. You made me live. You made me love. Now it's all over and it's all my fault. Now I'm just lost.

After I told Ruby the truth about her parentage, she ran off. When she came back, she went looking for her father. He came to Summer Bay, threatening me and demanding access to his child. I broke. I kidnapped him. I tortured him. I forced him to confess to Ruby that he was lying about her conception being between two consenting teens. Then he was murdered. I didn't do it, Joey. I hated him. Everyone knew it. And I did wrong by abducting him, I know that. I dread to think just how badly you must think of me now that I've confessed that. But I needed to tell you the truth. And the truth is that I'm glad he's dead. I hope he's burning for all eternity. I don't have your grace, Joey. I don't have your heart. If I had, I would never have broken you in the first place. And if I had, maybe I wouldn't feel so glad that he is gone from my life forever and more specifically, gone from Ruby's. I hate him. But I didn't kill him. I'd gladly buy a drink and maybe dinner for whoever did, but it wasn't me. Unfortunately, when the guy who raped you and conceived a child with you, rocks up on the beach stabbed to death, you become the prime suspect. At the moment, I've had my badge and gun taken away from me and I'm suspended from duty. I expect that in a matter of days I'll be charged with a murder I didn't commit. So yes, that's another reason why I can't live like this anymore.

I'm being a coward. I know I am. And it's one of the many things I hope you and Ruby might forgive me for. And my Dad. And Morag. And Angelo. Even Leah and VJ and Watson and Miles. It's kind of sad when you can count on two hands the amount of people who might be affected by your departure. But when I lost you, it was the start of losing everything. I was lucky enough to be loved by the most incredible person I've ever met. And then I lost you. Then I lost Ruby for the sake of my past sins. The only thing I had left was my job and Angelo. But now I'm not even allowed to work. I may never be allowed to be a cop again. And a guy I could only ever have lukewarm feelings for, betrayed me. I forgave him for being the one who accidentally told Ruby exactly what happened with her father and I but I just don't have to capacity to deal with wave after wave of uncertainty and stress. What's left from that? I'm just being selfish by forcing myself to continue in this world when everyone would be better off without me. Even you and Ruby. Especially you and Ruby.

I've been rambling for quite some time now. If you've reached this part of the letter then I thank you. It's kind of you to indulge me in my last goodbye when you owe me nothing. All I can bear to say now is that I love you with every beat of my heart. I am so sorry for how things turned out. I am so sorry for hurting you when you were already so vulnerable. Even if you can't forgive me, please know that I never stopped loving you, not once. You're the most beautiful, wonderful, perfect person in the world and I guess I should have known by that, that we were never meant to last. From day one, you've been better than me, you've been too good, far out of my league. I wholeheartedly wish that I could have been different for you, but if you're not good enough, you're not good enough. Joey, all I wish for you is that you go on to live a happy life. I hope that when you left, you were able to heal from everything you suffered in Summer Bay and that you've gone on to fall in love and be with someone who deserves you. I don't know if you'll come to say goodbye or not when you read this but if you do, thank you. And if you do, please be around for Ruby. She gave me such a hard time over losing you because she knew as well as I did that you were the best relationship I'd ever had. She knew that you were special. She's missed you. She cared for you so much once she got her head around everything. So please, if you come, and if you can, please let my baby know just how much I love her. And I hope that you know how much I love you. You said I had a funny way of showing it and I know that that's true but you really are my one true love. It sounds corny but it's the way it is. And it makes me sick to know that you'll only ever find that out through a letter to say goodbye. One of my biggest regrets will now be that I never got to hold your hand in public, to tell my Dad and Morag about us, to kiss your lips and hold you in my arms again. There is so much to miss and such a sense of loss in my heart. I am so sorry I let you down. Please forgive me. I will love you forever, beyond my last breath.

Forever yours,

Charlie


	19. Chapter 19

_Thank you all for your patience. I know this story is slow burning but hopefully it will be worth it. IJKS xxx_

**Chapter Nineteen**

Both Ruby and Joey were in tears by the time they finished each other's letters. Ruby reached for a box of tissues, pulling several out. She handed a couple over to Joey who accepted them gratefully. She put her arm around Ruby who rested against her shoulder.

"She really did tell you everything," Ruby said.

"I guess she needed to get it all off her chest before... before."

Joey swallowed and dabbed at her eyes.

"She really loves you, Joey," the younger girl said.

Joey smiled sadly, always hoping that it was true.

"And she loves you too," she said. "You know that, right? Whatever she did in the past, she was only trying to protect you."

Ruby cried a little harder.

"She's going to die thinking I hate her," she said. "I just wish she'd wake up so I could tell her how I really feel."

"She's going to wake up," Joey said certainly.

She couldn't bear to contemplate any other options. Ruby attempted to gather the same assurance Joey had.

"Yeah," she said. "She'll wake up and I can be her daughter. And you can be her girlfriend."

"I know someone who'd have a problem with that," Joey pointed out.

"She said herself that she could only ever have lukewarm feelings for Angelo. I know she wants to love him but the only person she's never struggled to fall in love with is you. She struggled to handle the fact but all the feelings were there."

***

Angelo arrived the hospital the following morning. He kissed Charlie's lips, wishing that he could feel some kind of pressure back, some kind of response. But there was none. He sighed, wondering how long he and the others would have to keep up this charade that Charlie might actually wake up and heal. And who was to say that she even wanted to? If she'd attempted suicide then wouldn't she be disappointed to wake up? Would any of them even be able to convince her to live? He grimaced when he pictured Joey, wondering if she would be reason enough. And where would that leave him?

***

Joey spent the morning cleaning the house. Leah wasn't charging her any rent, as nobody knew how long she would be staying so the deckhand was offering cleaning services and several meals a week in exchange. Leah had remarked that getting home cooked meals was lovely, considering she had to make food for other people all day. Heading out of the house for some fresh air, she automatically ended up down at the docks. She waved when she saw Aden and Geoff pulling the trawler in. Aden threw a rope towards her and she secured the boat to the wharf, waiting for them to climb overboard.

"You know, if you're sticking around, I am sure Irene could use another employee on this thing," Aden said by way of greeting.

Joey smiled. It would certainly be tempting. The only good thing about the job with Robbo was that she'd met Aden. To work with him again would be nice. And she'd be able to keep an eye on the boy that she was certain would soon be Ruby's boyfriend. On more than one occasion, she'd pictured Charlie waking up, them reuniting and moving in together again. Charlie would be cleared of any murder charges and resume work protecting the community and Joey would start working on a trawler again. And a trawler run by Aden would make her image of heaven that little bit more perfect. Of course, there were a lot of essential things that needed to happen before she could achieve any of those things. Her dream wasn't in her control.

"That'd be fun," she agreed.

He hugged her. Geoff waved politely, not really knowing her all that well, and continued working.

"How are you?" Aden asked. "I heard about..."

"Yeah," Joey sighed. "I'm okay. I'm choosing to be optimistic, whatever the hospital are saying. How are you?"

Aden shrugged. He didn't want to be maudlin but he also knew lying to Joey was impossible.

"You know, I'm really missing being out on the water," Joey ventured. "Do you reckon you could get away with taking her out with me tonight? We could bring some beers, some dinner. What do you think?"

He beamed at her.

"That sounds like the best idea I've heard for months."

"See you outside the Diner at five?"

"Count on it."

***

Angelo, Ross and Morag exchanged pleasantries in the waiting room as they swapped shifts. Watching Charlie's father and step-mother enter the room, Angelo hurried out of the hospital and drove into work. Settling himself behind his desk, he prepared for a long day at work, looking up only when a cup of coffee was placed on his desk. Watson stood over him.

"How is she?"

"Same," he said unhappily.

"I was wondering I... maybe I could go and see her some day."

"I'm sure that'd be fine," Angelo said. "I reckon a fair few people will want to come in and..."

His voice caught and he took a deep breath.

"To say... um... to say... to say goodbye."

He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to cry at work. It was humiliating. Watson put a compassionate hand on his shoulder. There had been a time when she hated this man's guts but he was starting to win her round and as a friend of Charlie's, she'd wanted to be supportive of the man her colleague was dating. And she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Whatever he might have done, he loved Charlie and nobody deserved to lose their partner that way.

"Hey, um... do you want to get dinner or something tonight?" she suggested.

He looked a little startled.

"I'm not asking you out!" she clarified quickly. "That would be hideously inappropriate and I'm as gay as it gets but I was just thinking you might want some company, a friend."

He attempted not to look surprised at her sexuality declaration and couldn't help but wonder when everyone in the Bay had turned gay. Accepting, they arranged to go to the Diner together after their shift finished.

***

Ross and Morag sat on either side of Charlie's bed.

"Hey, Charlie, do you remember when we all went on that family holiday to... to... um... to..."

He looked helplessly at his wife.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't know where you mean."

"You were there!" he said quickly.

She shook her head gently.

"That was your first wife," she told him.

He looked like he was about to cry. Turning back to his daughter, he attempted to fathom what on earth he'd been telling her about but his mind was a blank. Tearfully, he turned back to Morag.

"What if she dies?" he asked. "What if she dies and I forget who she was?"

Morag stood and moved around to his side of the bed and held him close against her. She wished she could reassure him that he'd never forget Charlie but it wasn't true. Eventually, time would take its toll on him and his illness and he'd lose control of all of his memories no matter how desperately he wanted to hold onto them.

***

Ruby, Nicole and Annie went for a walk along the beach at lunch time.

"So, what do you think I should do?" Ruby asked.

She was desperate to talk about anything but Charlie so she'd settled on her second most important subject – how she felt about Geoff.

"Ruby, he's so into you," Annie said. "And I should know. I know him better than anyone else, after all. You should just sit down and talk to him about it."

"I agree," Nicole chipped in. "You two would make a great couple. And can you imagine the beautiful babies you'd have!"

"Hey!" Ruby protested with a laugh. "We've only kissed once! There's no need to get us married with a bun in the oven quite so quickly."

The three of them giggled. Ruby suddenly stopped walking.

"What's wrong?" Nicole asked worriedly when she saw her friend's face.

"Nothing," Ruby lied.

"Ruby..."

"I was just thinking that if I got pregnant now, Charlie would be a thirty year-old grandmother," she said, not quite sure how she felt about it. "And she might not even live to see her grandchildren."

Both her friends put their arms around her and the threesome continued to walk across the sand together.

***

Robertson breezed out of the police station and drove towards the Diner to get some lunch, a cappuccino and hopefully a conversation with Leah. He was desperately disappointed that his work and Charlie's personal problems had got in the way of their date. While it might not have been Charlie's fault that Grant was dead – he hadn't quite decided yet – it also wasn't his fault and nor was Charlie's imminent death. He felt sad that a wonderful woman like Leah thought he was a bad guy.

***

Charlie felt lonely. She was floating and completely out of control. She hadn't felt quite so lost earlier. But now she felt alone and suddenly, she'd become aware of the silence engulfing her. It made her sad. She tried to think of the last friendly voice she'd heard but she failed to access memories. Everything felt so long ago. She didn't know anything about herself or the world that may or may not be around her anymore. She hoped something, anything would change soon.

***

Ross and Morag were just exiting the Diner as Robertson was sauntering through the door.

"Battleship!" he greeted as if they were old friends. "Detective Buckton. Good to see you. How's Charlie? I would have asked Angelo at the station but he's got a face like thunder."

"She's dying," Ross said bitterly.

Robertson looked genuinely sad for a moment.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said. "I don't suppose either of you have any more information on the death of Grant Bledcoe, do you? I'm really keen to get this whole thing wrapped up and head on back to the city."

"Well, I'm sorry if my daughter's coma is getting in the way of your investigation," Ross snapped.

"I meant no offence," Robertson told him. "I for one, sincerely hope that your daughter recovers from this and can prove she didn't kill anyone. I don't want her to be guilty. I hope you know that."

Without another word, he walked past them and into the building.

***

After lunch, Joey headed on over to the hospital. Clutched in her back pocket was Charlie's letter. She felt almost unburdened to have shared it with Ruby and she felt touched that Ruby had shared her letter too. They'd stayed up well into the night talking everything through. They'd shared their happiest memories of Charlie with each other and attempted to look towards a happy future that she could be part of. Ruby had said with certainty that Charlie must love Joey very much and she had no doubt that if she woke up, she'd want to be with her. Joey tried not to let herself hope but with everything Charlie had written, she'd brought back all the feelings that had been pushed back ever so slightly from the surface.

"Hey, sweetheart," she said gently, kissing Charlie's forehead. "I brought you a present."

She presented a small teddy bear and nestled it by the side of Charlie's shoulder so that she was lying with a teddy on each side.

"Now, you know I've never slept a night without him since the day I was born," Joey said, making herself comfortable in the chair. "So you'd better look after him, okay? Keep him safe. And you can give him back to me when you wake up."

She held onto Charlie's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Charlie offered no response. Joey sighed.

"Looks like we'll need to do your hair again soon," she mused. "I don't know if you felt it or liked it but I hope it made you feel cared about. It was kind of therapeutic for us to do that for you. It was healing. And I'm sure if you've got any level of consciousness, you'll be worrying about Rubes. But she's okay. She misses you and she's struggling so badly but she's made of strong stuff. I mean, how could she not be with you as her Mum, hey? She's strong. You'd be so proud of her. But I know how desperate she is for you to wake up. She had a bit of an altercation with Hugo last night. I took her away and we spent most of the night talking. We read each other's letters. I hope you know I'm doing my best to look after her, the way you've always done. I've been trying to protect her and support her, take care of her. But I'm just holding the forte until you're ready to come back, okay?"

She stroked the back of Charlie's delicate hand with her thumb and carefully lifted it to her lips, offering a small kiss before settling her back down again. She kept hold of her, wishing that she would never have to break contact again.

"Charlie, if you can hear me, you have to listen carefully, okay? I know things have been awful for you. I know you've been breaking your heart over everything that's been going on in your life, but you have to wake up. You have to beat the odds. You have to show all those Doctors that they're wrong. You have to overcome this. Please? You're so much stronger than this, Charlie. You need to wake up and face the world. You have to."

She began to sob.

"You have to. I can't have my last living memory of you as a woman crying while I sailed away from her. I can't have missed that last chance to tell you I love you."

She took the letter out of her pocket and unfolded it.

"You seem convinced in this letter that I hate you but I don't. I can't. I won't. Please give me the chance to tell you that that's the truth. Charlie, I need you. I feel like I can't breathe without you. I will hate myself for the rest of my life if you... if you... if you die thinking that I don't forgive you. Because I do. That's half the reason that I left. Because I was willing to forgive you so easily. Because I'm so crazily in love with you that nobody else in the whole world could ever compare to how amazing you are."

She took a breath and wiped her eyes.

"I tried to move on, you know," she said quietly. "I met a few girls, went on a few dates. I even slept with someone else. And the whole time, I felt like I was cheating on you because my heart never left the Bay. I tried to forget you but it was never going to be that easy. You saved my life. You made me strong. You're a big part of who I am. I love you. I will always love you. And I need you."

She swallowed but the lump in her throat firmly remained.

"I refuse to believe that I'll never get the chance to look into your beautiful eyes again. You know, I think it was your eyes that got to me first. After everything that happened with Robbo, I was determined that I'd never talk about it. I was pretty much willing to let him ruin my life. But when you sat on the beach with me and you looked at me with your big, blue eyes, I melted. I trusted you without question and I was so grateful to you for the way you guided me through everything."

She kissed Charlie's hand again.

"And that day on the boat when we nearly kissed, I hardly knew what was happening because I was so lost in your eyes. I think you'll forever be the most beautiful woman I've ever met. Sometimes I still have to pinch myself to realise that I really was lucky enough to be with you. I know it ended badly but I was the happiest I've ever been during the time we were together."

***

Ruby, Nicole and Annie left school together and began to make their journey back into the heart of Summer Bay where Ruby would then catch the bus to the hospital in order to spend time with Charlie. The previous evening was still playing on her mind and she was desperate to tell her friends about it but Joey had warned her that she shouldn't tell anyone about the letter. It declared Charlie's innocence about the murder but she could easily get into trouble when she woke up for abducting and forcing a confession out of Grant. So she remained quiet and thoughtful.

"How are things with Xavier now?" Nicole asked.

It had been obvious to everybody that the two couldn't even look at each other these days.

"Hugo laid into me about it last night," Ruby said unhappily.

"Are you okay?" Nicole asked worriedly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Joey put him in his place!"

Nicole grinned.

"Do you think Joey and Charlie will get back together if Charlie wakes up?" she wondered.

"She loves Angelo, doesn't she?" Annie asked quickly.

She had never been too comfortable with Charlie having a lesbian relationship. It didn't seem right that a woman would want to be intimate with a woman.

"I think they'll get back together," Ruby said. "She's never felt about Angelo the way she feels about Joey."

"And how do you feel about that?" Annie wondered.

It was no secret that Ruby had been freaked out over their relationship at first, having caught them kissing in Charlie's car.

"I'd be thrilled," Ruby said. "I know I panicked at first but I love them together. They made each other so happy until... you know. If Charlie turns to me for romantic advice when she wakes up, I know which partner I'll be advising her to choose. She and Joey belong together."


	20. Chapter 20

_Hi everyone. Thanks for all your comments on _Home_. It was just a random thought that took about fifteen minutes to write. The plan is to keep it as a one-shot but thank you so much for all your lovely feedback. It really made my evening. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to update this morning as I nearly severed the top of my finger off last night! But fortunately it all seems to be healing well and I can avoid a hospital trip! Word of warning... NEVER try to separate frozen burgers with a knife. Although, I'm sure everyone but me already knew that. Anyway, here is the next chapter. I'd say 'enjoy' but it's not really that kind of story so um... appreciate? Love, IJKS xxx_

***

**Chapter Twenty**

Ruby entered the hospital room and felt a wave of sadness wash over her when she saw Joey, face buried against Charlie's side, weeping. The teenager moved further into the room and whispered her friend's name. Joey looked up quickly and apologised. She stood and wiped her red-rimmed eyes, kissed Charlie on the forehead and made to leave. Ruby caught hold of her hand to stop her. She pulled her into a hug and Joey broke down again on her shoulder. It felt strange. Since she'd been back, Joey had been the one looking after her. It felt good but sad to be able to offer support.

"Why don't you stay for a bit?" she suggested.

"Oh, I don't want to infringe on your time," Joey said.

"It's fine," Ruby said, guiding her back into her seat.

She perched on the other side of the bed and held her mother's hand. Joey wiped her eyes and took a deep breath, determined to pull herself together.

***

Robertson pulled up at the fish market and stepped out of his car. Evidence suggested that Grant Bledcoe had been murdered here and then taken to the beach, where he was dumped and then found by Alf Stewart.

"Can I help you?" a young man asked, approaching him.

"No, no, I'm just trying to track a murderer."

The man looked puzzled and moved to turn away.

"Unless... is Ruby Buckton working today? I hear she's got a part time job here."

"No, she's taking leave right now, what with what happened to her Mum and everything. I told her just to let me know when she was ready to come back."

"That's kind of you," Robertson said, before starting to wander round looking on the floor for anything incriminating.

***

Aden was sitting on the fence to the beach waiting for Joey to arrive. He smiled when she appeared at the doorway of the Diner and headed towards him. He jumped off the fence to meet her.

"I have beer and snackage," she announced.

"And swollen eyes. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, it was just a bit of an emotional one down at the hospital," she said dismissively.

She still felt embarrassed at having been caught sobbing at Charlie's bedside. She was grateful at least that it had been Ruby's turn to visit next and not Angelo's. Aden hugged her and offered to carry her heavy backpack, which she readily agreed to. Then they began walking down to the docks.

"Is it definitely alright with Irene to go out on the trawler?" Joey asked.

"Yeah. She had no comprehension of why we wanted to do it but she agreed," Aden confirmed.

They stopped when Detective Robert Robertson approached them from the beach.

"Hello there," he greeted as if they were old friends. "Joey, isn't it?"

"Yes," Joey replied.

"And you are?" he asked Aden.

"Aden Jeffries," the young man replied.

"Best friends or...?"

"What does that matter?" Joey asked, immediately feeling defensive.

"Just interested," Robertson said. "Now, I've heard a rumour that you, Miss Collins, have a letter from Charlie in your possession."

He waited for her to respond but she didn't.

"I was wondering if I could take a look at it."

"I don't have a letter," Joey lied.

"Do you know that lying to a police officer is a criminal offence?"

"I'm not lying," Joey insisted. "I don't have a letter."

"That's not what I heard some of my colleagues saying today," Robertson told her. "And if you did have a document detailing exactly why Senior Constable Buckton decided to end it all, it'll be a vital piece of information to go towards clearing her name. Or, of course, incriminating her."

"I don't have any letter. I don't know what you're talking about."

Aden remained silent but eyed his friend curiously. Robertson nodded thoughtfully.

"Fair enough," he said brightly.

They began to walk away, pausing only when he called them back.

"How did you say you knew to come here, Joey?" he asked.

"I phoned and found out what happened."

Robertson nodded thoughtfully, folding his arms.

"But why would you phone a woman who'd you'd dumped for having sex with a man behind your back?" he asked.

Joey clenched her jaw.

"Because I cared," she said.

"But how did you know there was something to care about?"

"I care about Charlie," she said quickly. "That's all."

"Okay," he said, immediately deciding to get a warrant.

He needed that letter.

***

Geoff was just exiting the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, when Ruby got home. They both looked a little startled and she couldn't help but let her eyes rove over his body for a moment.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi," he replied.

"How are you?"

"Fine. I don't smell of fish anymore."

It was the one drawback of working on the trawler. But then, working at the fish market, Ruby rarely minded.

"Good. That's good," Ruby said.

"How were things at the hospital?"

"Pretty awful," Ruby admitted.

She sank down on the sofa and sighed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Geoff asked. "After I'm dressed?"

She smiled and nodded and he hurried off to his room to put some clothes on.

***

Watson and Angelo sat in the Diner waiting for their meals.

"Did you manage to ask about when I could go and visit?" Watson asked.

Angelo nodded and sipped his glass of lemonade.

"Yeah, I called Ross and Morag last night and they said that a lot of people want to visit and suggested that on Friday everyone can go. What time would be good for you?"

"I finish work at two thirty so I could get there for around three," Watson suggested.

"Sounds good," Angelo said. "I'll let Morag know. She's doing a bit of a rota."

He smiled at the organisation. It seemed to make Charlie's step mother feel better. Watson smiled back and sipped her Diet Coke.

"It'll be good to see her," she said. "I mean, I know things are terrible but... but the last time I saw her..."  
She shook her head, attempting to shake the image away but failed. She didn't think she'd ever forget the sight of Charlie on the bed, covered in blood.

"I'm glad I didn't have to see..." Angelo admitted.

He took another sip of his drink, wondering if his image of the scene was worse or better than it had been in reality.

***

Joey and Aden settled at the rear of the boat on a blanket and tucked into their snacks. Joey opened two beer bottles and handed one to Aden. It felt good to be out on the water again, taking in the fresh air, although she knew Charlie would always be on her mind.

"So, rough time at the hospital?" Aden queried.

Joey nodded and sighed, resting her arm on her knee. There was a rip in her jeans from back when she was working on the long haul.

"What happened?"

"I just broke down. I don't even know what it was, I just went to pieces. Ruby caught me. I was so embarrassed."

Aden smiled and patted her shoulder.

"I'm sure she understands," he told her.

"Yeah, she was pretty sweet about the whole thing."

She smiled, thinking affectionately of Charlie's teenage daughter. When Joey had first moved in after she'd been attacked, Ruby had been a little jealous of how much time Charlie and Joey had spent together. Then she'd panicked when she realised they were an item but eventually, she'd come round to the idea of them being together and the two had become close friends. She'd even tried to get them back together when they split up and now they were even friendlier. Joey felt protective of Ruby, she wanted to look after her until Charlie was ready to resume her responsibilities. It was a little strange to think of her as Charlie's daughter and not her sister but she'd read her ex partner's letter so many times that it had mostly sunk in. The harrowing images Charlie had left her with were certainly sticking in her mind and the thought of her poor, darling Charlie going through the same violence she had, broke her heart. She wanted to talk to her about it and support her through it. But she had to be patient. All the odds were against Charlie but Joey was still sure she could hear them and that she would wake up.

"What was that Detective guy going on about before?" Aden asked, sipping his beer.

"Charlie wrote me a suicide note," Joey replied honestly.

She sighed heavily.

"He wants it."

"So you told him it didn't exist?"

He looked puzzled.

"It was the most honest letter you could possibly read," Joey explained. "She told me everything she felt about everything. And it'd go towards clearing her name for the murder but there are other things in there, things she's done that she could get into trouble for. So, I can't let him read it."

Aden nodded. He couldn't help but wonder what the cop had been up to but he declined to ask.

"And besides, it's private. Those were Charlie's last words, her last thoughts. They were private between her and me. I've let Ruby read it but apart from that, it's just mine. I don't want it to become property of the police. I don't want anyone intruding on it. You know?"

"Fair enough," Aden replied. "It must have been something to come all this way."

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze as she fought not to become emotional. She looked up and smiled at him.

"She told me she loved me," she admitted.

***

Robertson hung up the phone feeling like he was finally getting somewhere. Charlie's suicide note may well have been a red herring of course but now that he had filed for a warrant to search Joey's room, he was a little closer to finding it and either including or excluding it from his investigation. He'd been told it would take a few days to acquire permission to ransack the property Joey was staying in, as it wasn't classed an emergency but as soon as he got it, he'd be reading the letter as quickly as possible.

***

Ross sat down at the table in the kitchen but could only pick at his food. He sighed heavily, making his concerned wife gaze at him. She held his hand over the table.

"Morag, tell me about the last time you spoke to Charlie," he asked.

She sighed and put her fork down, removing her hand from his and wringing her fingers together in her lap. She hadn't been looking forward to this conversation but she had always known it would come.

"She changed her will," she said very quickly.

He looked up sharply.

"What?"

"She and Leah came over to get me to change her will," Morag explained.

"And that didn't warn you as to what she was going to do?" her husband snapped.

She closed her eyes tiredly.

"No, Ross. It didn't. I've processed hundreds of wills and none of those people have opted to kill themselves afterwards!"

Husband and wife glared at each other before Ross finally apologised. He held Morag's hand again.

"I just can't believe she'd do this to herself," he said.

***

Angelo and Watson were tucking into their meals when Angelo braced himself to ask the question burning in his heart for weeks.

"Did you know about Charlie and Joey?"

Watson paused. She set her knife and fork down and took a long gulp of her drink.

"I did," she said. "Well, I found out when Joey's brother filed the complaint against Charlie."

Angelo nodded and picked at his food.

"What were they like together?" he asked.

"I don't really know," she said. "I was as surprised as anyone when it all came out. It was one of those things that you didn't see at the time but retrospectively, it all made sense."

"Did they love each other?"

Watson swallowed some more of her coke, wishing it was something stronger.

"I suppose they must have done," she admitted.

He waited for her to continue.

"You know how work obsessed Charlie is. But she risked it to be with Joey. I guess you don't do that if you don't love that person," she said.

He sighed and nodded, tucking into his food again to distract himself. It wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"But you also don't start dating the least popular guy in town if you don't love them too," Watson pointed out quickly.

He smiled, touched by her efforts to cheer him.

"I guess the big question is, who does she love the most?" he said.

***

Colleen, Alf, Miles and Kirsty were watching television together but with one of the show's main characters in a coma, it was proving hard to take.

"Maybe we shouldn't watch this anymore," Miles said, turning the television off.

The others readily agreed.

"Poor Senior Constable," Colleen said sadly, sipping her tea.

"She could still pull through," Kirsty said, hope etched in her voice.

"Let's hope so," said Miles.

Alf nodded and sighed.

***

Geoff and Ruby were seated side by side on the couch. He'd dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and she was tucked up beneath a blanket for comfort. She'd told him all about Joey breaking down at Charlie's side and about the letter she'd shown her. While she knew that the letter needed to be a secret, she felt like Geoff was a safe person to tell. She'd pretty much shared everything with him since their trip to the city to clear their heads.

"I just hate this waiting," she said. "Everything's so up in the air and confusing. I want her to wake up so much. I wasted so much time being angry with her, rejecting her. I'd give everything to take all of this back."

***

Leah finished her shift at the Diner and headed home. Joey had come in earlier to say that she was spending the evening with Aden and that it was likely to be a late one so she was on her own for the evening. VJ was having a sleep over for a friend's birthday party. She'd arranged with Morag to go and visit on Friday afternoon and she wasn't sure if she was dreading it or looking forward to it. She knew a lot of people would be stopping by the hospital and that many of them, herself included, were visiting in order to say goodbye before it was too late.

***

"So, come on then," Aden said with a smirk. "If I'm best mates with a lesbian, I'm sure I deserve all the naughty details. Because the image of you and Charlie... hot!"

They both laughed and she playfully slapped his shoulder.

"I'm not telling you anything!" she said. "Except that yeah, it was really, really hot!"

He laughed.

"Oh, I can picture it!"

"Aden!" Joey squealed.

She was sure that only he could get away with such comments.

"Charlie will always be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," she said, suddenly serious. "And for the short time we were together, before it all went wrong, it was perfect. She was perfect. I loved her so much and once she'd got her head around us, or once I thought she had... being together was just amazing."

She gazed wistfully into the distance and finished the last of her second drink.

"She was so frightened because she'd never been with a woman before and I was so frightened because of what had happened to me before. But it was beautiful. She was so gentle, Aden, so loving. That first night was the best night of my life."

She smiled at the memory of being allowed to claim Charlie as all her own. Gathering herself together, she took a breath and glanced at her friend.

"Plus it was hot as hell," she smirked, not wanting to get too deep and meaningful.

They both chuckled.

"I can imagine!" he said.

Joey grinned at him and opened two new beers.

***

"What did she change in her will?" Ross asked.

The two of them had moved to the couch and Ross was still fretting over his new knowledge.

"She wanted to give Joey a share of everything she had."

"Joey?" Ross said in surprised.

Morag nodded and took a deep breath.

"I think she was in love with her," she said.

"You think Joey's in love with Charlie?"

He felt a little flummoxed but if it was true, it would make sense, considering she'd come all that way when she heard she was in trouble.

"Yes. But I think Charlie loved her too," Morag elaborated.

He looked even more surprised.

"Charlie's never shown any signs of being..."

He gazed into his wife's eyes.

"Why do you think that?" he asked.

"Charlie wrote to Joey instead of Angelo. She wrote her into her will. She broke down just talking about her that day. And Joey came running faster than should have been humanly possible. And Angelo's becoming more and more insecure over her every day," Morag explained.

She was met with thoughtful silence.

"Well, I guess we'd better invite her round and get to know her better then," Ross decided.

***

Ruby and Geoff gazed into each other's eyes for a long time. They'd talked a lot about Charlie and about Joey and Angelo and now they were finally forcing themselves to talk about each other. Ruby turned away and fiddled with her fingers in her lap, feeling nervous and shy.

"I don't regret kissing you," she admitted.

"Well, I... I um... I don't regret kissing you," he replied.

They smiled at each other.

"And... and I'd like to kiss you again if you'd let me," he admitted.

Ruby moved towards him, capturing his lips with hers.

***

Xavier said goodnight to Hugo and Martha and hurried to his bedroom. He was feeling particularly bitter about Ruby this evening and with Charlie's situation still on everyone's mind, he surprised himself by feeling angry with her. If it hadn't been for Charlie, he never would have lost Ruby. If she'd stayed quiet about her maternity then they wouldn't have started drifting apart. He felt terrible to feel angry with a woman in her state but he just couldn't help it.

***

"I just love her so much," Joey admitted.

They were on their fifth beer each and most of their snacks were gone.

"I know things turned to shit but those weeks... even before we got together, the good times... they were perfect. I got hurt over and over again when she kept pushing me away but the times when she held me close, they were the best moments of my life."

"How did you get together?" he asked.

"It took forever!" she chuckled. "She let me move in because I had nowhere else to go and she was looking after me and keeping me strong and happy. We spent so much time together and it just developed. We went out on Alf's boat and we were mucking around when we nearly kissed. I couldn't believe it and I guess she couldn't either. She freaked and ran off and wouldn't talk to me. That's when Robbo attacked me again."

She shuddered at the thought.

"I'd been trying to run away and he caught up with me but she saved my life. She held me and made me feel safe again but I knew it would only be temporary so I tried to skip town one more time. But then she came to find me and... she kissed me. And up until that point, it was the best kiss of my life. It was actually me who pulled away. I was so startled that this incredible, beautiful woman was kissing me, you know?"

"And that's how it happened?"

"No," Joey said sadly. "She went away for a bit to clear her head and came back to tell me she couldn't be with me, that she wasn't strong enough. But then when I was all set to leave and start again, I gave her one more chance to be with me and by some miracle she took it. And it was amazing. But then it was over."

"Because of Hugo," Aden said sadly.

"Part of me feels like it was my fault," Joey admitted. "If I hadn't pushed so hard, we might have waited until she was really ready. And if my damn brother hadn't found out... And then if I hadn't fled when I realised she'd cheated on me, then maybe we could have worked through it. Maybe then my last memory of her wouldn't have been of crying on the dock. Maybe if I'd have been here to take care of her, this wouldn't have happened. Things could have turned out differently."

Joey sighed and wiped away her tears.

"Maybe I could have saved her," she said sadly. "I'll never forgive myself for letting her down."

"Joey, you weren't to know what was going to happen," Aden told her. "You were hurting. She'd dragged you through all this trauma, granted you a dream come true and then took it away from you. Of course you wanted to get away from her. Of course you needed space. Of course you had to look after yourself, Joey, protect yourself."

Joey sighed and nodded but she still felt sick with regret.

***

Angelo drove Watson home and then headed to his lonely apartment. He and Charlie had hardly spent every night together but his apartment still felt full of her. Every room had a memory that he was desperate to hold onto. Sighing, he sank down onto the couch and turned the television on preparing to fall asleep in front of it if he was lucky. He always felt like he had so much on his mind.

***

Hugo and Martha lay side by side in bed.

"I know it sounds heartless but if she's going to die, I wish she'd just do it already," Hugo admitted.

Martha looked up sharply.

"The longer she's unconscious, the more chance there is that she'll get better," she insisted.

Hugo shifted onto his side and held onto Martha's hand.

"She's not going to get better, Martha," he said. "We all just need to face it. Charlie's suicide pledge was successful."

***

Charlie lay in her hospital bed. As usual, she breathed and as usual, the machine's beeped. Inside and outside, she was shrouded in darkness, wandering through an oblivion that seemed as if it would never end.

***

Irene smiled to herself as she trotted back up the stairs. She'd started to head towards the kitchen for a glass of water when she'd spotted Ruby and Geoff kissing on the sofa. Knowing that the pair had been fighting their feelings for weeks, she was glad they'd finally realised that they belonged together.

***

"Tell me about Belle," Joey requested.

Aden drew in a sharp breath and immediately opened their seventh beer. The night was drawing on and their world was lit by moonlight alone. The air was clear and fresh and although they had been talking a lot about Charlie and the obvious grief that surrounded her, they were having a nice time.

"I've shared my pain," Joey nudged. "Your turn."

It had been therapeutic for Joey to talk about Charlie. It wasn't a part of her life she had had the opportunity to share with many other people. And Aden had always been the perfect listener.

"What is there to say?" he said sadly. "I feel like my life's over because hers is. Every day I wake up and feel like I've lost her all over again. Every day I think my heart's breaking more instead of starting to heal. And you're the first person I've really opened up to about it."

He rested his head on Joey's shoulder.

"That's a start," she said gently.

He took a deep breath and began to tell her about the first moment he'd fallen in love with his Belle and didn't stop talking until he'd begun to cry over her departure from the world.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-One**

Aden blinked open his eyes in the early morning sunshine, confused for a moment as to where he was. His head was rested on something soft and warm. Sitting up he blushed, realising that he'd fallen asleep against Joey's cleavage on the deck of the trawler. She opened her eyes and smirked at him before stretching and yawning loudly.

"Count yourself special," she said. "You're the only boy I've ever spent the night with!"

He laughed. It had been a good night's sleep. He'd felt comforted and safe and, for the first time in a long time, he hadn't felt lonely. Suddenly having a completely platonic, lesbian best friend felt like the best thing in the world.

***

Angelo was nervous as he sat beside Charlie's bedside. She looked the same as she had the previous day, although her hair was losing its shine quickly. He wondered if he might get the chance to wash her hair this time around, although he didn't like the idea of copying perfect Joey's perfect idea.

"Hey, Charlie," he said.

His body was tense and his palms were sweating. He sat down.

"You'd think this would be easier because you're in a coma," he ventured. "But it's not."

He cleared his throat and then took a deep breath.

"Charlie, I love you so much. And I can't bear the thought of ever losing you. So... um... so when you wake up, I want to marry you," he told her. "I want us to be together for the rest of our lives and I want our lives to be long and happy."

He took the ring box out of his pocket and opened it up, showing the diamond jewellery inside to her as if she could see it. He picked up Charlie's hand and slipped the ring on her finger, hoping that when she woke up, she'd keep it there and agree to be his wife.

***

Geoff was late getting to work and then stunned when he found that the trawler wasn't there. He'd assumed that Aden would be angry with him, not that he would have gone out without him. They struggled to get the job done with two of them so one would be impossible. Sighing, he looked out at the horizon and was relieved when he spotted the trawler moving slowly towards him.

***

Ross and Morag arrived at the Intensive Care Unit to see Charlie for an hour before visiting hours closed. Every day felt harder. Every day, they wondered if it would be their last time. Whenever the phone rang, they panicked that it would be the hospital saying that Charlie was gone and they were fearful of the Doctor approaching them to ask them if they were prepared to switch the machines off. They made brief small talk with Angelo and then settled into their usual places. Morag immediately noticed the ring on Charlie's finger. She pointed it out to her husband and neither thought it appropriate.

"A woman is only supposed to wear the ring if she's _accepted _the engagement," Morag frowned. "And how's Joey going to feel?"

Ross sighed.

"I suppose he's just doing what he thinks is right but..."

Morag trailed off unhappily. Charlie's machines beeped on.

***

Joey arrived back at home. Aden had dropped her off on shore, squabbled with Geoff unnecessarily and then they'd started work. Letting herself in through the door, Joey made small talk with Leah, explaining that she'd slept on the boat. She moved towards the stairs to go up for a shower but paused near Charlie's closed door. She moved closer and turned the handle. Everything was tidy, just as she'd left it during that first week but she was hit with a wave of sadness. Closing the door behind her, Joey moved to lie on the bed. Resting on the pillow, she breathed in deeply. There was a faint smell of Charlie but she knew it was really the washing powder that felt familiar. Tears sprung from her eyes, surprising her.

"Oh, Charlie," she whispered. "Please, please don't die."

***

Ruby felt moderately cheerier and for that she felt guilty. She was happy because she and Geoff had finally decided to make a go of things but with Charlie on the brink of death, she was certain she shouldn't feel happy about anything. She'd shared her news with Annie and Nicole and both were glad that they'd finally taken the plunge. But they'd immediately picked up on her guilt and attempted to reassure her that it was acceptable to fall in love, even at a time like this. Taking a deep breath, she texted Geoff and asked him to come with her to the hospital to visit Charlie.

***

Joey woke from her nap when her mobile rang. She answered sleepily.

"Hi, Joey, it's Ross," said a male voice.

She sat bolt upright, immediately worried.

"Is Charlie okay?" she asked.

"Yes. Well, no... I mean, there's no change. I was... I was calling to invite you round to dinner this evening."

Joey was surprised but felt touched by the offer and immediately agreed.

"Great," Ross said. "Well, we'll see you at five thirty?"

"That sounds great," Joey said. "Would you like me to bring anything?"

"Just yourself," Ross told her.

***

Geoff picked up his message from Ruby as soon as he got back to land. He felt a mix of worry and happiness at being included in the most difficult part of her every day life. He knew that she had rejected Xavier's offer to visit Charlie with her when they were together so the invitation now was fairly telling. He wanted to go with her. He wanted to be supportive. Although it did suddenly mean that they were really in a serious relationship. He was glad but it was a surprise.

***

Joey sat and stared at Charlie's ringed hand for a long time. She had a fairly long visit today and while she would normally twitter on and on about random things, right now she couldn't stop thinking about the ring. It was quite obviously a sign of engagement and it sent her mind into a spin. Had Angelo asked and assumed the answer would be yes even though Charlie was in a coma? Or had he asked before Charlie had attempted suicide and decided to put the ring on during the coma? Had Charlie said yes? When she woke up, would she see the ring, fall in love with Angelo once and for all and say yes then? Would the ring eradicate the letter? Joey dug Charlie's goodbye note out of her back pocket. She sat back in her chair and began to read Charlie's words out loud back to her, suddenly feeling the need to remind the woman she loved of exactly what she'd chosen her last words as.

***

"You seem a bit happier today," Watson said.

Angelo nodded.

"Yeah, for some reason I'm feeling more positive," he told her. "I really feel like Charlie's going to defy the odds and wake up. I really feel like she and I have a future together. We're going to be okay, Watson. I know it."

***

Ross and Morag had gone shopping and were now busy cooking up a storm in the kitchen. The more Ross thought about it, the more he hoped the evening would go well. They were intent on asking her about her relationship with Charlie and letting her know that should Charlie wake up and want to be with her, they would be fully supportive of the relationship. It was testament to Joey's love for Charlie that she came running all that way and her commitment to visits and her care for Ruby was admirable. Both not so secretly hoped that Charlie would choose Joey if she were to come round. They were certain that she was much better for her than Angelo was.

***

"Okay, I'd better go, sweetheart," Joey said.

She'd cried again as she'd re-read the letter. It sounded different out loud somehow. Fortunately, she'd gathered herself together already and she was back in control.

"Your Dad and Morag have invited me round to dinner," she told her. "I hope I'm not in trouble or anything!"

She laughed softly and stood, moving, as ever, to kiss Charlie's forehead and say goodbye.

"I'll be back tomorrow," she promised. "And a load of other people will be coming to say hi too. You'll get to see Watson and Leah and Miles. They all ask about you every day."

She kissed Charlie one more time and then departed, smiling when she saw both Ruby and Geoff in the waiting room. Hugging Charlie's daughter and saying hello to Geoff, she couldn't help but voice her assumption that the pair had finally got together. Ruby blushed and said yes, clutching her new boyfriend's hand.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Joey said, waving goodbye to them and then to Rebecca as she left the hospital.

Ruby and Geoff headed on into the side room. Ruby kissed her mother's cheek and sat down. Geoff hovered behind her uncertainly. Ruby told him to pull up a chair. He moved awkwardly around the room and picked up the spare chair, positioning it next to his girlfriend.

"I've brought Geoff to see you," Ruby ventured, gazing at Charlie. "We're together now, like I told you I wanted to be. Cool, hey? I hope you get to hang out with us soon. I hope you'll see us as a couple, Charlie. I hope you'll be happy for us when you wake up."

***

"We were wondering," Ross ventured. "Were you and Charlie once an item?"

Joey's mouth hung open and she stuttered in surprise, unsure what the right answer ought to be.

"Well, um... I... we... uh..."

Ross and Morag both smiled.

"It's okay," Morag told her. "We'd be happy about it if you were."

"Well, uh..."

Joey settled on nodding.

"We split a few months ago."

"Why?" Morag asked.

Joey swallowed. She didn't want to say anything bad about Charlie.

"It just wasn't... we weren't... She wasn't ready to be with me," she said. "It was hard for her to deal with being attracted to a woman."

Ross nodded and admitted that the news had been a surprise.

"How did you find out?" Joey asked. "Have I been blindingly obvious? I didn't mean to. I just wanted to be there for her."

"Well, not exactly," Morag ventured. "I mean, your devotion to her has been pretty clear. To come all this way and everything as soon as you found out. But also, she mentioned you in her will and she spoke about you with a lot of emotion."

"And I seem to remember her coming to visit earlier in the year," Ross added. "She talked a lot about you then."

Joey allowed herself a small smile, wondering what had been said, during what she presumed was the visit she'd made when they'd kissed that first time.

"We didn't really notice anything at the time," Ross ventured. "But retrospectively, she was so happy and yet so lost whenever she was talking about you. It seemed like she loved you."

"I like to think she did."

"And now?"

Joey exhaled thoughtfully.

"Now... it would be a dream come true if she were to wake up and be with me again. I fell in love with her pretty much immediately. You see... we met because... well, she was helping me. I'd been attacked and she got me through it. Honestly, Mr Buckton, your daughter was an angel. She was so kind to me. She saved my life, literally and figuratively. You would have been so proud of her. It didn't work out but... she'll always be the best thing that ever happened to me."

Ross was transfixed, appreciating the fact that he was being let into a part of his child's life that he hadn't known about.

"And I realise the chances are that she'll come round and still not be ready, still want to be with Angelo but..."

Joey sighed.

"I'll accept it. All I want is for her to be happy and healthy. I just want the best for her. If it's me, I'll be overjoyed. If it's him, I'll support her. I'd pretty much give up anything in order to make her well again."


	22. Chapter 22

_Okay, so I'm posting an extra chapter because I am sooooo happy! I finally finished my novel and I've spent the day compiling a list of publishers to get in touch with. However, this is a weird story to celebrate with! But it was by request and I've never been one to break a promise. I just needed to warn you that this chapter is probably the darkest one I've written in the story so far as it's an insight into Charlie's last day. So, please be warned. It was kind of upsetting to write so I don't know how it reads. But I hope it's okay. Love, IJKS xxx_

***

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

_That fateful weekend..._

Charlie woke on Saturday morning having cried herself to sleep. Thoughts had rushed through her mind like a hurricane and she felt sick. She reached into her drawer and pulled out the photographs Robertson had given her of Angelo and the strippers. He wasn't in uniform. There was no evidence at all to suggest that he was working. And if he wasn't working, what had he been doing? She sighed and dropped the photos onto the floor, squeezing her eyes shut in order to avoid tears. Forcing herself out of bed, she stumbled and bumped into her bedside table. The photograph of her and Ruby fell face down. She picked it up quickly. It felt like all she had left of her daughter. Resisting the urge to open up the back of it and see Joey's perfect face smiling out at her, she righted the frame, pulled on her robe and headed out of her bedroom door to use the bathroom and wash her face. Making her way from the bathroom to the kitchen in need of strong coffee, she was pleased to find Leah making breakfast.

"Morning!" her housemate chirped.

"Hey," Charlie said.

Leah saw how tired her friend looked and ordered her to sit down while she fixed her some breakfast.

"What are you up to today?" Leah asked as she busied herself.

Charlie sighed. It was going to be a long day. Having stayed up for most of the night, she'd made a big but difficult decision.

"I was after a favour actually," she said.

Leah turned and eyed her curiously.

"I rewrote my will last night," Charlie ventured, hoping that she wouldn't arouse any suspicion. "I was hoping to get Morag to make it all official. If I can find some time with her today, would you be a witness?"

"Sure," Leah said, presenting Charlie with coffee and toast. "VJ's at Stella's all weekend and I've got the day off so just let me know a time."

"Great," Charlie said with a forced smile. "Thanks."

There hadn't been much to change in her will but the small change that was there was important to her. When she'd originally written it a few years ago, she'd left everything she owned to Ruby. Now, most of it was going to Ruby and a portion was to be given to Joey. She felt she owed it to her to do something nice as her final goodbye after hurting the deckhand so badly. Betraying Joey was yet another thing that Charlie couldn't bear to live with. It was one of many things, one of several mistakes she'd made that were impossible to rectify.

***

After breakfast, Charlie headed back to her room. It was still early but she knew Morag was also an early riser so she called the house and they arranged to meet there at one o'clock with Leah in order to process Charlie's will. Morag had asked why it was so urgent but Charlie feigned a compulsive but believable need to get everything sorted and let nothing fester. Curling up on her bed with a pad of paper and a pen in front of her, she sighed and puzzled over exactly how to address Joey in her letter. Settling on 'My Dearest Joey', she stopped and wondered what on earth she could say to the girl she loved so much but had destroyed in the process of destroying herself. She picked up the frame on the side and popped out the back, looking at her ex-girlfriend's beautiful face in a bid for inspiration. Tears welled in her eyes. She placed the picture on the mattress and began to write.

***

Charlie's mobile rang the second that she sealed the envelope. She frowned when she saw Angelo's name flash up on screen. It was as if he knew that she was writing to say goodbye to Joey and not him. Staring at the screen, she wondered if she ought to say goodbye to him too. But she didn't know what to say. She had no idea how she felt about him now. She barely knew who he was anymore. She silenced the call and pulled out her laptop from under her bed. She knew the name of the trawler company that Joey had left with and she'd found out the postal address right after Joey had sailed away from her. Until now, she hadn't written. She hadn't known what to say to her then either. But now she knew. She had to say everything. There was only one chance. Finding the website with the address on it again, Charlie scribbled it down onto the envelope and rose to find a stamp. With the letter all ready and only a couple of hours left until she had to see Morag, Charlie headed into the shower for a quick wash. As soon as she was clean and dressed, she grabbed the letter and jumped into the car in order to go to the post office before it closed. Ensuring that it would be signed for and guaranteed for delivery, Charlie headed back to Summer Bay, passing the police station on the way and being hit with a wave of sadness over her job, her life and her broken relationships.

***

"So, who is this Joanne Collins?" Morag asked.

Leah remained silent. Once upon a time, Charlie would have tensed at the question but now she just felt flat and empty.

"She's an old friend," she said. "If something were to happen to me, I'd want her to know. And I'd want to leave her something. She's out at sea right now on a fishing trawler and she told me that her dream is to run her own one day. It'd give her some savings towards starting her own business."

Just thinking about Joey brought her to tears. She wiped them away quickly. Morag nodded and pretended not to notice. Leah forced herself not to comfort her housemate. She didn't want to be the one to blurt out the truth about Charlie and Joey's relationship to Morag. So far, not even Colleen had spilled the beans.

"Okay," Morag said. "Well, that's it all done then."

Charlie plastered a smile onto her face.

"Great," she said. "Thank you."

Morag invited them both to stay to lunch and while Leah declined, Charlie readily agreed. It felt right to spend time with the people she loved one last time before it was too late.

***

After lunch, Charlie drove out to the city to see her father. It was a nice afternoon and they had fun together. It almost, for a few moments, felt like there was nothing wrong. On the way home, avoiding several calls from Angelo who appeared to not be getting the message, Charlie stopped off at the chemist to buy medication and then stopped for some food at the Diner before returning home. She headed straight into her room and crawled beneath the blankets and wept. The day had been emotionally exhausting, even though everyone she had seen hadn't had a clue what she was planning. She stayed up, attempting to formulate a goodbye to Ruby but nothing came. She fretted again and again over whether she had said everything right to Joey. All she could hope for now was some kind of forgiveness. Deciding that as it was her last night, she made herself a hot chocolate and attempted to sleep well.

***

Charlie woke early the next morning. Her dreams had been a mix of her history with Grant, Ruby hating her, Joey hating her and Angelo having some kind of secret life behind her back. She woke up tearful but more certain than ever that this would be it. Without rising, Charlie started and finished her letter to Ruby. Her plan was to keep it in the room so whoever found her, would be able to hand it over to her. She hung around the house, mostly in her bedroom for the day. Leah had been up and out early and she felt sad not to say goodbye to her or VJ. She pottered around, making her room immaculate before driving out to the off licence and buying a large bottle of vodka. She stopped off and bought more medication, finally satisfied that she had a good supply. Hiding all her items in the boot, she stopped at Irene's house and knocked tentatively on the door. She heard the television and Ruby laughing. She thought her heart might burst by the time her daughter opened up.

"Hi," Ruby said.

She didn't look unhappy to see her but she had stopped laughing and smiling.

"Hi," Charlie said. "Are you busy?"

"Well, uh... Geoff just got a pizza and a DVD."

"Right," Charlie said quietly, desperately disappointed.

There were two people in the world that she'd wanted to see the most. She wasn't allowed to see Joey. And now Ruby obviously didn't have time.

"Is everything okay?" Ruby asked, noting her sad expression and the hefty bags under her eyes.

"Yeah," Charlie said. "Yeah. I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out for a bit."

"Um..."

Charlie sighed.

"It's okay if you're busy," she said.

"It's just that... I mean, it's not that I don't want to. I just... with the pizza and everything..." Ruby replied awkwardly.

"Don't worry about it," Charlie said.

"Maybe tomorrow?" Ruby suggested.

"Sure," Charlie agreed, with no intention of sticking to the plan. "I just... I wanted to tell you how much I love you."

"I love you too," Ruby said, although the words didn't come as easy as they once had.

Charlie nodded. She gave Ruby one last longing look and then turned away. Ruby watched her go and then shut the door, ready to return to her evening. Charlie drove back home. She made herself a snack and found Leah on the couch in front of the television.

"Hey," the businesswoman greeted. "Did you have a good day?"

"It was okay," Charlie lied.

It had been horrible from the start and she was painfully aware that it would only get worse.

"I'm heading for a shower and an early night," she said.

"Okay," Leah said. "Sleep well. See you in the morning."

She turned back to the TV and Charlie trudged into her room. She placed the kitchen knife on the bedside table alongside her vodka bottle and all the pills she'd bought over the last couple of days. She sighed and munched her sandwich. Toying with the knife, she sat in her lamp lit room, staring at the walls enclosing her and ignoring yet more calls from Angelo. Turning her mobile phone off, she headed into the bathroom and locked the door. Turning on the shower, she stripped off and stepped under the spray. She closed her eyes under the warmth and blobbed shampoo into her hair. She scrubbed every inch of her body, shaving appropriately and ensuring she was completely clean and perfect. She couldn't help but feel that having as attractive a corpse as possible was important. Finally satisfied that her skin was clean and her hair was shiny, she headed back into her room. She considered pyjamas but decided on day clothes – jeans and a t-shirt with matching bra and pants. She sat on the edge of the bed and put Eeyore socks on. Hearing Leah go to bed, Charlie stood and left the room in order to wash her plate up. She headed back to bed and sat down, picking up the knife with tears in her eyes. Lying back against the pillows, she opened the bottle and took a swig. She pulled a face at the taste and set it back down on the bedside table. Slowly and carefully, she took each pill out of its packet and placed them in front of her. Tearfully, she gazed at the photo of Ruby and pictured the one of Joey behind it. Weeping harder and beginning to feel slightly out of control and overwrought with grief, she picked up the bottle again and began to swallow each pill one by one. It didn't take long to start feeling sick. Bile rose up in her throat but she swallowed it back down, determined not to thwart the plan she'd decided on a couple of day before. This was it. There was no turning back now. She drank more vodka and began to feel more and more hazy as the alcohol and drugs began to take effect. She wondered if it would be painful just as her tummy began to convulse in agony. She again fought the need to vomit and stay in control. Tears constantly escaped her. Picking up the knife, shaking and sobbing, she went to work on her wrists. It hurt. But she continued and watched the blood. She glanced at the clock and wondered where the time had gone. It was already four in the morning. Her stomach convulsed and she cried out, falling back on her bed feeling completely immobile. Three hours later, she still lay there, suffering but sure she had failed and she wasn't dying. She reached for the knife again, casting a final glance at the photo of Ruby. She wept as she thought about her daughter and her ex-girlfriend. She pointed the knife at the organ that always messed her up and let her down – her heart. After a few moments, everything went black.


	23. Chapter 23

_Okay, so I doubt I need to warn you, considering the subject matter for this story, but this is a pretty sad chapter. But we will soon be reaching the climax of this story so I hope you continue reading. I know some people are frustrated – but that's pretty much the point, to get lost in something you can't control. To wait. It's frustrating for me too! But thank you for your patience and all your lovely reviews. They really mean the world to me. And if you want to cheer yourselves, read the short fic I just posted, 'Because I Broke Mine as Well'. Shameless self-promotion, I know but hey, if you can't advertise yourself...! Love, IJKS xxx_

***

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

The light had changed. Something was different. Charlie didn't know what it was or where she ought to go. To her right was a dimness that both scared and intrigued her. To her left was a brighter light, enticing but also frightening. She paused, wondering where she ought to float next. What would become of her now?

***

Angelo, Joey, Ruby, Morag and Ross were seated in the relatives' room, waiting for the Doctor to speak.

"We ran some more tests on Charlie this morning," he said.

Rebecca sat next to him. She'd requested to be part of the meeting, feeling close to the family and wanting to support them.

"The problem is that Charlie's body is shutting down. There's nothing even specifically wrong with her. It's that her organs are limited in their activity. They're fighting so hard to keep her alive that they're not functioning well enough to keep her awake. She damaged her heart with the medication and with the knife. We fixed the small tear with surgery on that first day but if she were to pull through all of this, she'd always be at risk of heart trouble."

He took a deep breath.

"Why can't she just get better?" Ruby asked.

It was a simple but difficult question.

"I mean, if she rests enough, won't her body heal again?" Ruby said. "Isn't it just a case of time?"

The Doctor shook his head.

"I don't see how things are going to get better," he said. "If they were going to, the assumption would be that they would have done already. It's like... it's like her body has gone into a kind of shock. She can't seem to pull herself out of it. Her body doesn't want to work, her brain doesn't want to live. I'm really so sorry but I think it's time for you all to start saying your goodbyes."

Ruby squeaked, sounding frightened and in pain. Joey put her arm around her and tried not to cry. The Doctor apologised again.

"We'll give you some time," he said, nudging Rebecca out of the room.

***

Ross and Morag sat outside in the waiting room while Angelo went inside to talk to Charlie. Ruby, who had decided not to attend school that day headed out of the hospital with Joey. Joey was due to return at two o'clock in the afternoon and Ruby was planning on visiting at five. They decided to head down to the beach together and take in some sunshine while they talked through the latest turn of events. Inside Charlie's hospital room, Angelo held his girlfriend's hand. Tears spilled unashamedly from his eyes and sobs wracked his body. He clutched her tightly and pressed his lips against the back of her hand.

"Charlie, please don't go," he begged. "Please, please, if you can hear me... please don't walk away. Please wake up."

He touched the ring he'd placed on her finger, so desperate for her to open her eyes and accept his proposal.

"Charlie, you have to wake up. You have to make things right again. I can't... I can't lose you."

***

On the beach, Joey and Ruby sat side by side in silence. They stared out at the waves, neither sure what they could bear to say about Charlie. Each day that passed, brought them closer to losing her and it was destroying them both.

***

"Charlie, I need to tell you..." Angelo ventured. "All of this... it's my fault. If I hadn't... then you wouldn't have..."

He sobbed harder and pressed his forehead against Charlie's lifeless hand.

"I killed Grant," he said.

He looked back up at her and into her sleeping face.

"I didn't mean to!" he said quickly, as if she could really hear him. "I met up with him in order to warn him away and it all got out of hand. I covered my tracks because I just can't bear to wreck everything I've built here. It wasn't... it wasn't like killing Jack. It was still an accident but when he died, I felt terrible. With Grant... I don't. I know I should but then I think about everything he did to you, the misery he made your life, the way he damaged your soul. I... I was just trying to protect you, Charlie. Please... please don't leave me now."

***

Charlie felt pulled towards the light. She was sure it was more peaceful there. The darkness represented reality, the pain of being pulled back into life. The more each moment passed, she was starting to remember herself and her life and everything she wanted to get away from. She floated a little to her left, desperate to draw away but still feeling unsure.

***

Once Angelo had left, Ross had stepped inside, politely asking his wife if he might go in alone. Morag had agreed and remained in her seat, opting to go in and see her step-daughter afterwards. They may have had their ups and downs in the past but she loved her. She'd supported her through the murder investigation. She just wished she had been able to see her through in a happier way.

"I'll catch you later," Angelo said. "Call me if there's any news."

Morag nodded and watched him leave. The door to Charlie's room closed. Ross took a deep breath and approached his daughter's side. She looked like she was dead. Moving to his usual seat on the other side of the bed, he dared not touch her.

"Charlie, you're stronger than this," he said. "I know you can pull through. I know that everything will be alright. You're my baby girl and no father should lose his daughter. You're meant to outlive me, Charlie. You're meant to look after me when I'm not capable of looking after myself!"

He sighed heavily.

"Please don't leave us now. I need to... I need to tell you that I'm sorry. And I need to tell you face to face. If I... if I'd have gone after that evil boy at the time, if we'd have pressed charges, if I'd have protected you the way I was supposed to, none of this would ever have happened. You wouldn't have been so broken. If you hadn't been accused of murder then I am certain you would have been able to cope with the other things. Well, there might not have been half the other things to deal with. Ruby and you might not have fallen out and... well, I don't know what happened between you and Joey but perhaps things could have worked out for you. And you wouldn't have been in a position to need to distrust Angelo."

He touched her cold palm.

"I wish I'd have killed him," Ross admitted. "I wish I could have done that for you, Charlie. I let you down. Again. Please wake up and give me the chance to make things right. Please let me tell you face to face just how much I love you and just how proud I have always been of you."

***

Charlie paused in her migration to the light. She felt drastically pulled back towards the dark but she didn't know why. Confusion plagued her and she stopped very still, wondering what she ought to do now.

***

Morag stood up and gathered her husband into her arms when he tearfully left his daughter's room. She held him close and made sure he was okay before she sat him down and prepared to see Charlie herself. Rebecca stepped out from behind the nurse's station with a glass of water and sat with her patient's father, wanting to make sure he was okay. Morag entered the room and shut the door. She stood over Charlie and silently pleaded with her to pull through. The once strong and able police officer suddenly looked so tiny and fragile in the bed.

"Charlie," she said. "Charlie, you have to realise that your life means more than this."

***

Ruby and Joey turned lunch down. Neither of them could bear to eat. Both felt sick with distress.

"Do you think she'd like to be buried in her uniform?" Ruby wondered.

She quickly wiped her eyes.

"I don't know," Joey admitted. "Maybe. They do that a lot, don't they? Cops?"

Ruby nodded.

"Jack had a proper police funeral," she said. "Charlie went all dressed in her smartest uniform. Not the every day one. The formal one. I don't know what Jack was buried in but maybe Charlie would like that. Her job meant everything to her."

Joey struggled with her own tears, wondering how on earth they had reached a place where they were talking about putting Charlie in the ground.

"Does she want to be buried?" she asked. "Did she ever say?"

"Not to me," Ruby said. "Maybe she'd like to be cremated. I don't know. I guess we'll have to talk to Ross and Morag and to Angelo, see if she ever expressed a preference."

Her heart ached at the thought of the mother she'd only ever known as a sibling, slip away. She hated the fact that there was not one single thing they could do.

***

Charlie began to navigate her way back to the light. She'd battled with images of faces of people she thought she ought to recognise and knew she knew but couldn't name. But it wasn't enough. She couldn't face the darkness. She couldn't pull through it and reach the other side. It was too much for her.

***

Watson stared into space at the Diner. Her coffee had long since gone cold and she hadn't touched her salad. She was due to go and say goodbye to Charlie, her friend, her boss and her colleague at three o'clock and she wasn't sure she could bear to face the facts. She didn't know if it would be easier or harder to see her frail and in hospital and hooked up to so many machines, than it was to see her bleeding and dying, broken in her bed on that fateful day. Watson felt like her life had been changed by Charlie's. And she was sure her death would change her more. Across the room, working behind the counter, Leah was struggling to keep a smile on her face as she served her customers. Her visit would be at half past three and she felt sick about it. She'd visited once since Charlie had made an attempt on her life and that had been hard enough. To go and say goodbye to her housemate and her friend now, felt too much.

***

At two o'clock promptly, Joey was by Charlie's side. Her tears began before her words did as she clung to Charlie's hand and begged her to stay alive.

"Please fight this," she said. "Please do whatever necessary to pull through and live out the rest of your life. Don't... don't make me lose you all over again."

***

Charlie paused, conflicted. The pull towards the darkness was back and stronger than ever. She pictured the face of a beautiful woman, a woman she couldn't place but knew she loved. She changed direction, floating a little faster, still not sure where she was going or how she could survive.

***

Joey forced herself to pull herself together just before three when she knew a friend from Charlie's work would be coming in to say goodbye. She wiped her face, hot with desperate tears and stood up.

"Please don't break our hearts," she whispered. "We need you."

She aimed her kiss at Charlie's mouth for a change and forced herself away. She smiled politely at Watson and Rebecca in the waiting room and then hurried out of the building. When she was due to go to the hospital, she had called Geoff and convinced him to take the afternoon off and look after his girlfriend. He had readily agreed and Aden had understood. Feeling secure that her beloved's daughter was safe, Joey headed for home. All she wanted to do was curl up and go to sleep.

***

Watson approached Charlie's bedside. It was her first and last visit and she felt afraid. Through all the things she'd seen in her line of work, this was one of the hardest. Charlie looked so broken and lost. It was hard to bear.

"Hi, boss," she said awkwardly.

The silence, interrupted only by gentle beeping and breathing, sounded deafening. She surveyed the room. Charlie was tucked up beneath the sheets with a teddy bear peeping out from each side. The one of the other side was easy to miss but Watson was studying closely and taking everything in. There were a couple of bunches of flowers on the bedside table along with a pot plant and a photograph of Charlie and Ruby. A pair of slippers had been tucked beneath the bed, as if waiting for the police officer to wake and wander around in them. Watson sighed and sank into a chair, with no idea of what to say.

***

"Leah, could you please bring Senior Constable Buckton this card from me?" Colleen asked, offering it up to Leah who smiled and accepted it.

"Of course I will," she promised.

Irene wished her luck and Leah took a deep breath and prepared to leave.

***

The pull towards the darkness was still there but wasn't as strong, leaving Charlie moving even slowly and more uncertain. She tried to bring up the image of the girl again but she was lost, making Charlie lose faith in what she needed and wanted to do.

***

Leah swapped shifts with Watson and took a seat beside her friend.

"How are you?" she asked, secretly hoping for some kind of answer.

She sighed and dug around in her bag.

"Colleen sent a card for you," she said.

She toyed with the envelope and then decided to open it, although she didn't have permission from her colleague. Inside was a sweet 'get well' card. She read the message aloud.

"Dear Charlie," she said. "I don't think I've ever called you by your first name to your face and it seems sad to do so now but I will. I hear that you're leaving us and I can't even begin to tell you how sad we all feel about it. I don't know if you ever realised but you have touched all our lives greatly. We love you and we miss you and we need you. If you have the strength to come home, please do and we will all do everything we can to make your life happy again. But if it's too late and you need to rest, well, I pray that you go in peace. All my love, Colleen."

Leah swallowed, touched by how sensitive her friend could actually be when the occasion called for it. She placed the card on the bedside table next to Joey's plant.

"And VJ drew you a picture," Leah said, taking it out. "It's of our family. It's me and him and you and Ruby and... and Joey. He's written that he loves you. I'll... I'll put it here for you."

She placed it next to the card and sighed heavily.

"Please don't do this, Charlie. Please come home."

***

It was four o'clock when Martha arrived to say goodbye to Charlie. The pair had very briefly fallen out when Charlie had begun dating Angelo and when Martha had agreed to let Ruby stay with her when she fell out with her family. But at the heart of it, the pair had been good friends and Martha knew only too well what it was like to lose someone close to her. She felt sad about losing Charlie, for the way her friend's life had turned out. Hugo had opted not to come with her to say goodbye. He said that he was fond of Charlie but didn't need to go to the hospital. He also didn't relish the thought of running into Joey. He was still smarting from their argument and he didn't want to make anything worse for her and Charlie's family. He had never seen a woman regret sex so much than that night Charlie had spent with him, causing her to lose the obvious love of her life. He couldn't help but wonder if Charlie was better off out of it, now that Angelo and Joey were quite obviously fighting over her.

***

Twenty minutes later, Irene replaced Martha at Charlie's sighed.

"Hello, love," she said. "I uh... I just wanted to say that I will do everything I can to look after Ruby. She misses you so much though. She needs you to come back to her. But if you can't... well, like I said, I'll do my best for her. And I know Geoff and all her friends will too."

***

Charlie felt torn. She was compelled towards the dark but it all seemed like so much effort. Hidden in the shadows, she knew there was a mountain to climb and she hardly had the strength. It seemed too much for her. The light was calling softly.

***

Angelo sat alone in his apartment, staring at the four walls. He'd taken the day off work and headed home, unable to deal with the grief of the day. He wondered what would happen next. Would they turn her machines off and watch her sink or swim? Whose decision would that be? How would any of them live without her?

***

Ross and Morag went round to visit Alf at the caravan park. He settled them down with cups of tea and felt a wave of sadness hit him as they explained how dire things were becoming as each moment passed. Nobody could bear to lose her.

***

Joey lay back against the pillows on Ruby's bed. The room had been her safe haven these past few weeks in much the same way Charlie's had been. She'd been tempted to go and sit in her ex-girlfriend's room but it had been too much. So now, she was curled up in Ruby's, clutching her letter and weeping without shame.

***

Miles offered a sad smile to Charlie and stood. It was five o'clock and Ruby was due in at any minute. He didn't want to steal any time from her but was glad to have been allowed to say goodbye. He'd spent the time with her, chatting about their friendship and how sad he was for her and how much they would all miss her if she died. He teased her about the kiss they had once shared in a hotel room in Melbourne. It had been a mistake but a funny one and it had brought them closer. He just hoped she would surprise them all and pull through.

***

Charlie felt pulled back towards the dark. If she had been capable of it, she would have cried. Her turmoil felt so great and she hardly knew what to do and how to feel. She pictured a beautiful, sobbing teenager, feeling close to her. She certainly knew she loved her and she wondered if she might be able to climb the mountain for her sake. But it seemed so hard. She didn't know if she could survive.

***

By her bedside, Ruby clung to Charlie for a whole hour, crying, begging and pleading with her to stay and not leave her all alone in the world.


	24. Chapter 24

_Okay, so this is a weird chapter to post when I am just off out to celebrate my birthday but hey ho. I am a stickler for the rules and this is next in line!_

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

Joey moved as if robotic on the day of the funeral. She felt sick and her stomach was in a knot. She showered, barely breathing and let the hot water burn her skin. Drying herself, she stepped into a suit she'd had to hurry out and buy. It didn't fit quite right and she felt self conscious. Leaving the safety of her bedroom, with Charlie's letter in her pocket, she stood and surveyed the lounge. VJ had been bundled to Stella's. Ruby, was seated on the sofa. She turned slowly, wearing a long, black dress. There were tears in her eyes. There was no sound. Joey swallowed and moved to sit beside her, not touching, still barely breathing. She was afraid that there was no air in the room. She was afraid that there would be no air in Charlie's coffin. They had dressed her in her police uniform and she'd looked smart. She'd looked asleep. Leah appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, holding empty cups. Her instinct was to make coffee and tea but nobody could swallow anything down. Angelo appeared as if from nowhere, tearful and smartly dressed. Ross and Morag were behind him. In silence, they waited. Nobody needed to speak when the hearse arrived. They moved as a group, all anger and bitterness between anybody was gone as they approached the door. Charlie's name was displayed in flowers. Joey stumbled and sobbed, falling to her knees.

***

Joey bolted awake, gasping for air. She couldn't catch her breath and jumped out of bed, pushing the window open wide and taking deep breaths. Fresh tears dripped onto the window sill. She felt confused and hardly knew who or where she was. Wiping her eyes, she returned to the bed, telling herself over and over again that she had not just been about to attend Charlie's funeral. She wasn't dead. She hadn't gone. She was still in hospital, fighting for her life. Despair and paranoia gripped her. It appeared to be the end of one hell of a day. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying and failing to centre herself. She hurriedly changed clothes, grabbed Charlie's letter and ran from the house.

***

Joey was breathless by the time she reached the Intensive Care Unit. She'd slowed to a brisk walk when she'd got inside the building but she had run miles between Charlie's home and Charlie's current resting place. Inhaling and exhaling as loudly as possible while she waited to be buzzed in, she approached the nurse's station, wishing that Rebecca worked nights.

"Can we help you?" another nurse, whose name she didn't know, asked.

"I need to... please... please can I see Charlie?" she asked.

A wave of tears hit her as the nurse explained she couldn't go in out of visiting hours.

"Please?" Joey begged. "Just for a few minutes? Please?"

The nurse studied her face and felt compassion.

"Let me just talk to the ward sister," she said. "Take a seat."

Joey sat in a plastic chair, with her head resting in her hands and her eyes peering through her fingers at Charlie's closed door. Her dream had frightened her almost as much as when she'd first realised that Charlie was in trouble. After what felt like hours, the nurse approached her and allowed her to have fifteen minutes with Charlie. Joey approached the room as calmly as possible. It felt strange to be relieved to see her beautiful darling lying unconscious on the bed. She rushed to her side and kissed her lips without shame. Her tears dropped delicately on Charlie's cheeks. Joey gently brushed them away and kissed both sides of her face.

"Please don't leave me, Charlie," she whispered, settling herself in the chair.

She lifted her hand carefully and held onto it, resting her head on the bed, burying herself ever so slightly in Charlie's side. She wept into the silence of the room, shaken over what might yet be.

***

"What should we do?" the nurse asked the ward sister.

They had both poked their heads around Charlie Buckton's door and found that her midnight visitor had cried herself to sleep.

"Technically we need to send her out," the ward sister replied.

She cast a compassionate gaze over Joey.

"But I guess she's not really doing any harm," she said.

"Shall we leave her?" the nurse asked.

The ward sister nodded and they slipped out of the room as quietly as they had come in.

***

Charlie was immersed in darkness. She wasn't moving. She didn't know where to turn. She felt pulled to continue but so much pain was frightening. She didn't understand whose pain it was or whether she could offer comfort or healing. She stayed put and tried to breathe wondering when this turmoil would pass.

***

_Okay, so I refer to this as the evil genius chapter! I had the idea when I was on the bus and it was really hard to write for obvious reasons but I hope you don't hate me too much for doing that to you and that you have hope for the future... Love, IJKS xx_


	25. Chapter 25

_And the momentum begins to build... Enjoy! Love, IJKS xx_

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

"What the hell are you doing?"

Joey jolted awake and stared blearily at Angelo who was towering above her looking furious.

"I..."

She forced herself to recall the events of the night before and her nightmare hit her like lightening.

"Well?" Angelo demanded.

His heart was racing. Once more, Joey had swooped in and got closer to Charlie than he had managed. He feared that if Charlie was to wake up, this kind of thing was a portent of the future.

"I came round last night..." she explained, not fully coherent. "And I guess I fell asleep."

"Very clever," he snapped, moving round to the other side of the bed, needing to get as far away from Joey as the small room would allow.

"What?" Joey asked, bewildered.

"Only you could manipulate a situation like this in order to get close to her..."

"I didn't," Joey protested.

"Well then how come you're the only person who can spend the night with her? With _my _girlfriend?" he asked.

Joey sighed. She looked down carefully at Charlie's sleeping form, only too aware of what an argument could induce.

"Look," she said, staring Angelo directly in the face. "I had a nightmare. I came over to the hospital to check that she was alright and I guess the nurses took pity on me and let me stay."

He opened his mouth to interrupt but she continued.

"So, why, instead of being rude to me and getting ridiculously insecure and jealous, you just be happy that Charlie had more company than she usually does?"

She bent and kissed Charlie's forehead without shame, promising to see her later and then turned and left without another word. Surprised to find himself trembling slightly, Angelo sank into a chair and buried his face into his palms, feeling bad for mishandling the situation yet again. He reached out for Charlie's hand and silently thanked her for not reaction to them this time.

***

Charlie fled the darkness and charged towards the light. There was too much pain. Too much confusion. Too many conflicting emotions. She'd had enough. Before she went too far, she stopped and became still again, deciding that it was too big a decision to make in haste. Entering the darkness or the light was a forever deal and she still hadn't made her mind up.

***

Monday rolled around and once again, Ross, Morag, Ruby, Joey and Angelo were crammed into the relative's room with Charlie's Doctor and nurse. Each relative was afraid that the next suggestion would be to turn off Charlie's life support machine. They were surprised when he broke into a smile. Ruby instinctively reached for Joey's hand, holding her tight.

"As you know, we ran some tests this morning," the Doctor began. "And we've got some good news."

"What is it?" Ruby squeaked.

"It seems that with a combination of rest and treatment, Charlie is starting to respond."

Joey thought she might cry from sheer relief.

"Her body is starting to repair itself and it looks like there is much more brain activity than there was before. I have to admit that I'm stunned. I thought it was over. But it looks like she might survive after all."

Ruby sank against Joey who held her tight. Ross turned to Morag. Angelo just stared ahead of him, suddenly picturing a perfect future with the woman he loved.

***

Ross and Morag sat in Charlie's room, talking to her with lifted spirits. They now had their heart set on Charlie waking up. Each held a hand and filled the room with their hopes and dreams that she would soon wake and be with them again. They were determined to make every pain in her life go away. The future was for loving and protecting her, making her want to live again.

***

Ruby had phoned Geoff on her way back to school and excitedly told him that it looked like Charlie had taken a turn for the better and that the Doctor was wondering if she might wake up after all. He'd been thrilled and they'd arranged to meet for lunch. He'd also agreed to go with her to the hospital after school again. Once he'd recovered from his nerves last time, the visit had gone well and he was pretty much willing to do anything to make his girlfriend happy.

***

"Hi, Joey," Leah greeted when her housemate entered the Diner.

She eyed her curiously. These days, it was rare to see any of Charlie's loved ones smiling but Joey was positively beaming.

"They think Charlie's going to be okay," she announced, eager for the whole world, and by that, she meant Colleen, to hear it.

"Really?" Leah exclaimed.

Joey nodded.

"She's starting to respond to the treatment. They think she's going to wake up!"

Leah hurried round to the other side of the counter and squeezed her friend tightly.

"That is so great!" she said.

"That really is wonderful news," Colleen said.

She hurried away to wipe a happy tear from her eye. Finally there was good news.

***

Angelo arrived at work with a coffee for Watson and one for himself. She'd barely said hello when he'd burst out that Charlie was likely to be okay after all. Watson had looked particularly choked up, hardly daring to let herself believe the news.

"What's all this?" Robertson asked, approaching the pair.

"Charlie's making improvements," Angelo informed him, unable to stop smiling.

Robertson smiled too.

"That's wonderful news!" he said.

Angelo nodded, still feeling a rush of adrenaline and joy in his veins.

"Could I have a word with you about Joey Collins?"

Angelo frowned, his bubble momentarily bursting. Glancing uncertainly at Watson, he followed Robertson into his office.

***

Noise startled Charlie as she floated around the white arena that had been her home for the last forever. She struggled to decipher language as it infiltrated her ears. It had been a long time since she had heard sound. She stepped towards the dark with a new resolve, pausing only when the sound was gone.

***

Angelo sat awkwardly in a chair, his good mood a little distilled.

"I'm waiting on a warrant to search Joey and her room," Robertson explained, perching on the edge of the desk.

He folded his arms.

"What's this got to do with me?" Angelo asked.

"I'm looking for a suicide note that Charlie may have sent her. Joey denies it exists but I've heard it mentioned several times and I need to find it. Do you know anything about a letter?"

Angelo pondered over what to say. He hated that Charlie had written to Joey instead of him and he too wouldn't mind getting his hands on it himself. His face fell suddenly. He'd been so happy to learn that Charlie was going to survive but the more he thought about Joey, the more he began to fret. What if Charlie woke up and still didn't believe in him? What if she thought Joey was a better option? What if she loved her? What if she didn't love him?

"I heard her say Charlie had written to her," he said. "And when you get the warrant, I wouldn't mind going with you to search her place."

***

For the second morning in a row, Joey woke amid some confusion. Rubbing her eyes, she hauled herself out of bed and grabbed her robe, stumbling downstairs and into the kitchen. She was startled when she saw Robertson, Watson and Angelo standing in front of her.

"What's going on?" she asked in confusion.

Robertson thrust a piece of paper towards her.

"Joey Collins, we've got a warrant to search this property," he informed her.

"But..." she protested weakly as the officers made their way through the house.

Joey followed them, more and more awake by the second.

"If you want to save some time and help us out, you can just hand the letter over," Robertson said.

"I don't have a letter," Joey lied.

Her heart was hammering in her chest as she pictured her beloved letter tucked neatly beneath her pillow.

"You two search the rooms and I'll keep Miss Collins company," Robertson told his crew.

Angelo and Watson headed back through the house. Watson reluctantly took Charlie's room, immediately fighting flashbacks of the last time she'd been in there. She was relieved to find it clean and fresh and tidy. Angelo headed up to Ruby's old room, knowing that that was where Joey was sleeping. He was determined to be the one to find that letter.

***

Ross couldn't help but feel disappointed. He'd gone to bed with the not so faint hope that when he returned the next day, his daughter would have woken up. But she hadn't. She was lying there, unresponsive, the same way she had the day before and the many excruciating days before that.

"How are you doing, my darling girl?" he asked, taking her hand. "We can't wait for you to wake up so we can tell you to your beautiful face, just how much we love you."

***

Joey waited anxiously in the lounge, dreading the moment that Angelo would present Robertson with the letter she had tried to hide. She wasn't so much concerned with getting into trouble as she was about Charlie's innermost thoughts becoming property of the police. It wasn't evidence. It was heartfelt and it meant everything to her. She couldn't bear to think that it would soon be taken away.

***

Angelo hurriedly rummaged through Joey's belongings. He rifled through her drawers with suspicion as he searched for any trace of Charlie. It made him feel a little ashamed but he experienced a sense of power at being allowed to turn Joey's room upside out. Approaching the bed, he lifted the blankets and the pillows. A folded piece of paper fluttered to the floor.

"Bingo," he said, bending to pick it up.

***

Joey didn't look at Robertson who was carefully but silently scrutinising her every facial expression. She worried about what she might be giving away. Watson appeared.

"Nothing," she said, not sure whether she was happy or sad about it.

Obviously the letter was important but she felt like she was invading her friend's space. Joey looked up sharply as Angelo trotted down the stairs empty handed. She eyed him curiously.

"Anything?" Robertson asked.

He shook his head.

"Nothing," he lied.

Joey was confused. The letter was in an obvious place. Surely the cop wouldn't have found it difficult to figure it out? _He wants to protect her,_ she thought, the realisation hitting her. She wondered why she was surprised. Any anger he had towards her would obviously be outweighed by his love for Charlie. He would have known that there could be something incriminating in it and he wouldn't have wanted to let his girlfriend down.

"Can you turn out your pockets please?" Robertson asked.

Joey turned the one small, empty pocket inside out.

"Any others?" he asked.

"I'm in my pyjamas," Joey pointed out. "How many pockets do you think I have?"

Sighing unhappily, Robertson nodded and the three police officers left her to it. She immediately raced up to her room to get the letter. She froze in the doorway. Angelo had tuned her bedding over without any manners and her letter was definitely gone.


	26. Chapter 26

_Okay, this is going t be heavier than normal. I hope you hate one of the characters and not me. Oh, and pmcc, I was totally going to ask you if your one-word review last time was aimed at me or Angelo – thanks for clarifying! Hehe. Love, IJKS xx_

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

Panic surged through Joey's body as she skipped a shower and hurriedly threw her clothes on. Even if Angelo was keeping it safe, it pained her to be separated from the letter she held so dear to her heart. They were Charlie's last words, her confession of love and Joey needed to keep hold of it. She worried that Angelo would read it. He'd undoubtedly be hurt by Charlie's lack of sentiment towards him and her feelings of regret towards to Joey. It wouldn't solve anything for him to read it. It wouldn't make things better. It would only make things worse. He hated her enough without reading what Charlie had written to her, without knowing how she had said goodbye.

***

Angelo excused himself from work and went to sit on the beach with only one thing in mind. He'd been terribly hurt to learn that his girlfriend, his beloved Charlie, had written to say goodbye to Joey and not to him and now he finally had the chance to find out what she had said. Taking a deep breath, he opened up the folded note and began to read.

***

Joey hurried towards the police station, hoping to catch up with Angelo. She was frustrated by her lack of transport and knew that the bus would only frustrate her more if it didn't show up and cost her valuable minutes so she headed to Yabbie Creek on foot. She pounded the ground with heavy steps as she walked as briskly as she could without running out of breath. Her heart was already hammering in her chest and surging with emotion and fear.

***

Angelo screwed the letter up in his hands but didn't move. Tears stung his eyes as the truth of Charlie's words hit home. He had only ever been a substitute for the person Charlie truly loved and wanted to be with. Rubbing his eyes he attempted to regulate his breathing. He felt betrayed. He felt like an idiot to have ever believed that Charlie could have been happy with him. She'd insisted, when he'd first found out about Joey, that it was in the past and that she was with him now but apparently her heart had never really been with him. He'd wondered at the time what Charlie would do if Joey ever came back and now, suddenly, he had a damn good idea.

***

Joey was breathless when she burst into the police station. She felt strange inside the building. It was the place that she'd pressed charges against Robbo. It was the place Charlie had been so kind to her. And it was the place Charlie had hidden in so that she could avoid what was happening between them. The last time Joey had been here had been the end of her world. Brett had made a false claim and she'd been hauled in to give a statement about her relationship with Charlie. She'd been so scared of getting it wrong, of somehow getting Charlie into trouble and therefore losing her. Little had she known at the time, she was going to lose her anyway.

"Can I help you??" Watson asked automatically.

She looked up and recognised Joey.

"Hi," she said, a little startled.

"Hi," Joey replied. "Is Angelo here?"

Her voice was urgent and desperate. She was flooded with disappointment when Watson said no.

"I could call..." the police officer began but she was talking to an empty space.

Joey had run out of the police station as fast as she'd run in.

***

Angelo had been driving around for a little while before he finally headed back to work, his mind full of confusion as he wondered what to do. The bitter part of him considered handing the letter over to Robertson. Joey would get into trouble for lying and Charlie's night of torturing Grant would come spilling out. He could hardly believe he had killed a man in order to protect a woman who had only ever had 'lukewarm feelings' for him. But no, he couldn't betray her like that, he knew. She may not be in love with him but however much he'd rather not be right now, he was still in love with her and realised he probably always would be.

"Joey was in here looking for you," Watson told him when he entered the station.

He nodded and thanked her and headed to his desk, still wondering what his next move ought to be.

***

Joey was getting into an increasingly fretful state. Having headed back to Summer Bay, she tried to think of where Angelo might have gone. Spotting the Diner up ahead, she went inside and scanned the room. She didn't see Angelo but she immediately hurried over to Aden who worried over what was wrong with her. She was trembling and she began to babble about what had happened. He had to calm her down before she would make any sense.

"And now I don't know what to do," she concluded when she'd finally explained what had happened.

***

Angelo headed back out of the police station saying he had to run an errand. He was glad that nobody questioned him. Jumping into the car with the letter in his pocket, he drove right back to Summer Bay in order to track Joey down.

***

"Are you sure you don't want help looking for him?" Aden asked. "I mean, I'm sure if I explained, Irene wouldn't object to giving me an afternoon off work."

Joey stood and shook her head.

"Thanks," she said. "But don't worry. I'll fix it myself."

He offered a concerned smile and let her go. Hurrying out of the Diner with no idea as to where she was going, Joey stopped abruptly when she saw Angelo up ahead. She raced over to him, calling his name. He waited patiently for her to catch up to him.

"Thank goodness!" Joey said. "I've been looking for you everywhere."

"I thought you might be," he said.

She stopped in front of him, a little unnerved by the way he was glaring at her.

"Did you take it?" she asked. "Were you protecting Charlie?"

She wanted to see the best in him but as the days had been passing, she was losing sight of exactly what Charlie had seen in him.

"No," he admitted. "I pretty much just wanted to read what was so damn important to you. And now I have."

Joey swallowed uncertainly. She was still trembling from earlier.

"Could I have it back?" she asked.

"No."

Her anxiety and desperation became a little more intense.

"Please?" she asked. "I need it."

"I bet you do!" he said, laughing bitterly. "Who wouldn't want a letter from Charlie declaring her undying love for you?"

"Angelo... please?" Joey said.

She wasn't beneath begging for something as important as this.

"No, Joey," he said firmly. "I am not going to give you back a letter telling you every single thing that I've longed to hear from Charlie from the first moment I met her. I'm not letting her declare her undying love for you over and over again, each time you read it."

He turned and walked off, round the back of the Diner. Joey hurried after him.

"Angelo!" she cried. "Please? Please give it back to me. I need it."

He turned around angrily and pulled the letter out of his pocket, dangling it in front of her.

"Look, it's not my fault!" Joey said desperately. "I didn't write it. Don't punish me because... because..."

"Because my girlfriend's in love with you?" he challenged.

She chewed her lip and nodded ever so slightly. Keeping hold of the papers that Joey couldn't help but notice were rather crumpled, Angelo folded his powerful arms and fixed his gaze on her.

"She's pretty easy to fall in love with, isn't she?" he wondered aloud.

She sighed and agreed. That much was definitely true.

"It's not so easy for her to fall in love though," she said sadly, thinking of how impossible her relationship with Charlie had really been.

"It was easy with you," Angelo pointed out.

"It really wasn't," Joey argued.

"Seems to be here," he said, gesturing to the letter.

"Angelo, she freaked out so much over loving me that she slept with a guy behind my back!"

"She might not have coped with loving you," Angelo said. "But it sounds like actually loving you was pretty damn easy."

He glared at her.

"I don't see it myself."

"I can't say I see what she sees in you either," Joey snapped back.

"But that's the problem, isn't it?" he said, more to himself than her. "She doesn't feel the way about me that she does about you. All this time, I've just been a filler because she didn't think she could have the person she really wanted. All this time, she's been lying to me, using me and treating me like an idiot. All this time... she loved you."

Joey swallowed. Her eyes were fixed on the letter. All she wanted was to get it back.

"Angelo, please?" she tried. "That's my last connection to Charlie. The chances are, when she wakes up, she'll choose you and you'll go on to be happy together. That's all I have left of her. Please... please give it back to me?"

Angelo fought for control of his emotions. He was too hurt and too angry to feel rational and he was certain that Joey was being fake.

"You want it back?" he asked, stepping a little closer.

"Please?"

"Then I want you to get the hell out of town," he told her.

She looked and felt startled.

"What?" she managed.

"I want you to get the hell out of Summer Bay and leave me and Charlie in peace. I don't want you here confusing her when she wakes up."

"I'm not going anywhere," Joey replied.

Her eyes widened and she squeaked in shock and hurt when he promptly ripped the letter into little pieces and dropped them. Sinking to her knees, Joey hurriedly attempted to gather them up before they blew away in the breeze. She fought tears as several pieces flew quickly away from her. She stood up again, furious.

"How could you?" she demanded.

He towered over her, trying to make her feel inferior but she was too angry.

"That was my last piece of Charlie! If you think I'm leaving her now you've got another thing coming!"  
He'd pushed her hard against the outer wall of the Diner before he'd thought it through. It surprised both of them and she struggled to get free, dropping the rest of the letter in the process. Panic surged through her as she fought against him.

"I want you to get the hell out of Summer Bay," Angelo said darkly. "Or I won't be responsible for my actions."

Images of past trauma flooded Joey's brain. She struggled against him. Tears finally spilled as his face became Robbo's and her mind was overtaken with visuals and feelings of the worst violence she could imagine.

"Okay!" she said quickly. "Okay."

Angelo looked surprised but retained his grip.

"I'll go," she said, feeling weak and defeated. "I'll go. Just please don't hurt me."

He pulled back and watched her move away to a safe distance. She was shaking and struggling for breath and he immediately felt guilty. When Charlie had told him about Joey, he'd looked her up on file and he knew what had happened to her. He hated to think that she'd believed he was capable of such a thing but for now, he could only be happy that it had worked in his favour.

"Please can I just say goodbye to her first?" Joey asked, not calming down even when she could see Angelo instead of the man who had raped her.

"I'll pass on your message," Angelo lied.

"Please?" Joey begged. "I just need to say goodbye and then I'll be out of here forever."

"Fine," he said, glancing at his watch.

It was his time with Charlie now anyway and they were verging on being late.

"I'll drive you," he told her.

"I can..." Joey tried.

She didn't want to be in a car with him at the best of times, let alone now.

"I'll drive you," Angelo said firmly.

She jumped back at he walked forwards and was surprised when he pulled out a sheet of paper and thrust it into her hand.

"I saved you a photocopy," he said.

He stalked towards his car and, clutching the imitation letter, Joey hurried after him.


	27. Chapter 27

_I hope you like the chapter, although it's pretty sad. Also, for those that missed it, Angelo was revealed as the killer a few chapters ago. He confessed by Charlie's bedside. Oh, and I'm so glad you like my new story. Thank you! Love, IJKS xxx_

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

Charlie had been tentatively venturing into the darkness. The further she got, the more she felt able to think instead of just feel. She was becoming slowly aware that she had a body as well as a soul. And her body hurt. Her mind was confused. If she stopped still and listened carefully, she could hear the occasional beeping noise and flurry of activity but the sounds were far off and she couldn't really decipher them. There was a strong calling within her, guiding her home. She'd rested for a long time now. She'd hidden away and caught her breath. She wasn't entirely convinced that she was heading in exactly the right direction but the impulse was strong enough that she was willing to give it a try.

***

Rebecca was surprised to find Joey and Angelo entering the hospital together. So far, they had had little to do with one another but, as ever, the atmosphere between them was frosty.

"Five minutes." Angelo told Joey.

Still very anxious, feeling like she was being ripped apart inside, Joey nodded and headed into Charlie's room. Angelo sank down on the plastic chairs and buried his head in his hands. Taking a deep breath, he wondered yet again if he ought to take the whole thing back. He felt like a bully. He didn't want to hurt anyone but his need to keep Charlie, to have her wake up and love him, was too powerful. At least if Joey wasn't around, he had a chance.

***

Joey was still shaking as she moved to the bed and kissed Charlie's forehead. She sank into a chair and clutched her ex-girlfriend's hand.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Joey ventured. "I can't believe after all this, I don't get to be around you when you finally wake up. I can't believe I'm going to lose you all over again. I..."

A sob burst out from deep within her chest. She used her free hand to wipe her eyes and clung onto Charlie with the other.

"Charlie, I love you so much. But I have to go. I can't... I know I'm being a coward. I know I'm letting you down after everything you said and everything I've promised since you've been sick. But I was so scared today. I was so frightened and I just... I can't go there. You might know Angelo and you might care for him but I don't. He's out of his mind worrying about you and feeling so hurt and betrayed that you wrote to tell me you loved me. And I get it. I'd be devastated. I know exactly what it's like to lose you, to feel wounded by you, even though I know you would never mean anyone any harm."

She sighed and kissed Charlie's hand.

"I know exactly what it's like to be so crazily in love with you that you can't even breathe. That's how I've felt since I met you. And it's the same for him. But I just... I don't know what he's capable of. He's not thinking straight. He's angry and... well, he threatened me enough that I can't stay and it..."

She burst into tears all over again.

"I don't want to leave you," she sobbed.

***

Charlie froze when she heard a voice. A woman was crying. She could pressure on her hand and love flowed between their palms. _Joey_, she thought to herself. She pictured her face and everything slowly came into recognition. She was hit with a flurry of images, good and bad and she tried very hard to reconcile them all. Pain and joy swept over her as she stumbled deeper into the darkness, looking up to find light at the end of it.

***

"I love you so much, Charlie," Joey wept. "You mean everything to me. And I'm so sorry that I can't be strong for you. I think... I think it'd just be worse if I was here when you woke up. Angelo loves you. I'm that close to hating the guy but he loves you. And maybe it'd be easier if you just woke up and made up with him instead of having to choose between us."

She cried harder.

"All I've ever really brought you is anguish," she concluded. "It's breaking my heart but I think I'm doing right by you by leaving you alone. I mean, you told me you loved me because you thought you were going to die. It doesn't mean you're any more ready to be with me than you were before. I..."

She sighed, knowing she was trying to find excuses that would stop her from feeling like a failure.

"I'm sorry," she finally managed.

She dropped Charlie's hand and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Standing up, she leant over Charlie's still body. Her tears dripped onto her face. Silently and remaining still, Charlie began to come back to her body. Everything hurt and she struggled to fight past the pain.

"I love you so much," Joey whispered. "I can't even tell you how much. And I'm going to miss you. If... if you ever decide that you do want to be with me... call me, okay? I'm sorry."

She kissed Charlie's lips. Beneath her, Charlie struggled to open her eyes, to make her body move somehow, to signal to Joey that she was awake and she wanted her, she needed her, that she had to stay.

"I hate myself for losing the love of my life twice," Joey said.

She gently wiped Charlie's cheeks and kissed her again.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly.

She turned away and headed towards the door without bearing to look back. Charlie's eyes opened but she couldn't speak. She struggled for breath. She struggled to form words, to move, to do anything to make Joey stay. But she was gone. Pain gripped Charlie's soul. She was overcome with loss. A searing pain shot through her heart.

***

Out in the corridor, Joey approached Angelo, her jaw set and her heart broken.

"I hope she tells you to fuck off anyway," she said bitterly. "Even without any competition."

She fled the hospital, oblivious to the beeping that signalled to Rebecca and the team that Charlie was in trouble. Angelo panicked as Rebecca flew into the room and kept him out of it. More staff hurried in. Angelo waited helplessly outside, desperate to know what was going on. Joey continued on her way unaware that anything had happened.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

Ross and Morag were sat beside Charlie in her hospital room. They'd rushed to the intensive care unit when Angelo had called both them and Ruby to let them know what was happening. He had declined to call Joey back. The sooner she was out of Summer Bay the better it would be for all of them. The Doctor and Rebecca had eventually come out and told them that Charlie had suffered another heart attack, although she had pulled through it and was now sleeping but no longer in a coma. It would be only a matter of hours until she was awake and back with them. Nobody could wait.

***

Joey stood in the kitchen and surveyed the room sadly for a moment. Her bags were packed and she was ready to go. She felt like a fool for even entertaining the thought that she might actually settle back down here with Charlie, that she might be happy again. Hauling her bag onto her back and taking up her other one in her hand, she left the house, feeling guilty that she wasn't even leaving a note. She just couldn't even begin to explain why she was abandoning Charlie at the last minute.

***

Ruby sat on the edge of the seat in Miles's car. When she'd got the call to tell her what had happened at the hospital, her teacher, on a free period, had offered to drive her over quickly. She hadn't exactly sought permission to leave school early but she doubted anyone would really mind. Charlie could wake up at any minute and Ruby was desperate to be there when she did.

***

Angelo sat feeling stressed in the corridor. He had wanted to be the first person to go in but Ross had looked sick with stress so he'd let him and Morag enter the room first. He was, however, determined to be next.

***

"Thanks," Joey said.

She'd approached a skipper of a boat that was due out on a long haul and convinced him to take her out with him in return for free labour until she could hook up with her old crew. There were three hours to go until the boat left, which was disappointing. If she had to go, she needed to go quickly but alas, it was not to be. To kill the time and not bump into anybody, she sat down on the wharf with her legs dangling off the side and gazed out to sea. It was one of the very few times that it didn't calm her. She felt like a coward but she just couldn't handle the threat of Angelo anymore. It was too much. It brought back too many painful memories of violence and pain. All she could hope now was that she was right in her estimation that he loved Charlie too much to ever hurt her. She hoped he would keep her safe now.

***

Ruby and Miles burst into the intensive care unit, having been buzzed in by Rebecca who looked almost as thrilled as everyone else did with the news that Charlie would soon open her eyes.

"Is she awake yet?" the teenager asked.

"Not quite. But it won't be long," Rebecca said. "Ross and Morag are in with her now but Angelo's waiting."

She pointed further along the corridor to where the police officer was sitting on the familiar row of chairs. Ruby headed over and Miles followed.

"Is Joey here?" Ruby asked.

Angelo shook his head.

"I couldn't get through," he lied.

Ruby pulled out her phone, hoping she wouldn't get into trouble, and dialled Joey's number. Then she frowned.

"It went straight to voicemail," she said.

***

"We are so happy that you're waking up, Charlie," Ross said, although his daughter didn't look any better than normal yet.

He clutched her hand and stroked her fingers. Every fibre of his being was anticipating Charlie's survival. Morag sat on the other side of the bed and gazed at Charlie's face, also desperate for her to wake up and begin to heal.

***

Joey closed her eyes to the sun, wondering what would happen to Charlie. She hoped that when she woke up, she'd feel happy again and ready to put her life back together. She was certain that everything would finally be okay for her and Ruby. There was nothing like nearly losing a person to put things into perspective. It was after Joey had nearly been killed that Charlie had kissed her for the first time. She smiled a little sadly at the thought. She'd been so shocked and so delighted when Charlie had made that move but she was devastated by the way it had all turned out. She'd turned her phone off in advance and decided that she wouldn't check it again until she was far away. She hated to think how Ruby would react to her abandonment. She hated herself for it.

***

Angelo, Ruby and Miles all looked up when Ross and Morag stepped out of the room.

"One of you can go in next," Morag told them. "She's still sleeping."

Ruby and Angelo both stood and then stopped to glance at each other.

"Please?" Angelo said.

Ruby sighed and sank back down. Ross came to sit beside her and Morag beside him.

"You should have pushed," Ross said when Angelo was gone.

She shrugged and pulled out her phone.

"I need to get in touch with Joey anyway," she said.

She called Geoff in order to ask him and Aden to track Charlie's beloved ex-partner down.

***

Angelo clung onto Charlie's hand, desperate for her to wake up while he was there. He longed to gaze into her eyes again, to see recognition and affection there. He wanted to be the first person she saw. He needed her to fall in love with him again, or maybe for the first time.

***

"Thanks for bringing Ruby over," Morag said across the seats to Miles.

"I was happy to do it," Miles said. "I'm really fond of her – and Charlie. I'm so pleased that she's going to wake up."

Ruby hung up the phone and sank back in her seat. Ross put his arm around her and she leant against his shoulder. She was tired of this waiting game. She needed Charlie to wake up and be strong again.

***

"Joey!"

The deckhand turned in fright as a male voice called her name. For a fleeting second she worried it was Angelo coming after her again but smiled in relief when she saw Aden and Geoff approaching. She stood up and shoved her hands into her pockets.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. "Why's your phone off?"

"I'm uh... I got a job on another long haul," she said. "I'm heading out in a couple of hours."

Aden looked distinctly alarmed.

"What?" he asked, wounded. "Why?"

"I just... have to," Joey sighed.

She didn't want to get into this with him now or ever.

"They said Charlie's going to wake up within the hour," Geoff said from behind Aden.

Joey's eyes widened.

"What?" she squeaked.

"She had a heart attack this afternoon," Geoff explained. "But she's okay. And they're expecting her to wake up any minute. Ruby couldn't get in touch with you to tell you so she asked us to come looking."

Joey swallowed uncertainly. Why did she have to wake up now? Why couldn't it have been after Joey was far away? This was just going to make everything harder.

"Send her my love," she requested.

Aden looked incredulously at her.

"You're not going to see her?"

"I have to get on the boat," Joey pointed out.

Her tummy was twisted up in knots.

"You've got a couple of hours yet," Aden pointed out.

"I can drive you to the hospital and back if you want," Geoff added.

"It's too hard to..." Joey faltered.

Aden looked her directly in the eye.

"Joey, what is going on?" he asked.

***

Charlie felt confused as reality rushed towards her. It hit her hard and she struggled to open her eyes and breathe. The light was sharp and pain gripped her entire body. She was aching and tired and lost. She looked up and a face came into view. Her soul sank with disappointment. It wasn't the face of the person she'd seen leaving. Her mind struggled through the fog as she tried to remember herself and the man beside her. But she could only think of one person and fought with the memory of being told goodbye.

"Joey?" she managed.

Angelo's face flooded with disappointment.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

"Charlie, it's me," Angelo said, holding her hand a little tighter and moving so that she could see him properly.

He was met with nothing but confusion. She took too deep a breath and choked on the oxygen she had been constantly supplied with for weeks. He pressed the emergency button to get Rebecca in and leaned in to hold her. She touched his arm and felt grateful that someone was there, although she had no idea where she was or how she got there.

"Where?" she tried. "I mean, how...?"

She felt completely lost. Rebecca appeared and smiled warmly at her patient when she realised that she was awake. Ruby appeared behind the nurse, having heard the noise and been determined to follow.

"Ruby!" Charlie said.

Ruby beamed at her and rushed to her side. She took her other hand.

"I'm really sorry, guys but I'm going to have to ask you to step outside for a second," Rebecca said kindly.

Both Ruby and Angelo's faces fell and they stood up. Charlie's gaze frantically fixed on her daughter. She didn't want her to go. She tried to protest, breathed in again too deeply and began to cough. Rebecca reached for a jug of water on the side and poured it into a glass, gently pressing it against Charlie's lips. Charlie drank gratefully. When she'd finished, she sank back against the bed and closed her eyes.

"How are you feeling?" Rebecca asked.

"Confused," Charlie said. "And I hurt all over."

"I'm not surprised," the nurse replied. "You really damaged yourself, Charlie."

"I... What day is it? Have I been here long?"

"You've been in a three week coma," Rebecca said.

Charlie's eyes widened in fright.

"I don't..."

Rebecca gently began to check her over.

"Do you remember what happened?" she asked.

"I was meant to die," Charlie replied. "Why am I here?"

***

"So, you're just going to take off?" Aden asked incredulously. "Just like that? Charlie's awake now. That's what you've all been waiting for."

"I know," Joey said. "I just... it's too good an opportunity to miss. I..."

She hated lying to him but she didn't know what else to say. He stood up quickly.

"Well then, I think you're the most selfish person I've ever met," he snapped.

She looked up at him, hurt.

"Charlie's better off without me," she insisted.

"I don't care about Charlie!" he told her. "I mean I do but... Joey, what about me? How can you just leave me like this?"

She swallowed unhappily.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"If you were really sorry then you wouldn't be leaving," he pointed out, shoving his hands into his pockets.

He gave her one last look before turning away. Joey fought tears.

"He threatened me!" she finally burst out.

***

Rebecca reappeared in the corridor. Everyone leapt to their feet.

"Ruby, she's asking for you," the nurse said.

Ruby beamed and hurried towards Charlie's room. Angelo's heart sank. Charlie knew he was there and yet she only wanted to see Ruby. And of course, her first word had been Joey's name. He had never realised how sad he would be when she opened her eyes. He'd been hoping for so much but nothing seemed to be going the way it was meant to.

***

"What?" Aden asked.

He glanced at Geoff who remained politely in the background and approached his friend.

"Who threatened you?"

Joey hung her head and looked out to sea again. Aden sat down beside her.

"Joey?" he nudged.

"Angelo," she confirmed. "He doesn't want me near Charlie. And I don't blame him. If she was my girlfriend, I doubt I'd want her anywhere near him."

She chewed her lip, sad that she wasn't her girlfriend and never would be.

"But she should be your girlfriend," Aden pointed out.

Joey just shrugged. The truth was that Charlie was dating Angelo. She'd cheated on and discarded Joey. They'd lost each other.

"What did he do, Joey?" Aden asked.

Memories of everything his friend had been through since the beginning of the year weighed heavily on his mind. He couldn't bear to think of her being hurt or frightened.

"He ripped up my letter," she told him. "The one Charlie gave me."

She pulled the photocopy out of her pocket. It just wasn't the same.

"Then he gave me a photocopy and told me to get out of town and leave Charlie alone."

She sighed.

"Then he grabbed me and shoved me against a wall."

Aden tensed in anger.

"And I know I'm being a baby but I just... I can't take that kind of risk again. Robbo threatened me and I kept giving it back, arguing, snapping, not backing down and look..."

She burst into tears.

"Look what happened, Aden. He ruined my life. He..."

Aden put his arm around her and pulled her in close, kissing the top of her head.

"I will never let anyone hurt you again, Joey," he promised. "I'd kill him first."

She looked up at him, realising that he really did mean it. She wiped her eyes.

"I'm sure Angelo's not capable of anything like that but I just... I can't."

He nodded and hugged her again.

"Joey, can I just say one thing?" he asked.

She agreed tearfully.

"There must have been something in that letter that brought you back to Summer Bay so quickly. She told you that she loved you, right?"

Joey nodded.

"Don't you think you owe yourself the chance to find out face to face, once and for all, if she wants to be with you? And if not that, then... this woman tried to die, Joey. She took pills and cut into her chest and wrists and she wanted to die. If you mean that much to each other and you're really going to leave and never see her again... don't you want to at least say goodbye?"

"I said goodbye..."

"She didn't know anything about it."

Joey sighed.

"Maybe I can just see her quickly and then go?" she said.

Aden nodded, stood and pulled his friend to her feet. All he could hope for now was that Charlie could convince her to stay. He and Geoff picked up her bags and they headed to the car.

***

Ruby burst into tears the moment she saw Charlie awake and fragile in the hospital bed. She hugged her and felt her respond with as much strength as she had. Sinking onto the chair she knew so well, Ruby took Charlie's hand and gazed at her.

"How could you try to leave me like that?" she asked in a small voice.

Charlie felt like her heart was breaking. She'd never expected Ruby to feel so strongly about this. She thought she'd lost her a long time ago. But then, a lot of things had happened that she hadn't expected.

"I'm sorry," she managed.

"Are you?"

Silence fell between them. Charlie knew Ruby wanted to tell her that she regretted what she'd done but she couldn't quite find the words. Instead she lifted her daughter's hand to her lips and kissed it. Ruby smiled and returned the gesture.

"We've all been beside ourselves," Ruby said.

Charlie's mind flashed to Joey and she wondered aloud what 'all' meant.

"The whole town, Charlie!" Ruby explained. "Colleen, Irene, Leah, Miles... he's out in the corridor right now. And Dad, Morag, Angelo... Joey."

Charlie's eyes widened.

"Joey? She's been here?"

"Every single day."

"I thought it was a dream..." Charlie ventured.

"What was?"

"Before. I woke up before and she was leaving me."

Everything was confusing in her mind and she wasn't sure how to explain.

"That nurse..."

"Rebecca."

"Rebecca. She said I had a heart attack. I remember... I remember Joey leaving and then just pain and then I woke up again and Angelo was here and I... I'm so confused."

Ruby kissed her hand again.

"She wouldn't have been leaving you for good," she assured her. "We've been visiting you round the clock and it was probably just the end of her shift."

Charlie sighed, still unsure.

"Do you think so?"

"I've sent Aden and Geoff to go and find her and tell her you're awake," Ruby said. "She'll be here. She loves you."

Charlie dared not let herself hope. She looked down at their clasped hands and suddenly frowned.

"Why is there a ring on my finger?" she asked.

***

Geoff pulled up into the car park and he, Aden and Joey climbed out of the car. Locking up, Geoff followed the other two into the building. It felt strange to be part of all this now. But since he and Ruby had got together, she had involved him in everything and he was glad to be able to be here for her now. And he hoped to get to know her mother properly and become part of the family. They stepped into the lift and travelled up to the intensive care unit. Aden buzzed and Rebecca let the group of three inside. Joey froze when she saw Angelo sitting on a chair looking stressed. He glared at her and everything inside her was willing her to run away. But then she looked up at Charlie's closed door and she knew she had come too far not to see her now.

"Joey, you're here!" Morag exclaimed. "We were struggling to get in touch with you."

"Yeah, I... I left my phone at Leah's," she said.

It was the truth at least to a degree.

"Well, we're glad you're here now," Ross said with a smile. "Ruby's in with her now."

Joey nodded and sat down at the very end of the row of chairs. She didn't want to be anywhere near Charlie's boyfriend.

***

Ruby rolled her eyes.

"Angelo proposed while you were... asleep. I think putting the ring on was a little presumptuous but whatever."

Charlie chuckled. It hurt a little. She felt like she'd been fighting in some kind of battle.

"It is presumptuous," she confirmed. "I don't..."

"Want to be with him because you love Joey?" Ruby asked hopefully.

Charlie smiled. It was true. But her head was too jumbled to try and explain herself. With Ruby's eager help, she took the ring off and placed it on the table beside her.

"I love you, Charlie," she said sincerely. "Finding you like that, it..."

"You found me?" Charlie asked, overwhelmed with guilt and grief all over again.

Ruby nodded and clutched her hand a little tighter.

"Yeah," she said. "And I'm so sorry."

"What for?"

"You tried to say goodbye to me on Sunday night, didn't you? And I just... I didn't have the time for you. If I'd have known, I..."

She swallowed her tears.

"It doesn't matter," Charlie said. "You were busy."

"I was horrible!"

"Ruby, you could never been horrible. You're my... you're my perfect little girl."

Ruby smiled and moved to give her a hug.

"I guess I should stop being so selfish and let the others come in and see you too," she said.

"Okay," Charlie said, although she didn't really want to let Ruby go.

Ruby kissed her cheek and slipped out of the room.

"Joey!" she gasped.

The deckhand looked up sharply.

"She's desperate to see you," Ruby said.

Joey stood and ignored the way Angelo's eyes burned into her. She hugged Ruby tightly and took a deep breath before pushing Charlie's door open. The police officer was propped up in bed, awake but still hooked up to the same machines.

"Hey," she said softly, pausing by the door with her heart in her mouth.

Charlie smiled weakly at her, as if she didn't quite believe she was there.

"I thought you were a dream," Charlie told her.


	30. Chapter 30

_And now here is your final instalment of The Waiting Game. I hope you like the tender moment between Charlie and Joey. Future spoilers include, Charlie kissing someone, but who!?, Ruby finding out that Angelo threatened Joey and the police closing in as they try to figure out who is responsible for Grant's murder. Enjoy! I will make another update of something tomorrow and then I shall bid you farewell for the week. But have no fear, I will be back! And I have already started four more other stories. Watch this space... Love, IJKS xx_

**Chapter Thirty**

Joey carefully moved across the room and seated herself at Charlie's side. She licked her lips nervously and swallowed several times. Of all the ways that she had imagined coming face to face with Charlie again, this hadn't been it. Even when she'd arrived and found her in a coma, she'd played out thoughts of them reuniting, not of her having to leave her fragile and alone in her hospital bed.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"About as good as I think I probably look," Charlie replied with a sad smile.

Joey gazed at her and took her hand.

"Then you must feel incredible," she said.

Charlie blushed. Nobody had ever had the effect on her that Joey had. She squeezed her hand back, although she didn't have much strength to do so. Joey licked her lips again. It was a nervous habit.

"Were you here before?" Charlie finally asked.

"When?"

"Today. I think. I don't know. The nurse said I'd been here for weeks."

"You have," Joey confirmed. "We've all been visiting."

"I had a heart attack," Charlie said.

"You had two."

Charlie nodded.

"The second one then, I guess... I don't know... but I saw you leaving," Charlie said.

She wished her mind wasn't so scrambled and that she could make sense of anything going on around her. Joey blanched.

"You heard me leave?" she asked.

"I think so. You said goodbye and..."

Joey nodded and clutched Charlie's hand. She pressed her forehead against Charlie's hand. When she'd said goodbye, she hadn't imagined that Charlie had heard her. To think that she'd been waking up and she hadn't even noticed, devastated her.

"Ruby said it was just the end of your shift," Charlie said. "But it felt... different than that."

Joey looked up tearfully.

"I've got forty five minutes until I have to leave."

Charlie sighed heavily and closed her eyes.

"I'm really sorry, Charlie."

"Then why are you here if you're just going to leave me?"

She fought tears and Joey's heart broke at the image of her so sad and lost and alone. After everything she'd been through, the least she deserved was to be with people who loved her. She forced herself to remember that Charlie had Angelo to love her. Joey was surplus to requirements.

"I needed to know that you were okay," Joey said.

"I'm not," Charlie replied tearfully.

"Charlie..."

Joey's own tears fell but Charlie looked away.

"I thought... I thought maybe you might..." Charlie ventured, talking to the wall. "But it's okay. It doesn't matter."

"I don't want to hurt you, Charlie. It's just..."

She sighed as Charlie dropped her hand. She hurriedly brushed her own tears away and looked down into her lap. Charlie turned back to look at her.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Another long haul," Joey told her.

Charlie nodded.

"Well, have a nice life I guess."

Her tone was bitter. She felt like she shouldn't have bothered waking up. From the vague memories she had of being asleep, she knew it had been a lot more peaceful back there. Reality was full of confusion and loss. Joey looked up and pleaded with her eyes.

"Charlie, please don't hate me," she begged.

"I don't. If I were you I wouldn't want to be anywhere near me either."

More tears trickled down her face and onto her pillow. Joey stood and leant over her, brushing her tears gently away and gazing into her eyes.

"I don't want to be far away from you," she said. "Do you know how fast I got here when I read your letter?"

"I have no idea," Charlie said.

"Faster than should have been humanly possible," Joey said. "I got a call to say I had a letter from you. I jumped ship and travelled by lifeboat to the shore, raced into the office, started reading, realised what you were planning, called you incessantly and then hopped on a bus to Summer Bay. And then with all my damn luggage I pretty much ran to the hospital."

Charlie couldn't help but smile at the effort she had gone to. But then her face fell.

"So why are you running out of here as quickly as you came?" she asked.

Joey stroked her hair.

"I just... have to."

"You preferred me asleep?" Charlie asked.

Joey shook her head.

"It's not like that," she whispered, leaning closer. "It's complicated."

Charlie nodded, although she didn't think she'd ever understand. Her only conclusion could be that Joey wanted to make sure she was alive but after that, she didn't care about her or want to be with her. And after the letter she'd sent, the letter she hadn't envisaged any repercussions from, she felt like a fool for all she'd written. Joey's tears dropped onto Charlie's face. She apologised and wiped them away.

"I don't mind," Charlie managed.

Her expression was sorrowful. Joey didn't know what to do.

"Please don't look at me like that," she begged. "I wish I could stay. And I am so happy that you're awake."

"I'm not," Charlie admitted.

Joey swallowed. The revelation hit her so hard that she sank back into her chair. She buried her face in her hands and wept, struggling to regain her composure. She thought about Angelo. He'd be fuming in the corridor right about now, hating her and thinking of some new way to keep her out of Charlie's life. And she thought about poor, vulnerable Charlie who didn't even want to be alive. She looked up and gazed into Charlie's tearful face.

"Please be happy," she begged. "You nearly died. But you pulled through. You're so strong and there's so much left for you to do. Ruby... she wants you to be her Mum. She wants to move back in and live her life with you again. Charlie, she loves you so much. She needs you. And your Dad... he's been so worried. And so lovely. I've spent a lot of time with him and he needs you too, Charlie. And Angelo loves you. And the whole Bay and..."

Charlie swallowed. She was desperate for Joey to tell her that she loved her too. But she didn't.

"You've got all this healing to do and you _will _do it, Charlie. I know you will. You're going to recover from this and..."

She burst into more tears. So many times she had sat by Charlie's bedside and told her of the future she would have when she woke up. But back then, she'd promised to be with her, in whatever capacity she wanted. Charlie moved her hand, attempting to reach for her. Joey met her half way. She gazed at her, torn between her love for her and her fear of Angelo.

"I'll stay," she said.

The words were out before she thought it through. Charlie and Joey looked equally surprised and Charlie looked elated. Joey stood and moved closer again. She stroked Charlie's face, still wet with tears.

"I told you when you were sleeping that I'd be here if only you'd wake up," Joey said. "I promised that I'd be here for you. I know you've got so much healing to do and I swore that I'd help you, if you wanted me to, and in any capacity you wanted."

She licked her lips.

"It's not right to break a promise like that," she said. "I'll... I'll cancel the job and... and I'll stay."

Charlie could barely speak. She'd been so close to losing her and now, somehow, she'd turned around.

"You're not teasing me?" she checked.

Her heart was beating a little too fast. They both noticed on the monitor. Joey reached for the emergency button but Charlie stopped her.

"I'm fine," she promised. "Just... this means so much to me. To keep you. In my life. I... My thoughts and feelings aren't so clear right now but I just... I know I need you with me."

Joey nodded and stroked her hair.

"I'll be here," she promised.

Charlie's heart rate slowed down to a more normal pace. She bent to kiss Charlie's forehead, the same way she had done so many times over recent weeks. They both closed their eyes and savoured the touch.

"Now, I think there's a fair few people desperate to see you," Joey told her. "So I'd better stop being selfish and let them in, okay?"

Charlie nodded. Hey held hands until the last possible moment and Joey forced herself back out through the door.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter Thirty-One**

Charlie wondered why she was so exhausted. All she was doing was lying in bed. She'd only been awake for a few hours and already she was ready to crash out and sleep. Her time with Joey had been so emotionally charged and she hardly knew what to do with herself now. She'd spent time with her Dad and Morag. Her father had tried and failed not to cry for most of the visit as relief flooded him. Ruby had returned to spend time with her again and she was grateful to get to spend time with her. Things had been so awkward before this and Charlie had been so afraid of living and losing her that dying had seemed to be the only option. Now, half an hour before visiting ended, Angelo was by her side.

"Why did you take the ring off?" he asked, noting that the jewellery piece was on the bedside unit. "Are you saying no?"

Charlie sighed.

"I don't have an answer for you," she managed. "So I can't wear it."

He clutched her hand a little tighter.

"Don't you love me?"

Charlie's head began to swim. She struggled over what to say.

"Angelo, I know you've been here for three weeks," she started. "But the last time I was aware of anything, I thought you'd cheated on me."

"I didn't!" Angelo said quickly. "I can explain everything."

"Go on then."

***

"Rubes, I have to tell you something," Geoff said when he and Ruby were at home making dinner.

She turned to give him her full attention.

"What's up?"

"Joey was leaving town," he said unhappily.

Ruby's eyes widened.

"What?" she squeaked.

"She was leaving," Geoff said. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop on her and Aden exactly but... I think Angelo threatened her."

Ruby looked horrified. She immediately left the house in order to find Joey and find out exactly what was going on. Geoff called after her but she ignored him. She had a mission.

***

Joey, Leah and Aden were seated around the lounge drinking coffee and puzzling over the day. Charlie waking up was the best news that any of them could have ever heard. Joey was elated to know that she was going to be okay and to be able to gaze into her eyes again was Heaven. It also meant a lot to her to know that Charlie wanted her to stick around. They'd both been vague about how they felt about each other but it was a start. Unfortunately, that meant she had to deal with Angelo. She was still frightened of him and felt like she needed to drag Aden around with her wherever she went.

"Joey!"

Ruby's voice rang through the house, making Joey jump and burn her fingers on the coffee that spilled over the edge of her cup. She frowned at the stain on her leg but the teenager quickly appeared with her hands on her lips.

"Tell me you were not about to take off for good this afternoon!"

Joey blanched and looked at Aden.

"I..."

"Angelo threatened you?" Ruby said.

"Well..."

Joey didn't know what to respond to first.

"What do you mean Angelo threatened her?" Leah asked, deeply concerned.

Joey looked helplessly between all three people in the room.

"Angelo threatened Joey," Aden finally said. "So yes, she was going to leave. But now she's going to stay. Aren't you?"

Joey nodded, mute. Ruby came to sit down beside her. Joey put her drink down.

"What happened?" the younger girl asked.

"He just... he told me to leave. It's not a big deal."

"Charlie needs to know about this."

Joey shook her head.

"It'll stress her out," Joey said. "She doesn't need that now."

Ruby sighed and nodded. All she could think about was the she and left Charlie with Angelo at the hospital and she couldn't bear it. Angelo needed to be out of the picture quickly if he was the kind of guy who would intimidate someone else – someone who had done nothing wrong.

"When she's feeling better," she said.

Aden and Leah both agreed but Joey wasn't so sure. She felt as cloudy headed as Charlie seemed to be right now.

"She took his ring off, by the way," Ruby told her.

Joey's eyes lit up.

"She did?"

"Yeah," she said. "She doesn't want to marry him."

***

Charlie lay in her hospital bed, drifting in and out of sleep. Visits were over for the day and she now had an evening of loneliness to endure. She wished that Ruby or Joey could come in and see her. Apparently Angelo was coming back first thing before his shift started and then her father and Morag would drop by. Then in the afternoon she had Joey and Ruby to look forward to. Rebecca came in to check on her.

"When will I get out of here?" Charlie asked.

Rebecca put her chart down and came to sit by her patient's bedside.

"Not for a while yet," she said. "You're still very vulnerable and you'll need to go to a high dependency unit first and then a ward. We've got a psychiatrist coming in to assess you..."

"I don't need a psychiatrist!" Charlie said desperately.

"Charlie, you tried to kill yourself," Rebecca pointed out gently.

Charlie swallowed. Maybe she had a point.

"You'll have a complete assessment and then he'll advise us as to where we should put you."

"You mean I might end up in a nut house?" Charlie worried.

"We don't tend to call them that," Rebecca told her.

Charlie managed a smile.

"We'll get you through this, okay?" Rebecca said, standing up. "Everything will be okay. You've got us and your friends and your family. Everyone's been so worried about you, Charlie."

Charlie sighed and closed her eyes. The problem wasn't that people didn't care, it was that things were almost exactly the same as they had been before she'd attempted suicide. Ruby might be making an effort and Joey might be back but she was still being accused of murder, she still wasn't entirely sure that Angelo was telling her the truth about this crazy mission of his and she had no clue as to which direction her life was taking.


	32. Chapter 32

_Here's a nice long chapter for you – especially for drowningnotwaving, as I know how much you love this fic. It's kind of weird writing Charlie awake now after so long but I hope you all like it. There's much CJ goodness! Love IJKS xxx_

**Chapter Thirty-Two**

Angelo was up and out early and arrived in Charlie's hospital room at ten o'clock on the dot, not wanting to miss a moment of visiting. He'd considered going round to see Joey the previous evening, to find out what the hell she was playing at but with images of Aden playing bodyguard, he didn't think getting into trouble was going to help. He still had his mission, which was of utmost importance and Charlie was his number one priority. As much as he hated Joey, if Charlie were to find out that he'd tried to send her away, he knew she'd be furious.

"Morning, sweetheart," he said, coming to kiss her lips.

She lay looking and feeling fragile in the bed. She'd barely slept the night before as she turned over everything in her mind and battled with her own feelings of desperation. She couldn't remember much of the previous three weeks so to her, life was almost exactly the same as it had been when she'd made the decision to end her life. She was still wanted for murder, she still felt confused about Angelo and whether things would become better between her, Joey and Ruby or not, only time would tell. Angelo settled down and held her hand.

"How did you sleep?" he asked.

She tried to shrug but it was too painful and too much effort. She felt like she'd been run over by a truck.

"Not so good," she said.

"Sorry to hear that," he said. "I'm only here for an hour, I'm afraid. I've got to get to work."

"Your mission?"

He nodded. It was still nerve-wracking to know that he had broken the rules and shared that with her. But if it meant keeping her, it was worth it.

"But Ross and Morag will be here to see you," he added. "They've been really worried."

"I hope everyone can stop worrying now," Charlie said.

Angelo smiled and kissed her hand.

"It's so wonderful to know that you're going to be okay," he said. "And that you want to live."

Silence fell between them.

"You do want to live, don't you?"

"Of course I do," Charlie lied. "It was just a mistake."

He breathed a sigh of relief and leant across the kiss her.

"We're going to get through all of this, Charlie," he said confidently. "The murder charge will go away and things will be good again between you and Ruby. And me and you... we'll get things back on track. We'll be okay."

Charlie swallowed uncertainly. She didn't really know how things stood between them now.

"I know it'll take time but Charlie, I love you so much. I want to marry you."

Charlie blanched.

"Well, why... why don't we just be friends first and... and see?"

His face fell and he dropped her hand.

"You don't want to be with me?" he asked.

Images of Joey tore through his mind.

"It's not that," Charlie struggled. "It's just... I've just woken up and... and everything's so confusing and... I have to start everything again from scratch. I can't make any big decisions until I'm out of here, until I'm normal again."

Angelo sighed heavily but nodded.

"Well, as long as you know I'll always be here," he said. "I'll wait as long as it takes to be with you again."

She smiled anxiously and he reached for her hand again.

***

Joey woke up with the photocopy of Charlie's letter in her hand. It wasn't the same but at least the words were there. The real thing had long since been scattering in the wind. Still, at least she had an awake Charlie who wanted her around, although it what capacity, Joey wasn't sure. Still, she had promised to be there for whatever Charlie needed. All she could hope was that it wasn't as a bridesmaid in a wedding to Angelo.

***

Charlie's head was swimming by the time Angelo left and Ross and Morag arrived. It hadn't been a gentle visit. Angelo had been full of questions and declarations of love. She'd been looking forward to a rest when visiting hours closed but then she remembered she needed a psychiatric assessment in that time. That was one thing she was not looking forward to. She didn't want to talk. She didn't want to analyse the whole sorry mess. And she was afraid of the outcome.

"How was your visit with Angelo?" Ross asked his daughter.

"Intense," Charlie admitted.

"He's been beside himself," Ross said.

Charlie sighed.

"I know," she said tiredly. "I know everyone's been worried and I'm a horrible person for doing this."

Tears began to spill. Ross panicked.

"No," he said. "No, Charlie, that's not what I meant."

Charlie wiped her eyes and apologised.

"No, I'm sorry," Ross said, glancing helplessly at Morag. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's fine," Charlie said gently. "Everything's just a bit..."

She didn't know how to describe how she was feeling.

"It must be a very confusing time for you," Morag empathised. "To wake up when you hadn't planned to, to know that we've been living while you've been sleeping..."

Charlie nodded. She and Morag hadn't always got along but suddenly her compassion meant everything to her.

"And to have both Angelo and Joey keeping watch over you."

Charlie looked up sharply, puzzled and panicked over what she was implying. Now was not the time to start discussing her feelings for another woman.

"It's okay, darling," Ross told her. "We know about you and Joey."

"She told you?" Charlie asked, feeling immediately betrayed.

"We figured it out on our own," Morag said.

"How?"

"Well, the fact that she came to Summer Bay faster than the speed of light as soon as she knew you were in trouble was a fair indication," Morag told her. "And how you changed your will before... before."

Charlie nodded. She glanced fearfully at her father.

"Are you ashamed of me?" she asked.

"For falling in love with a girl?" Ross asked incredulously. "Of course not! And Joey's lovely. She really is very special. She's visited you every day, she's taken such good care of Ruby... she's just lovely. If you ever decided you wanted to be with her, well, that'd be just fine with us."

Charlie smiled, feeling encouraged. Then she frowned.

"I guess if you talked to her about us getting together, she told you why we split?"

"She said you weren't ready for a relationship with her," Morag explained.

Charlie smiled again, touched that Joey had hidden the gory details.

"I was so panicked that I cheated on her," she admitted.

Ross and Morag looked suitably shocked.

"Well, she never said anything like that," Ross assured her. "I don't think she wanted to say anything against you. She loves you, Charlie."

"I love her too," Charlie said.

"What about Angelo?" Morag asked.

Charlie sighed heavily.

"We're friends," she said. "He wants to be with me but... My head's too confused to deal with any of this right now."

Ross and Morag nodded in understanding. Charlie shifted uncomfortably.

***

Angelo headed to work and was pleased to be able to tell his colleagues that Charlie was awake and talking. Watson was particularly thrilled. And now it meant that she had to work even harder to clear her friend's name. Angelo frowned when Robertson approached him.

"Charlie's awake and talking?" he asked.

Angelo nodded and opened his laptop.

"That's good news!" Robertson said brightly. "You must be thrilled."

"I am," Angelo confirmed.

"Well, I'll have to ring the hospital and arrange an interview."

"What?" Angelo shrieked. "She's too sick. You can't... You should be out there hunting the real killer, not attacking Charlie."

"I'm just doing my job, Constable," Robertson said, heading back to his office.

***

Aden headed round to see Joey when he and Geoff pulled back into land. He had a sneaking suspicion that his friend would be hiding out at home and he was determined to bring her out. Knocking on the door, he waited patiently for her to open up. She smiled when she saw him but looked like she had hardly slept.

"Come in," she greeted.

"Nope," he replied. "We're going out."

Joey looked set to protest but he took her hand. She grabbed her keys just as he pulled her through the door.

***

Charlie remained silent as her psychiatrist, Peter attempted to talk her through what had happened. She wasn't being rude or sullen, she just had no idea where to start. He sat by the bed and waited for her to answer his question. She didn't.

"Charlie?" he nudged. "Can you tell me why you attempted suicide?"

Charlie shook her head and fought for control of her tears. Peter sighed.

"Maybe it's too soon to talk about this," he suggested. "You only came round yesterday and by all accounts, it was a pretty traumatic experience."

Charlie chewed her lip, looking and feeling frightened.

"You'll be transferred to HDU tomorrow so we'll talk then, okay?"

Charlie nodded but didn't meet his gaze.

"And if you want to talk in the meantime, just let your nurse know and she can call me."

He turned to leave. She thanked him quietly and he nodded.

***

Ruby, Nicole and Annie had taken packed lunches to school and were sitting on the grounds. Ruby was beside herself with joy at being able to tell her friends that Charlie had woken up. She relayed conversations and couldn't stop gushing about how happy she was. She must have said seven times that she was going to see her after school. Nicole and Annie listened with patience. After the past few weeks of Ruby feeling so lost and alone, this was a refreshing change.

***

Joey kept an eye on the time as she and Aden tucked into lunch together at the Diner. Aden had offered to drop her at the hospital, which saved her a fairly long walk and he'd double checked with Irene that it was alright to go later into work for the afternoon. The Diner was abuzz with news of Charlie making her recovery and several people approached Leah and Joey both to ask after her. Joey thought Charlie would be surprised and touched by how loved she was and she made a mental note to let her know.

"Have you heard anything from Angelo?" Aden asked, wanting to make sure Joey was alright.

Joey shook her head. She wasn't sure if she was worried or glad that he hadn't been to see her. She froze. As if on cue, the policeman walked through the door. He immediately located her and approached.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked coldly.

Joey glanced anxiously at Aden.

"Pull up a chair," the blonde boy said politely.

Angelo shifted.

"Alone?" he urged.

"No," Joey replied. "I don't plan on being alone with you ever again."

He relented and sat down.

"I thought you were leaving," he said.

"I changed my mind."

Aden kept a close eye on both of them.

"I thought you and I understood each other," Angelo said.

"I understand that you tried to bully me out of town," Joey said, only feeling brave because Aden was there. "And I was all set to go. Until Charlie begged me to stay."

Angelo swallowed and looked down. He hated that Charlie so obviously cared for her.

"I think you've lost," Aden said.

Angelo turned to face him.

"Charlie loves me," he insisted.

He turned back to Joey.

"You're a phase," he said. "Nothing more."

He stood up and left.

"Thanks for being here," Joey said to Aden, who smiled in return.

He looked at his watch.

"We'd better head out and see your lady," he said.

They stood up to leave.

***

Charlie's eyes lit up when Joey appeared in the doorway of her room with chocolates. She grinned and presented them to her.

"I checked with Rebecca," she said. "You're allowed a treat."

Charlie smiled and thanked her.

"Well, I figured three weeks without chocolate must be driving you crazy," Joey smiled, sitting beside her.

Charlie immediately delved into the box and offered it to Joey. She happily took a strawberry crème and then selected another. Charlie opened up as Joey moved forwards to pop it into her mouth.

"Coffee!" Charlie grinned.

"I didn't forget," Joey said.

She took the box from Charlie as she struggled to put it on the side. They looked each other directly in the eye and smiled.

"How are you feeling?"

Charlie sighed and reached for Joey's hand. The contact was comforting.

"I had my psyche assessment today," she ventured.

"How did it go?"

"It didn't," Charlie admitted. "He kept asking me all these questions and I... I couldn't talk. I didn't know what to say."

Joey stroked her hand gently.

"What did he ask you?" Joey ventured.

"Why I did it," Charlie replied.

Joey waited patiently for her to continue. Charlie took a deep breath.

"I couldn't see any other way out," she said. "Grant, Ruby, Angelo... you. I've messed up my life so badly and I..."

She fought tears. Talking about it wasn't easy.

"Do you regret it?" Joey asked.

Charlie began to say yes and then sighed heavily. She leant back against her pillows and closed her eyes. Her silence said everything Joey needed to know. Her heart felt like it was breaking and she instinctively moved to hold her. Charlie clung on tightly and wept. She wanted so desperately to be glad that it had only been a near miss but she just couldn't manage it.

***

"It's such good news, isn't it?" Colleen said for the millionth time.

"It is," Miles agreed. "I took Ruby to the hospital and everyone was so happy that she was awake. I mean, there was a bit of tension but..."

He trailed off, already knowing he had said too much.

"Tension?" Colleen squawked. "What kind of tension."

"Nothing really," he said, glancing at Leah for help.

"It's just not the easiest thing to deal with, is it?" the restaurant owner said. "We're all glad that she's awake but it doesn't stop the reason she was in the coma from being true."

Colleen nodded and sighed. All she was looking forward to was Charlie being back on her feet and ordering her usual morning coffee again before work.

***

Charlie had attempted to shift over so that Joey could sit beside her on the bed but it hadn't worked. She was hooked up to too many machines. So Joey was back in the chair and they were holding onto each other as if their lives depended on it. Charlie felt like hers did.

"You must think I'm so selfish," Charlie sighed.

"I think you're hurting," Joey corrected. "But you'll get past this, Charlie."

"How?" Charlie asked. "I'm going to jail for a crime I didn't commit."

"You don't know that."

"Do you know what it's like for a cop in prison?" Charlie asked. "Angelo told me so many horror stories and I..."

She cried openly.

"I didn't kill him," she said. "But nobody cares about that. Robertson's out to get me and that's the end of it."

"He'll fail," Joey said firmly. "You won't go to prison, Charlie. You're innocent."

Charlie stroked Joey's fingers but remained unconvinced.

"So, next problem?" Joey asked chirpily.

Charlie couldn't help but smile.

"Ruby..."

"Loves you and wants to move back in with you and be a family again. Next?"

"Angelo," Charlie sighed.

This time Joey frowned too.

"What about him?" she asked.

"He wants us to be together and I... I don't know what I want. Every time I've seen him, he's full of proposals and plans for the future and it just terrifies me."

Joey swallowed uncertainly.

"Do... do you want to be with him?" she asked, terrified that her heart was just about to be broken.

"No," Charlie sighed.

She turned to look at Joey properly.

"I want..."

She looked down and looked at their joined hands, not feeling ready to tell Joey just how she felt about her.

"I just want to be happy," she said.

Joey leant closer and stroked Charlie's face.

"You'll get there," she said. "I know you will. If anyone can recover from this, it's you, Charlie. You're the strongest person I know. You can do this."

Charlie opened her arms and Joey moved into them, burying her face in Charlie's neck. She kissed her there without thinking and lifted her head until they were face to face. Gently, she brushed her lips against Charlie's. It felt amazing to feel her mouth again after so long. Charlie responded and held her tight. Their kiss was gentle and loving. They drew away shyly and gazed into each other's eyes.

"You're going to get through this, Charlie," she said. "And if you want me to be, I'll stay with you every step of the way... as a friend or... or whatever you need, okay?"

Charlie nodded and thanked her, gently stroking her lips with her fingertips. Joey kissed her fingers and sat back in her chair, just in time for Ruby to knock and enter the room.


	33. Chapter 33

_I hope you enjoy the chapter. After this there are only ten chapters left. Thought I'd give you all a heads up. It will be finishing a little after Forbidden does. But I have plenty more stories in the pipeline to replace them with. Thank you all so much for your reviews and messages. They are what keep me writing! Love you all, IJKS xx_

**Chapter Thirty-Three**

With Joey gone, Ruby and Charlie sat together talking. Charlie was determined to put a brave face on thing for the sake of her daughter. After everything she had been through, it wouldn't help to think that her mother still wasn't sure she was happy to be alive. That wouldn't be fair.

"How was your day?" Charlie asked.

Ruby smiled. She'd had a better day than she'd had for a long time.

"Pretty good," she said. "School was okay. I hung out with Nicole and Annie. And Geoff's taking me out to dinner tonight."

"Geoff?"

Ruby coloured. She'd spent such a long time talking to unconscious Charlie about Geoff that she'd forgotten to tell her properly. She smiled and began to explain the end of her relationship with Xavier and the beginning of her relationship with Geoff. Charlie was pleased to see her so happy.

"Maybe when you get out of here, we could all go out to dinner. Me, Geoff, you... Joey?"

The last name was full of hope. Charlie smiled. She very much liked the idea of Joey being her date for every occasion but she didn't know if Joey wanted to or if either of them could even handle that. And if she did end up with Joey, how would Angelo feel? She didn't want to hurt him.

"We can arrange something," she said, not wanting to commit to anything.

"How are things with you and Joey?" Ruby asked, getting straight to the point.

"They're... She's being very supportive."

"Have you talked about getting back together?"

Charlie shook her head.

"We need to talk about everything that happened," she said. "But I'm not ready yet."

"She forgives you," Ruby said. "And she's still in love with you."

Charlie's soul soared at the revelation. She chewed her lip and smiled, hoping that Ruby was right.

"You love her too, right? I read the letter you sent..."

"I love her," Charlie confirmed. "But everything's too confusing right now to..."

She sighed. Ruby reached for her hand and apologised.

"I didn't mean to pressure you," she said. "I just wanted you to know. In case she hadn't told you."

Charlie nodded and squeezed Ruby's hand gratefully.

"When you get out of here," Ruby ventured. "I was hoping to move back home. What do you think?"

"I would love you to!" Charlie exclaimed.

Ruby beamed at her.

"Well, that's it settled then," she said. "Although Joey's staying in my room right now so we'll have to work out who's going where. Maybe she could share with you..."

She smirked to show she was teasing, although Charlie privately admitted that the idea was far from horrific.

"Have they said when you'll get out of here?" Ruby asked. "I mean, you're better now, right?"

"They're still a bit worried about my heart," Charlie said. "They're transferring me to a HDU ward tomorrow and then I'll have my psyche assessment and I guess we'll go from there."

"What's an HDU ward?" Ruby asked.

"High Dependency Unit," Charlie explained. "It's like the bridge between Intensive Care and a ward."

Ruby nodded.

"So, when the psychiatrist says things are fine in your head and they've made sure everything's good with your heart, you can come home, right?"

Charlie appreciated Ruby's optimism and nodded.

"That's right," she said.

* * *

The following morning, Charlie prepared to be transferred to another unit. Rebecca helped her out of bed and the police officer was thrilled to be allowed to have a shower. Having been horizontal for so much time, it felt strange to be up and the DVT stockings were nothing short of hideous. She felt a little shaky on her feet, but with help, she made it to the shower cubicle and stepped inside. She relished the hot water cascading onto her body and spent time washing herself and her hair. Rebecca helped her dry and change as physical exhaustion took over and then she led her back to her room. Joey had been rotating pyjamas over the previous three weeks, making sure she had fresh ones regularly. In her room, she and Rebecca carefully packed up her things. Charlie held onto Ted, the toy she'd been thrilled to find sleeping beside her, courtesy of Joey. She kept meaning to mention it to her but it kept slipping her mind. It meant a lot to Charlie to have him, as she knew what he meant to Joey. By quarter to ten, Charlie and all her worldly possessions were wheeled to the next ward. She thanked Rebecca and said goodbye to her, knowing how well she'd been looked after by the nurse. At ten o'clock, Angelo arrived with flowers and commented on how much better she looked.

"They let me shower!" she said excitedly.

A twinge surged through her body and she frowned. Apparently she wasn't allowed to be stressed or happy either. She couldn't help wondering how life would be now and how she would fair in prison, a place she was sure she would be going to.

"That's great," Angelo said, holding her hand. "Now Joey and Ruby can stop washing your hair and stuff."

He'd hated the thought of Joey touching his Charlie and was glad that she had no excuse to do so anymore. Charlie couldn't help but note his town when it came to saying Joey's name.

"They were being good to me," she said softly.

He nodded and dropped her hand.

"I don't want her to be good to you," he admitted. "I don't like Joey hanging around here."

"She means a lot to me, Angelo," Charlie said. "You know that."

"Exactly!" Angelo snapped.

Charlie jumped. Her chest twinged again.

"I know exactly what she means to you," he said, not noticing. "And I don't like it, Charlie. You're with me now..."

"I thought we were just friends at the moment," Charlie pointed out quickly.

"Well, yeah, okay but... we're going to get back together, right?"

He waited for confirmation but she didn't give it to him.

"And when we do," he said, ignoring her silence. "I don't want her interfering. She thinks you might get back with her. You won't, will you?"

"I can't make a decision about anything at the moment," Charlie said. "Right now, it's taking all my energy just to keep breathing."

He studied her face.

"You are happy to have woken up, aren't you, Charlie?" he asked.

She nodded but didn't mean it. Then she realised that the only person she had trusted with the truth was Joey. She berated herself for not being more forthright and worried that she was stringing them both along. It wasn't what she meant to do. It just felt impossible to push forward with anything in her current situation. It all felt so unreal, so painful and so confusing.

* * *

"Are you feeling better?" Aden asked.

He'd taken the day off work and headed round to see Joey, wanting to check on her. She smiled and nodded as they sat at the kitchen table together, eating a late breakfast.

"I think if Angelo was going to try and force me away again, he would have done it by now," she said. "And I don't think he wants to upset Charlie so I feel almost safe."

She chose not to mention that her nightmares, the ones that had plagued her straight after Robbo's attack, had returned.

"Good," Aden said. "And you know if he so much as looks at you again, you have to tell me, alright?"

Joey nodded and promised that she would.

* * *

When they visited, Ross and Morag also commented that Charlie was looking brighter. Charlie explained how much the shower had meant to her and how grateful she was for it, although had complained a little that until she'd had her official psyche assessment, she wasn't allowed a razor to shave her legs with.

"When's you appointment?" Morag asked.

"In an hour," Charlie said.

She was not looking forward to it.

"You'll be fine," Ross said. "Just explain that it was a mistake that you regret."

He sounded so confident and optimistic. It made Charlie feel sad but she refused to let it show.

* * *

"I'm glad to see you, Constable," Robertson said brightly when Angelo arrived at the station.

Angelo looked at him with trepidation. He was never sure what was going to happen next.

"We need you to hold the forte while Constable Watson and I go and interview sleeping beauty."

Angelo glanced at Watson who looked decidedly unhappy about the whole thing.

"She's not up to interviews," Angelo said quickly.

"I hear she's been moved out of intensive care," Robertson pointed.

"Well, yes, but it doesn't mean she's well," Angelo told him.

"I won't push too hard," Robertson said.

He signalled to Watson and they left together, one looking much perkier than the other.

* * *

There was a knock on the door of Charlie's room and then her new nurse, Sandy, came in.

"Sorry," she said. "But there are two police officers here to see you, Charlie."

Charlie sighed. She knew they'd come. She had just hoped it wouldn't be now, especially as it would cut short her visit with her father and step-mother.

"She's not up to it," Ross insisted.

Sandy looked and felt helpless. Reluctantly, Ross and Morag stood and kissed Charlie goodbye, promising to return later. Charlie nodded and thanked them, taking a deep breath as she waited for Robertson to appear. She smiled when she saw Watson behind him, looking awkward and compassionate.

"How are you feeling?" Watson asked, ignoring protocol for a moment.

"Pretty awful," Charlie admitted.

Robertson seated himself in the chair Morag had recently vacated.

"Up to answering a couple of questions?" he asked.

"Not really but I guess that doesn't matter," Charlie said.

"Did you write a suicide note?" he asked.

Charlie swallowed and eventually nodded.

"Who to?"

"I wrote one to Ruby and one to Joey."

Robertson looked triumphant.

"What?" Charlie asked worriedly.

"Joey's been insisting no such note existed," Watson explained.

"I presume she didn't want to get you in trouble," Robertson said. "Did you confess?"

"I didn't have anything to confess," Charlie said through gritted teeth.

Her chest began to ache. Robertson nodded, making a mental note to track Joey down later.

"I don't suppose your nice long rest has helped you shed any light onto what happened to Grant?" he said.

"I don't know any more than I did before," Charlie answered.

Robertson sighed.

"Charlie, if you did it," he said. "You'd be helping yourself to confess. It'd look much better in court."

"You're advising me as if I didn't know how the legal system works," Charlie pointed out. "I didn't do it."

"Where were you on the night of the murder?"

"I told you," Charlie sighed. "I was asleep. Alone."

Robertson smiled pleasantly.

"Just checking," he said, standing up. "Have a nice day."

Watson stood too and squeezed Charlie's hand. She hated being part of this interrogation and she was determined to prove that Charlie had done nothing wrong.


	34. Chapter 34

_Woohoo! Brighton has now elected our first Green MP! Hooray! Anyway... I hope you enjoy the chapter. Love, IJKS xxx_

**Chapter Thirty-Four**

Charlie watched Peter enter the room and sit down. She replied when he said hello.

"Are you feeling a little more talkative today?" he asked.

Charlie merely nodded. She didn't want to speak unless she had to.

"Good," he said. "And how are you feeling today?"

"Tired," she said.

"Emotionally?"

"Tired," she repeated. "I feel like..."

She struggled for words and then turned her head to face him directly.

"I feel like I'm surrounded by a kind of fog," she said. "I'm lost in this confusion and I can't make a decision."

Peter scribbled a note and nodded.

"What kind of decisions do you need to make right now, Charlie?" he asked.

Charlie turned to look up at the ceiling. She looked down at her bandaged wrists and felt gratefully she could see none of the scars on her body.

"My boyfriend... my ex-boyfriend... he, he keeps saying he wants to marry me. But I... I don't... it's too hard to make that kind of decision now and... and... I just want to be friends until I can clear the mess in my head. I... I don't know think I ever want to be with him like that again," she explained.

"And why is that?"

"Before I did... this," Charlie said gesturing to her body. "I thought he was cheating on me. He's had three weeks to prove how much he loves me but I haven't seen any of it. I haven't... I just... And now my ex-girlfriend's here and I..."

She closed her eyes.

"How do you feel about her?" Peter asked.

Charlie was grateful he hadn't reacted to the revelation that she'd been with a woman. It made her hope that it didn't matter so much after all.

"I love her," Charlie said honestly. "But I messed everything up last time because I wasn't strong enough to deal with what people might think of me and... I... I doubt I'm much stronger now. I'm even weaker than before. And I don't even know how she feels about me except that she's promised to be there for whatever I need and she forgave me for what I did to her when she found out what had happened. But I... if something happened then it'd hurt Angelo. We kind of kissed and..."

"Charlie, take a breath," Peter instructed.

Charlie blushed and did what he said. Her chest was aching.

"So now you have to choose between this ex-boyfriend and ex-girlfriend?" he asked.

Charlie nodded.

"But I'm not ready," she said. "There's so much going on and I... I don't want to string anyone along."

Peter nodded.

"Can I make a suggestion?" he asked.

Charlie waited with baited breath.

"You need to focus on yourself right now," he told her. "You need to deal with your own feelings, on how to live happily, not about other people."

Charlie nodded, although she felt very selfish.

"And how do you feel right now? About life? About living?"

Charlie just shrugged.

"You're not happy to be alive?" Peter queried.

She wanted to say yes but she couldn't. It was a lie and lies had destroyed her life far too many times before.

* * *

Joey sighed when she opened the door up to Detective Robertson.

"Charlie told me about the letter," he said. "I want it. And if you don't hand it over, you're going to be in trouble for hindering a police investigation."

Joey folded her arms.

"I don't have it anymore," she told him.

It was mostly true. She only had a photocopy.

"What happened to it?" Robertson asked.

"Constable Rosetta found it when you searched me last time," Joey told him. "He took it and ripped it up."

Robertson frowned. Angelo was in deep trouble when he got hold of him.

"Thank you for your time," he said politely before heading back to his car.

* * *

"Would you say that your suicide attempt was a bid to die or a cry for help?"

"A bid to die," she replied honestly.

"And how do you feel now that you've survived?"

She thought about it for several moments. She pictured Ruby and Joey, two people that made her so happy. She imagined Ross and Morag. Then she thought about Angelo and frowned. And her certainty that she was going to prison only compounded her fear, confusion and sadness.

"Disappointed," she said.

"Can you elaborate?" Peter asked.

She shook her head.

"Try?" he requested.

She sighed and closed her eyes.

"I feel bad for what I put them through. They've been visiting and waiting and... if I'd just done it properly then they would have been over it by now. They would have had the funeral and moved on with their lives. They..."

"Do you really think your death would be so easy to get over?" Peter asked. "In three weeks?"

Charlie nodded, although it hurt to believe it was true.

"I wasn't exactly having the best of relationships with people when I..."

She made a vague cutting motion in the direction of her wrists.

"Was that your reasoning to do what you did?" Peter asked.

"I'm being accused of a murder I didn't commit, the murder of a man who raped me when I was a teenager," she said. "I'd lost the love of my life several months ago, my boyfriend looked like he was cheating on me and I'd destroyed any chance I had of having a relationship with my daughter. I thought I was doing everyone a favour. But I... I just hurt them more. I guess that's what I'm good at."

She turned a little, wincing as she did so. She didn't want to face him.

* * *

"Constable, a word please?" Robertson said to Angelo as soon as he arrived back at the station.

Worried, Angelo stood and followed him into the office, aware of all his colleagues watching them. Some were compassionate to his situation and some were still suspicious of him.

"You found the letter Charlie wrote to Joey Collins," Robertson accused.

Angelo blanched.

"And you tore it up," he said. "You destroyed evidence."

"I photocopied it first," Angelo said.

"Like that's any good!" Robertson shouted, losing his rag for the first time since he'd arrived in Summer Bay.

Angelo shrank back and swallowed, hating Joey even more than ever.

"Who has the photocopy?" Robertson asked.

"Joey," Angelo told him. "And I've got one too."

"Bring it," Robertson ordered.

Hanging his head, Angelo headed back to his desk to retrieve it.

* * *

"Okay, Charlie, I'm going to prescribe you some medication, okay?"

She turned back to him.

"It's a strong anti-depressant and it'll make you feel very sedated for a few days but you should notice a difference in your mood fairly quickly."

Charlie frowned. The last thing she needed was to be sedated after a coma. But she hoped that maybe the pills would work. She hated being told that she was depressed but she supposed the evidence was fairly damning.

"Now, Charlie, the decision I have to make next is what to do with you. What do you think should happen?"

"The sedative could last forever?" Charlie said unhappily and without thinking.

Peter made more notes.

"I think you need to spend some time in a psychiatric ward," he said.

"No!" Charlie protested in alarm.

"Charlie..."

"I won't try it again," she said quickly. "I swear."

"You tried to kill yourself and you're not happy that you survived," Peter said reasonably. "I can't just trust that you'll leave yourself alone from now. You need to be taken care of."

"I'll be taken care of in a normal ward," Charlie pointed out.

"What about after that?"

She shrugged.

"I think you need psychotherapy and support," Peter said. "You need careful monitoring."

"Can't my family keep an eye on me?" Charlie asked desperately.

"Do you think they would?" he asked. "Twenty-four-seven?"

"I could ask."

"Okay, well I'll come back in a few days," Peter told her. "I'll give the drugs the chance to start working and then we'll talk some more. If you can find someone to act as a carer then we can talk about letting you go home. You'll get visits every day from psychiatric nurses."

Charlie nodded and thanked him. He stood and shook her hand politely.

"I'll talk to your nurse about your new medication."


	35. Chapter 35

_Here's a sneaky update before we head out to my hospital appointment. Yes, I spend all my time in hospital! But I do get to go and have lunch with my Mum so, yey! Anyway... enjoy. Love, IJKS xx_

**Chapter Thirty-Five**

With the photocopy of Charlie's suicide note finally in his possession, Robertson eagerly picked up his investigation. In the note, Charlie had professed her innocence but she had confessed to kidnapping and torturing the deceased. Now he was running through the report on his death, gathering evidence that he had definitely been tortured a few days before he died. And while Robertson wanted to believe in her, the latest development painted her guilty as sin.

* * *

After lunch, Joey headed in to see Charlie. She was a little afraid of bumping into Angelo but she was determined not to be bullied again. He had nearly cost her these precious moments with Charlie and he was not going to achieve that again as far as she was concerned.

"I brought you more choccies," Joey grinned.

"You're actually an angel," Charlie declared.

Sitting beside her ex-girlfriend, Joey helped Charlie tuck into the box.

"How did your appointment go?" Joey asked, getting straight to the point.

"He wants me to go onto a psyche ward unless I can prove that I've got someone or a group of people willing to look after me twenty-four hours a day until he says I no longer need it," Charlie explained.

"Well, I... I'd look after you," Joey offered. "I mean, I'm not working right now. I'll need to look for something fairly soon but at the moment, I'm free as a bird. So I'd happily spend time with you, look after you, whatever you need."

Charlie's eyes lit up.

"Really?" she asked.

Joey nodded.

"Thank you," Charlie said. "He's coming back in a few days so if you could be here, you could tell him that."

Joey nodded. Charlie popped a chocolate into her mouth as a reward for being so kind. Joey felt a thrill shoot through her as Charlie's fingers touched her lips. They smiled at each other.

"You really are the loveliest person I've ever known," Charlie said honestly.

Joey turned a little pink and held her hand, careful, as ever, of her bandages. She lifted Charlie's hand to her lips and kissed the back of it. They continued to gaze lovingly at each other. There was so much still to discuss but Joey had already decided that there was plenty of time for that. She didn't want to put any pressure on her anymore. What she did want to know was if Charlie was feeling any better now.

"I'm getting there," Charlie said, trying to sound enthusiastic.

"You want to be alive?" Joey asked hopefully. "Because in case you hadn't noticed, we all like you being alive."

She grinned, making Charlie giggle.

"I am feeling a little clearer about things," she said. "But even if everything with my relationships got fixed, I still have one big problem."

Joey waited for her to elaborate.

"I'm going to spend the rest of my life in prison for a murder I didn't commit," Charlie said sadly.

"You won't," Joey insisted immediately. "You didn't do it so how could they possibly find you guilty?"

Charlie stroked Joey's face affectionately. Both of them tingled at the touch and let it linger for as long as possible.

"It doesn't matter," Charlie said sadly. "If they can't find another culprit with another motive then I don't have a chance."

Joey sighed heavily. She held Charlie's hand to her lips again.

"You won't get prosecuted," she said. "You didn't do it so there can't be any evidence, can there? And if they do... I don't know... I'll confess and pretend I did it."

Charlie laughed and then studied her face.

"You'd actually do that, wouldn't you?" she realised.

Joey nodded, hoping Charlie didn't think she was an idiot. But right now, she knew she'd do anything for her.

"I have no idea how I could ever have been so stupid as to let you go," Charlie admitted.

She tugged on Joey's hand, pulling her closer. With their faces so close, they breathed in each other's scent. Joey steeled herself to take a risk and gently pressed her lips against Charlie's for the second time in as many days. Their lips brushed together tenderly and neither of them chose to deepen it. For now, they didn't need to. Gently breaking apart, Joey rested her forehead against Charlie's. Part of her was desperate to know what it all meant. Did Charlie want to be with her again? Or was she merely feeling vulnerable? But she was determined not to put any pressure on the woman she loved. Joey sat back down quickly when the door opened. Realising that she'd interrupted something, Sandy apologised and explained that Ross and Morag were here to see Charlie.

"They got interrupted this morning," Charlie explained. "The police were here."

Joey nodded, remembering Robertson's visit. She stood up.

"I'll let them spend some time with you," she offered.

"Are you sure?"

"I'd love to be selfish and steal all your time but I won't," Joey grinned. "I've got a nice relationship with your Dad and Morag now so I wouldn't want to ruin it."

Sandy disappeared to tell Ross and Morag that they could come in when Joey was out. Joey kissed Charlie goodbye, letting her lips linger on Charlie's mouth for a few extra moments. She stroked her hair and face affectionately and then turned to swap shifts with Ross and Morag.

"Joey!" Charlie called out.

Joey turned back to her.

"Thanks for Ted," she said, waving Joey's bear at her.

Joey smiled.

"I figured he could keep you safe when I'm not around," she replied.

* * *

After work, Angelo went out for a run to clear his head. The more time passed where Charlie wasn't responding to him the way he'd like, the more disappointed he was. And he couldn't help becoming bitter. He hated Joey. He wished she had never come back. And he was certain that she was doing everything she could to steal Charlie away from her. And he believed it was probably working. _I wish she'd just died_, he thought to himself. The bitter thought surprised him so much that he stumbled and crashed onto the sand. Remaining where he was on the beach, Angelo took several deep breaths and gazed up at the sky with tear-filled eyes.

* * *

"You kissed her?" Ruby shrieked excitedly. "Three times?"

Charlie's daughter was positively bouncing at the thought of Charlie and Joey being together again. It made Charlie laugh and wince in equal measure. Gone was the girl who had completely freaked out when she'd caught the girls kissing that morning in Charlie's car.

"I don't know what it means yet," Charlie said. "So don't get over excited."

Still, she couldn't stop smiling. Ruby reached to hold her hand, beaming at her.

"It means you love each other," she said. "Doesn't it?"

"I do love her," Charlie said. "And I think she feels the same."

"Of course she feels the same, Charlie!" Ruby said. "She's worshipped you since she met you. And you have no idea how dedicated she's been to you since you... went to sleep."

She frowned a little. Charlie squeezed her hand.

"She's visited every day, she came up with the idea of washing you hair, she's bought presents, she's made the effort to get along with Ross and Morag and... Charlie, she has been so good to me. She's listened to me rambling on about anything and everything. She's taken care of me. Hugo started yelling at me not so long ago about Xave and she stood up to him."

"She did?"

Ruby nodded. They both knew that Joey wasn't a very confrontational person and it meant a lot that she'd been willing to stand up for someone she cared about.

"What are you going to do about Angelo?" Ruby asked.

"I've already ended it with him but I'll have to let him know that it's not temporary. Even if nothing comes of me and Joey, it's not right to be with him if I don't love him. It's not fair. He's such a lovely, gentle guy and..."

"Ha!" Ruby remarked.

Charlie eyed her curiously.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," Ruby said quickly.

"Ruby..."

"It's nothing," Ruby said. "Please don't ask me."

She didn't want to stress Charlie out and Joey had given her very strict orders about keeping quiet. Charlie didn't look satisfied but let it go.

"Anyway, now that we've analysed your love life, let me tell you how great mine is at the moment!" Ruby said, changing the subject and making Charlie laugh.

"Go right ahead," Charlie agreed, thrilled that she and Ruby could chat so easily together again, just like they used to.

* * *

Well into the night, when Watson's shift had long since been over, she stayed at work and pored over the murder case that she was desperate to find some loophole in. There was no way she was going to let Charlie go down for something she wasn't capable of. No matter what that evil man had done to her, there was no way Charlie had it in her to kill someone. Watson was determined to do everything she could to protect her.


	36. Chapter 36

_This chapter is dedicated to CJ4Eva who read and reviewed every single chapter of this story the other day! I am astounded! And ever so grateful. And thank you to all the recent people who have reviewed for the first time after silently reading for a while. Glad to hear from you! I hope everyone enjoys the chapter. Love, IJKS xxx_

**Chapter Thirty-Six**

"Has something happened?" Charlie asked Angelo.

He'd come to visit her for a couple of hours before work. Confused, he asked her what she meant.

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

He froze, picturing Grant's dead body before forcing the image away. He held her hand and smiled.

"Of course not," he said.

She didn't look completely convinced.

"Why?"

"It's just..."

Charlie sighed and told him it didn't matter. She had been thinking about Ruby's comment about Angelo the night before. It disturbed her. There was obviously something she wasn't being let in on and she couldn't figure out what it was. It bugged her and worried her. Relieved not to have to talk about anything difficult, Angelo relaxed.

"Okay," he said. "Well, I was thinking, when you're out of here, I might take some time off work and spend time with you."

Charlie looked and felt awkward.

"Joey said she'd look after me," she said. "I need twenty-four-seven care until the psychiatrist discharges me and... well, she's not working right now and she said she'd..."

Angelo nodded. His expression was bitter.

"Are you together?" he asked.

Charlie swallowed.

"Not exactly," she said. "I mean... we might be soon."

His glare turned her blood cold.

"What about me?" he asked.

"I really care for you but I just... I love Joey."

"Did you ever love me?"

She nodded.

"I'm just not _in _love with you. I'm sorry."

Her heart was racing and it was evident on the monitor. Angelo didn't seem to notice. His eyes were boring into her and making her very uncomfortable.

"I've sat here day after day," he said. "I proposed, I loved you, I did everything I could to make you happy, Charlie."

"I know," Charlie said softly.

"But it's not enough," he concluded.

She apologised. He stood up quickly. Her heart lurched.

"Look, why don't I give you time to think?" he said. "You've been through all this trauma and your head's not in the right space, is it? You're confused and you're hurting and... and there's so much going on. I know there's still a chance for us, Charlie. I love you too much to let you go."

She tried to object but he interrupted her.

"I'll give you some space, okay?" he said, kissing her lips without permission.

He smiled and hurried from the room.

* * *

Robertson was surprised to find Watson half asleep at her desk.

"Haven't you been home?" he asked.

Her uniform was rumpled and she had terrible bags under her eyes. She looked startled and shook her head.

"How come?"

"I know Charlie didn't kill Grant," she told him.

He was surprised by the desperation in her eyes.

"I know she's innocent. And I just... I've been trying to find proof."

"Have you found anything?"

"No," she sighed.

"I know you don't want her to be guilty, Watson but..."

"She's not!" Watson insisted. "I know Charlie. I've worked with her for over a year. She's not like that. She'd never..."

Robertson nodded and sighed.

"Did you read the latest?" he asked.

There was evidence that at some point in the days before Grant's death, he had been struck with a tazer. Repeatedly. And a photocopy of Charlie's letter to Joey proved that it was Charlie who did it.

"What do you think? If she's capable of torture, wouldn't she be capable of...?"

"No!" Watson interrupted. "She wouldn't. She didn't. I know it."

"I admire your loyalty," Robertson told her before heading into his office.

* * *

Charlie was feeling strange, not to mention lonely. Angelo had left an hour early so she had an empty visiting slot. She was surprised to find just how much she appreciated visits from anyone. She was also confused about how he had reacted to her telling him about Joey. He appeared to be in complete denial over it. She was surprised. Normally he was the kind of person to deal with things head on. Although, thinking back to how he had coped with Jack's death, pretending he'd had nothing to do with it, maybe the harder things were impossible for him to face. She hoped he would be alright. Now she had no idea where they stood.

* * *

Joey was cheerful when she approached Irene at the Diner.

"Hello, love," the older woman said pleasantly. "How are you? How's Charlie?"

"We're both pretty good," Joey said. "She's recovering well."

"Glad to hear it," Irene said. "What can I get you?"

"Um... well, actually I was after a job," Joey admitted. "Aden said there might be work on your trawler. I wouldn't be able to start for a bit but... Any chance?"

* * *

Robertson knocked politely on Charlie's hospital room door. Entering, he saw Charlie's face fall.

"Sorry," he said. "I know I'm not someone you particularly like seeing."

"Are you here to arrest me?" she asked, getting right to the point.

"Not yet," he said, sitting down. "But I am here to tell you that when you leave hospital, if Watson hasn't succeeded in her little mission, you will be formally charged with Grant Bledcoe's murder."

Charlie sighed and closed her eyes.

"I didn't do it," she said, although she knew it would do no good.

"Let's hope Watson's plan works then," he replied.

Opening her eyes, she questioned him over what Watson had to do with anything.

"She believes in your innocence about a thousand per cent," Robertson explained. "And she literally pulled an all nighter trying to prove it. Maybe she'll succeed."

* * *

At two o'clock when Ross and Morag came to visit, Charlie asked them to ask Watson to come in and see her. She put a brave face on as she explained that she would eventually be formally charged with the murder of her rapist. Her father looked more distressed than she did and he held onto her tightly.

"We'll get you out of this," he said. "We can make it right."

* * *

Angelo froze when he overheard Robertson on the phone talking about charging Charlie when she was released from hospital. Guilt flooded him and his desire to tell the truth and save her was almost overwhelming. Sinking down at his desk, he knew he couldn't do it. He loved Charlie more than anything but the idea of going to prison, probably for two life sentences as his get out clause over Jack's death was unlikely to stand, was too much. He looked at Watson. She looked like death warmed up. Maybe they could work together to save Charlie without him having to confess.

* * *

"No chocolates?" Charlie pouted when Joey arrived in her room.

"Will trashy magazines suffice?" she asked, waving a handful of gossip magazines at her.

Charlie beamed at her and Joey smiled back, making her way over and placing them on her lap. A little shyly, she leant forward and placed a soft kiss on Charlie's mouth. She was pleased when she felt Charlie return the gesture. Things were feeling more natural by the day.

"How are you?"

Charlie sighed and suddenly looked very sad.

"Charlie?" Joey asked worriedly.

"They're going to charge me when I leave hospital," she said.

Joey looked stricken.

"What?" she said. "How can they? You didn't do it!"

"Doesn't matter," Charlie sighed. "Looks like I get to spent the next fifteen plus years in jail."

Joey held onto her hand. She tried to focus and not break down. Charlie needed strength now. Joey didn't want to let her down.

"I could tell them..."

"No," Charlie said quickly.

They'd talked the day before about Joey telling the police she'd done it. Charlie knew she meant it but she was not willing to let it happen. Joey sighed, wracking her brains for something, anything that would help.

* * *

Ross and Morag sat down to lunch together at home. Both were feeling desperate over Charlie's news. What good was it for her to wake up and then go to prison for something she didn't commit? How would that ever make her happy to be alive?

"We need to find who did this," Ross said. "I mean, if someone loved her enough to kill the man who raped her then surely they love her enough to confess and not let her go to jail?"

Morag sighed. She still had her suspicions about Angelo. He'd killed before. He seemed the most likely candidate. She opted to keep her theory to herself, however. The last thing Charlie or anyone needed was for Ross to charge at Angelo all guns blazing.

* * *

Charlie was amazed that even in the circumstances, Joey was capable of making her feel good. They were holding hands and Joey had firmly asserted that Charlie would not go to prison, that she and Ruby would develop a wonderful relationship and everything would be perfect.

"And how do you fit into all this?" Charlie asked curiously.

Joey smiled.

"I get to wait patiently until you tell me what role you want me to have."

Charlie gazed at her. She broke her hand away and stroked her face.

"I want you to be my girlfriend," she admitted.

Her confession surprised her but she meant it. Joey beamed at her and leant a little closer.

"If you want to," Charlie added. "If... I mean, you probably don't... We haven't talked about what happened when you left and now we have to deal with..."

Joey leant forward and kissed her. Charlie immediately got caught up in the love flowing between them. For the first time since they had reunited, they let the kiss develop. Joey felt thrills running through her and Charlie's tongue touched her lips. She welcomed her inside, melting into her and never wanting the moment to end.

"Get the fuck away from her!"

Joey drew back sharply. She and Charlie blanched as Angelo stood in the doorway looking furious.


	37. Chapter 37

_For Drowningnotwaving. I'm so sorry I was too poorly to meet you today. Here's hoping the next instalment of your favourite IJKS-fic will make up for it! IJKS xx_

**Chapter Thirty-Seven**

Joey was frightened as Angelo's eyes blazed. She felt like they were burning into her soul. Trapped in her hospital bed, Charlie stared at her ex-boyfriend. He waved flowers angrily at her and dumped on the bed.

"I thought I was giving you space!" he said. "I thought we could work it out!"

"I tried to tell you this morning," Charlie said. "But you wouldn't listen."

"I was doing the right thing," he insisted. "Everything I've done... everything, I..."

He ran his hands through his hair. Joey's whole body was rigid. She sat in her chair beside Charlie wondering what ought to be done for the best.

"It's her, isn't it?" Angelo accused. "She's seducing you. She's making you think that you love her but you don't, Charlie."

"I do," Charlie argued.

"You don't!" he yelled. "You love me!"

"Angelo..."

"She's just a phase. Sooner or later you were always going to want a man," he insisted. "Unfortunately for Joey it was pretty damn quickly!"

Charlie felt like she'd been slapped with the reminder of how she had cheated on her. Joey looked equally unhappy.

"You'll always go back to men, Charlie and of all the men in the world, it'll always be me. We had a connection from day one, back in a different life when I was cheeky and annoying and funny and charming. This... her... she's not right for you."

"Angelo, I'm in love with her," Charlie said.

Her heart had been struggling all day and now it was getting worse. Joey glanced at the monitor as Charlie's heart began to race.

"Charlie..." she said worriedly, touching her arm.

"Don't fucking touch her!" Angelo yelled.

Joey jumped back. A surge of pain shot through Charlie's body. The monitors beeped but too much anger and fear was rushing through Angelo's brain for him to comprehend that he was stressing her out too much.

"All of this is your fault!" he told Joey. "You should never have come back. You should have left when I damn well told you to."

"What?" Charlie said, gasping a little for breath. "You..."

Joey hit the emergency button, desperately worried about the state Charlie was in. The nurse appeared in minutes and rushed to Charlie's side.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Nothing," Angelo lied.

"Well one of you is stressing her out so I'd like you both to leave please," the nurse told them.

She turned to Charlie and encouraged her to breathe properly. Joey and Angelo both gave her lingering looks before they left in order to wait outside.

"You have to stay calm at all times, Charlie," Sandy said gently to her patient. "You're not strong enough for any of this yet, okay?"

Charlie nodded.

"Can Joey come back in?" she asked. "It wasn't her. She didn't..."

"Okay," Sandy agreed. "In a little while."

* * *

Angelo and Joey stood far apart in the waiting room, both feeling anxious about Charlie.

"Why is it that whenever you're around you stuff things up for Charlie?" Angelo accused.

Joey turned sharply towards him.

"I stuff things up?" she exclaimed. "Are you kidding me?"

"No, I'm not," Angelo snapped. "You should have just left when I told you to."

"Charlie begged me to stay," Joey said, sounding so smug that he was close to losing control.

"You are no good for her," he growled. "She deserves to be with me."

"Oh come on, Angelo," Joey said, feeling bold. "Nobody's so bad that they deserve that."

Enraged, Angelo made a grab for her but she ducked out of the way. Sandy interrupted them upon her exit from Charlie's room.

"What on earth is going on here?" she demanded.

Joey quickly apologised.

"This isn't any way to conduct yourselves in a hospital," Sandy told them.

She stormed back to the nurse's station and looked up at Joey.

"She wants you to go back in," she said.

Joey hurried towards the door. Angelo looked crestfallen.

"What about me?" he asked weakly.

"She didn't mention you," Sandy replied.

Angrily, Angelo stormed out of the unit towards his car. Joey made her way back into Charlie's room.

* * *

"What is going on with you and Angelo?" Charlie asked immediately.

"Nothing," Joey lied.

Charlie stared at her in disbelief. Joey came to sit beside her.

"We just don't get on," she said. "And whoever thought we would? We're both in love with the same woman, after all."

Charlie studied her face. She noticed the way her jaw was clenched. That usually meant that she was trying very hard to lie convincingly, something she wasn't very good at. Joey was the kind of girl who wore her heart on her sleeve. It wasn't in her nature to be dishonest.

"Joey, if you don't tell me the truth I will have another heart attack!" Charlie threatened.

They stared each other out for a moment before Joey laughed.

"You can't pull the heart attack trick every time you want something, young lady," she said affectionately.

She sighed and studied the fragile woman in the bed before her. She reached out to hold her hand.

"What happened before?" she asked tenderly. "Are you okay?"

Charlie nodded.

"I just got a bit stressed," she said. "I need to learn to take it easy, I guess."

"You do," Joey agreed.

* * *

Angrily, Angelo stormed back into work. All he could picture was the intimacy between Charlie and Joey. It made him sick. Charlie was meant to be with him, not her. How could Joey ever make Charlie happy? And if she loved kissing and sleeping with girls so much, what did that say about how she felt when she was with men? What did she feel about being with him? Did he compare? Did Charlie ever compare the two of them or did she keep them separate in her mind? Why was Joey so special? Why had Charlie chosen her over him? Throwing himself into a chair, he began to read through paperwork but he wasn't really concentrating.

"Angelo?"

He turned to look at Watson.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he lied.

"I uh... I think I might have found something to help Charlie," she ventured.

"I don't care," he told her, returning to his work.

* * *

Joey and Ruby swapped shifts. Ruby was excited to see the way her mother and Joey so affectionately said goodbye. Geoff stood in the door a little embarrassed. He still didn't know Charlie and Joey that well and he worried about intruding on their personal lives. When Joey was gone, Ruby hurried to fill her chair.

"Tell me you and Joey are back on!" she begged.

Geoff came to sit on the other side of the patient. Charlie nodded. Ruby squealed in delight.

"But you have to tell me something before I give you any details," Charlie said more seriously.

"What?"

"Something happened between Joey and Angelo," Charlie said. "I need you to tell me what it is."


	38. Chapter 38

_There are five chapters left to go after this so we'll soon be reaching our climax. And it's all kicking off now...! Enjoy! Love IJKS xx_

**Chapter Thirty-Eight**

"Joey told me not to say anything," Ruby said.

She anxiously twisted her fingers in her lap, worrying about what she should and shouldn't say. Originally, she had wanted Charlie to know everything but she'd been convinced otherwise as nobody wanted their loved one to come under any more stress than she was already having to endure.

"Please?" Charlie said. "It's more stressful knowing I'm having something hidden from me."

Ruby sighed and perched on the edge of the bed. She held her mother's hands and tentatively began to explain that Angelo had hated Joey from the moment she first showed up.

* * *

With her shift long since over, Watson remained at her desk, trawling through the Grant Bledcoe murder case for the hundredth time. There was no murder weapon. There were no finger prints. There was an assumption that he had been stabbed at the fish market but died at the beach. He'd been stabbed several times. Only his and Alf's footprints could be seen at the crime scene. Sipping her coffee, Watson's eyes suddenly widened.

"They're not necessarily his," she said to herself.

Rummaging through the papers she felt her heart leap with joy as the footprint size didn't quite match Grant's. And they were certainly too big to be Charlie's. She picked up the phone to call Robertson.

* * *

"He threatened her?" Charlie asked in disbelief.

She had always thought that Angelo was so gentle. Jack's death had been an accident and she had never known him to be aggressive any other time in his life. And the idea of him bullying her beloved Joey was absolutely abhorrent.

"He tore up the letter you sent her," Ruby added. "I think she was more upset about that than about anything."

"And that's why she was leaving?" Charlie asked. "Because he was forcing her to?"

Ruby nodded and retained her grip on Charlie's hand. Her mother was trembling slightly. She felt terrible for putting Joey in danger and she wished someone had told her what Angelo had done. Perhaps then she wouldn't have worried so much about hurting his feelings.

* * *

"Okay, we need to get shoe size samples of every suspect," Robertson told Watson.

Nobody would have believed him but he was glad that it looked like they might be able to clear Charlie's name. He didn't want her to go down for killing her rapist if she didn't do it. And even if she did do it, he couldn't say that he was sad that the guy had died. He was evil as far as Robertson was concerned. But unfortunately, the victim's personal life didn't make their murder any less of a crime.

"So that's Charlie, Ruby, Angelo..."

"Throw Joey in as well," Robertson said. "And the parents."

Watson nodded, although she didn't see the point in adding Joey. She hadn't even been on land at the time, let alone in town.

* * *

Charlie was unhappy with the news although she definitely no longer cared about upsetting Angelo. Even if Joey wasn't in the picture, being with a man capable of threatening a vulnerable woman was definitely not something she wanted. She was surprised and disappointed and very much wanted him out of her life now. She and Ruby looked up when the door opened.

"Hi there," the nurse said cheerfully. "I have some good news."

"Can I go home?" Charlie asked immediately.

"The next best thing," the nurse replied. "We're moving you to a regular ward."

"Thank goodness," Charlie said, genuinely relieved.

Moving to a normal ward was the next step to being allowed home. Certain that she was now facing years in prison, she was desperate for as much freedom as possible.

* * *

Joey and Aden were enjoying a beer together at the Surf Club. Life felt a lot easier now that Charlie was awake and Joey hadn't been able to resist telling her best friend how close she and Charlie were becoming, although she chose not to think about Charlie possibly going to jail. Aden was happy for her and particularly enthralled by the kisses.

"Is she a good kisser?" he asked.

"What do you think?" Joey smirked back.

It felt naughty but nice to have this kind of gossip. It made her feel like a teenager.

"I think she's probably awesome," Aden said reasonably. "She has beautiful lips."

"She does," Joey agreed. "And, hey! Don't you start getting a crush!"

Aden held his hands up defensively and promised he wouldn't but that he couldn't help it if Charlie was hot. He then added that Joey was pretty damn hot too and they made a perfect fantasy couple. Joey pretended to be horrified but couldn't quite help but take it as a compliment.

* * *

Ruby was allowed to stay with Charlie for a little while as she settled into her new ward. There were five other people in with her, each with a different degree of sickness. But most of them welcomed her and seemed friendly enough. Charlie was sure she had been spoilt by being allowed a side room in intensive care and now she worried about her fellow inmates snoring or keeping her awake.

"Will you be okay?" Ruby asked when it was time to leave.

"I'll be fine," Charlie promised.

"Who's visiting first thing?"

"Angelo," Charlie sighed. "And I've got a few words to say to him."

Ruby kissed her cheek and wished her luck.

* * *

The following morning, Robertson showed up at Charlie's house. He was met by Leah who welcomed him a little awkwardly inside. Ever since Charlie had attempted suicide, Leah hadn't really been interested in talking to him which made him sad. He liked her and he had hoped that they might have developed something special, at least for the short time he would be in town.

"Permission to look at some shoes, please," he said brightly.

Leah looked puzzled.

"Any in particular?" she asked.

"Anything belonging to Charlie or to Joey."

"Is this a foot fetish or something serious?" Joey asked, appearing in the kitchen.

"It's a chance to either condemn or clear someone's name," Robertson explained.

Joey looked a little unsure but eventually relented and led him first into Charlie's room and then the room she was staying in.

* * *

The next day, Angelo left home early in order to stop off at the Diner and then get to the hospital dead on ten o'clock. He was confused when he didn't see Charlie through the window of her room but then the nurse redirected him to the ward. He smiled brightly and sat down.

"I wasn't expecting to see you," Charlie said.

She wasn't looking or feeling particularly cheerful.

"It's my turn, so..." he said.

"I mean after yesterday," Charlie said impatiently.

He bowed his head and apologised.

"Can we just put it behind us?" he asked.

"No."

He stared at her, feeling startled.

"Look, Joey and I were never going to get along that well," Angelo said. "She's your ex, Charlie. And you really hurt me by writing to say goodbye to her and not me. And... and seeing you yesterday..."

"Hurt you enough to tear the letter up?" Charlie accused.

Several other patients tried not show that they were listening with interest.

"Hurt enough to threaten her?" Charlie asked. "Do you have any idea what that girl has been through over this last year?"

"Charlie..."

"How could you do that to her?" Charlie demanded.

"She was trying to steal you away!" Angelo argued.

"She hasn't stolen me!" Charlie snapped. "I love her. I'm with her willingly!"

"Charlie, you're sick... you don't know what you're saying..."

"I know exactly what I'm saying," Charlie snapped. "I don't want to be with you, Angelo. Right now, I don't even want to be your friend. You can't seriously threaten someone I love and then expect me to welcome you back with open arms, can you?"

Angelo stood quickly, feeling defensive.

"If you leave me, you lose everything, Charlie," he warned.

"How do you figure that out?"

"Because I am perfect for you. Nobody will ever love you the way I do. And when you're done with this stupid lesbian crush, you'll be left completely on your own."

"Joey and I are forever," Charlie insisted.

"So forever that the first time around you had sex with Hugo Austin behind her back? So forever that she was so disgusted by you that she sailed out of your life?" he snapped.

"So forever that as soon as she heard I was in trouble, she forgot everything that went on in the past and came back to save me," Charlie said evenly.

Everyone was listening now and nobody was bothering to hide it.

"I can't believe I..."

"You what?" Charlie asked.

"I can't believe I loved you," he said. "You'll never know the things I've done for you, Charlie, the sacrifices I've made. I've been there for you every step of the way. You never deserved any of it."

"Then it's good you don't have to give it anymore."

Along the corridor, Joey arrived a little early for her hour with Charlie. A nurse said the police officer's name and began to head over so Joey followed.

"I wish you'd just died!" Angelo shouted. "Then at least I would never have known what you were like! I'd never know how damn ungrateful you'd be about me getting Grant Bledcoe out of your life!"

Charlie and Angelo both froze.

"What do you mean?" Charlie asked.

The nurse and Joey stared at them, having caught the last sentence.

"What do you mean?" Charlie demanded.

"Nothing," Angelo said.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and stormed past Joey and out of the hospital, leaving Charlie to apologise for the disruption to the ward.


	39. Chapter 39

_Hope you enjoy the chapter! The nurse is named after one of the nurse's when I was in hospital. He was awesome! Love, IJKS xxx_

**Chapter Thirty-Nine**

Joey hurried to Charlie's side. Both their minds were reeling.

"What do you think he meant?" Charlie asked, reaching for Joey's hand.

"I think it's pretty obvious," Joey said, pulling out her phone. "If he killed Grant then we need to tell the police right now."

Charlie nodded, feeling overwhelmed and tearful. She watched Joey dial. The nurse approached and asked if there was anything she could do. Charlie shook her head and thanked her. The other patients forced themselves to return to their own lives and not eavesdrop as Joey spoke to Watson on the phone. Charlie hung on every word and then when Joey had hung up, she asked her to relay everything, especially wanting to know why Joey was smiling.

"You're off the hook," Joey said.

"What?"

"Watson found some shoe prints on the beach that weren't yours, Grant's or Alf's," Joey explained. "They must have belonged to the killer and right now, my guess would be Angelo."

Charlie was relieved and devastated all at the same time. She leant her head back against the pillows and closed her eyes.

"How could he have killed him?" she wondered.

Joey didn't like to point out that Angelo had killed before. She didn't need to. Everyone already knew it.

"I know he killed Jack," Charlie said. "But that was an accident. There's no way Grant's death could be anything but murder. I mean, I'm glad he's dead but... I didn't want Angelo to be the killer. I didn't want it to be anyone I'm close to."

Joey sighed and pulled her chair a little closer.

"Charlie, it was always going to be someone who loved you," she said gently. "He must have done it to try and protect you."

"I know," Charlie sighed.

She opened her eyes and looked back at Joey.

"But if he was that desperate to protect me that he'd kill for me... how could he let me take the rap for it?" she wondered. "I asked him if he did it. Morag accused him. Robertson was after him as much as he was after me at first. And then he suspended me and stated that I was his number one suspect and Angelo never said anything. How could he do that?"

"I don't know," Joey said. "But once they track him down, this whole thing will be over."

* * *

Angelo raced back to his apartment, cursing himself for being so foolish as to even suggest that he might have done something to Grant. He was in no doubt that the police were already on their way. Shaking with terror, he threw things haphazardly into bags. He tossed clothes and deodorant, his toothpaste and brush, a photo of him and Charlie and clean underwear inside. He grabbed his passport from a drawer and yanked his mobile phone charger from the wall, not that he would be able to keep his phone for long without getting caught. Without pausing to look back, Angelo raced out of his apartment, not even bothering to close the door. He jumped into his car and sped away.

* * *

Watson headed over to the hospital in order to take a statement from Charlie and Joey. She was thrilled to have made progress on the case, although she was sad that it looked like Angelo had been the person they should have been accusing all along. Over the last few weeks, especially since Charlie had been in hospital, Watson felt like she and Angelo had bonded. And all the time, he had killed a man and let his girlfriend take the blame. Pulling up outside the hospital, she headed inside and up to the ward that Joey had said they were on. She approached reception and asked one of the nurses if it would be possible to have a private room in order to discuss things with the patient and her visitor.

"Just let me sort something out for you," the nurse, Gerald, said.

Watson nodded and thanked him, making her way over to Charlie and Joey, relieved to see that even from a distance, Charlie looked far better than she had all this time.

* * *

Angelo drove with tears in his eyes and had no real idea as to where he was going except that it was away from Summer Bay and the precious life he had rebuilt there. Already he missed Charlie. Consoling himself that she would have dumped him anyway and appeared to have fallen back in love with Joey within seconds, if she'd ever fallen out of love with her at all, but that knowledge only made him more fraught. He rubbed his eyes and kept driving. There was no way he was going back to prison. Those few months inside, before he had managed to negotiate his way out and back onto the force, back into the Bay, had been hell. He wouldn't survive if he had to do it again. He was willing to keep on running for the rest of his life if it was necessary.

* * *

In a side room and sitting a little uncomfortably in a chair, Charlie studied Watson's face. It felt strange to be interviewed by her junior but she was glad it was her friend who had shown up and not Robertson. Even on her side, she doubted he was a nice guy.

"Thank you, by the way," Charlie said before they started.

Watson looked surprised.

"You're the person who realised about the shoe print, right?" Charlie said. "Robertson said you'd been working really hard to clear my name."

"Well, I couldn't let an innocent and wonderful woman go to prison, could I?" Watson said.

They smiled at each other and Watson set the Dictaphone onto record.

"Shall we get started?" she asked.

Charlie nodded, took a deep breath and began to explain Angelo's accidental, potential confession.

* * *

Robertson and a colleague pulled up outside Angelo's apartment block.

"No car," the younger man commented to the Detective.

Robertson wasn't surprised. Angelo wasn't stupid. He'd have known that what he'd said to Charlie and Joey would immediately have been incriminating. And Robertson suspected that he would be getting as far away from Summer Bay as he could. The two men headed out of the car and up a flight of stairs. They exchanged glances when they saw the door open. Stepping inside and ready to draw their weapons if necessary, Robertson called Angelo's name. There was no reply.

* * *

Charlie was returned to her bed, feeling a little worn out while Joey reluctantly left her to give her own statement to Watson.

"Charlie mentioned that Angelo threatened you," the officer said.

Joey's eyed widened with surprise.

"How did she know about that?" she asked anxiously.

She hadn't wanted Charlie to ever be told. She'd wanted to protect her.

"I don't know," Watson said. "She just told me that he had. Can you tell me what happened?"

Joey took a deep breath and explained everything from the beginning.

* * *

Angelo frowned when he saw that he was running out of petrol. Having no cash on him, he had no choice but to pull into a petrol station and pay by credit card. It would eventually give the police a lead as to where he had gone but he hoped they would be late chasing after him. That way, he could get a good head start and evade them.

* * *

Once Watson had left, Joey sought permission from Gerald to stay on even though visiting hours were temporarily closed. He agreed, realising how difficult the situation was and Joey returned to Charlie's bed and held her hand.

"How did you know what had happened?" she asked.

"Ruby told me."

Joey sighed and Charlie quickly begged her not to be angry.

"She didn't want to," she said. "I made her. I figured out something had happened and forced it out of her."

Joey nodded and apologised.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" Charlie wondered.

Joey reached out and stroked her face. Charlie turned her head and kissed her fingertips.

"I didn't mean to cause you so much stress, Charlie," Joey said.

Charlie held her hand.

"You haven't," she said. "I'm so angry with Angelo for what he did to you. I can't believe he nearly forced you out of here. I can't believe I nearly lost you again. Joey, I've done everything all wrong since I first met you. I've hurt you so much. I made too many mistakes. I wish I could just go back and change things."

"Charlie," Joey said. "We can't go back. But we can go forward, okay? We can make things right."

She leant forward and kissed her.


	40. Chapter 40

As we gear up for the end (two chapters left after this one), Charlie's coming home and so is Ruby. So, where's Joey going to end up? Enjoy! Love, IJKS xx

**Chapter Forty**

On Friday afternoon, Peter came around to see Charlie again. As requested, Joey had arrived to share the appointment with her and confirm that she was more than happy to act as Charlie's carer until she was deemed psychologically strong enough. The two girls had agreed to take things slowly. The situation still felt so fragile that neither wanted to rush into anything, although with the depth of their feelings for each other, it was hard not to. Ruby had also told Charlie that she was going to move back in as soon as she was released from hospital and Charlie was beyond delighted. She answered Peter's questions and revealed that she was feeling a little less unhappy than last time he'd seen her. With Angelo looking guilty as sin, it looked like Charlie was no longer a suspect in the murder case. And things seemed to be going well, albeit tentatively with Joey and now Ruby was coming home. For the first time since well before she'd fallen into her coma, she had some kind of hope for the future.

* * *

After school, Ruby headed over to the hospital as usual in order to see Charlie. Tonight was her last night living with Geoff and while she would miss seeing him so much and would miss the perks of a live-in boyfriend, she knew her home was with Charlie. And she also knew that her mother needed her now more than ever. She wanted to be there for her, to help take care of her and get her back into a place where she felt like life was worth living. She hadn't realised quite how much she loved her until she had almost lost her forever.

* * *

Angelo was holed up in a dingy hotel that had accepted cash on arrival. He had cleared out his bank account and settled at least temporarily in a small town five hours away from Summer Bay. He'd turn his mobile phone off, although he had kept hold of it and was struggling to resist listening to any messages he might have. Despite everything that had happened, Angelo was still desperate to hear from Charlie.

* * *

"So, you're caring for Charlie twenty-four-seven, hey?" Aden teased.

He had met up with Joey for a drink at the Surf Club. She sipped her wine and nodded, unable to hide the fact that she was elated to be the person Charlie trusted to take care of her.

"But if Ruby's coming home, where are you going to sleep?" Aden asked curiously with a hint of teasing.

Joey blushed. She hadn't quite figured that out yet and told him so.

"Maybe the couch," she suggested.

"And maybe Charlie's bed," Aden said with raised eyebrows.

She blushed again. It would certainly be nice to sleep with Charlie again, even if nothing intimate happened.

"We're taking it slowly," she said.

"Have you been getting up to any kissage?" Aden asked, keen for details.

She nodded with a shy smile.

"A few," she said.

She couldn't help but grin and he was grinning back.

"You're so not going to take it slowly!" Aden declared.

* * *

Charlie was grateful to have been brought her laptop from home and figured at least while she was stuck in hospital, she could check her emails and watch the odd You Tube video. She felt like she had missed out on so much. She supposed she had, really. But the psychiatrist had said she was alright to come home and so had her consultant who had given her the all clear, although the likelihood was that she would be on heart tablets for the rest of her life. Still, she supposed that wasn't the worst thing in the world. Assuming nothing untoward happened that evening, Charlie would be discharged at eleven the next morning. Her father and Morag were coming to collect her and she could hardly wait.

* * *

Ruby and Geoff walked back home from the Diner hand in hand. Geoff had taken her out to dinner and they were planning on consummating their relationship this evening, providing they didn't get caught by Irene or Annie who were likely to disapprove. But they wanted to be together and they wanted it to be special. Then in the morning, Geoff would help Ruby pack and move back to Charlie's.

* * *

The following morning, Ross and Morag arrived at the hospital at eleven. The nurse checked Charlie over one more time, dispensed her medication and then she was told she could leave. She was happy to walk out of the ward with her father and step-mother and said goodbye to her fellow patients who were sad to see such an exciting part of their day leave. What with everything that had happened the other day with Angelo, the ward had been a little soap opera or crime drama for a while. She let Ross and Morag lead her out into the car park and she took her first lungful of fresh air in quite some time.

"Ready?" Ross said, holding his daughter's hand.

"Yep," Charlie said, accepting him and heading to the car together.

* * *

Joey had packed all her things up so that Ruby could take her room back, although she wasn't now sure where to put them. Aden had said that she could move in with him if she wanted to but she wanted to discuss it with Charlie first. If she was meant to be acting as Charlie's carer, she didn't really want to be too far away. She had decided to suggest she slept on the couch and let Charlie agree or disagree as she felt appropriate.

"We're back!" Ross called out.

Joey leapt off the sofa to receive them. She beamed at Charlie and hurried to take her bag from Morag.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Pretty good," Charlie said, although she sounded nervous to be back in the real world again.

The last time she had been in this house hadn't exactly been the best time of her life.

"Come and sit down," Joey said.

Charlie nodded and followed her into the lounge. Ross and Morag joined them.

"Would you like a drink?" Joey offered everyone.

They all made their orders and Joey scampered off.

"Are you feeling okay?" Ross asked his daughter worriedly.

"Yeah, I just ache. You know, from the tubes and needles and everything."

Ross nodded and touched her hand gently. Joey reappeared with coffees all round.

* * *

"I assume we can conclude that he's guilty from this," Watson said to Robertson, clearly referring to Angelo.

"Well, people don't tend to hint at a confession and then go on the run if they've got nothing to hide," Robertson agreed.

Watson had started to take things a little easier since she had managed to clear Charlie of guilt but she was still intent on bringing Angelo to justice. If she was being honest, she didn't really care all that much about the fact that he had killed Grant. As far as Watson was concerned, a dead rapist was the best kind of rapist there was. But she was angry that Angelo had played the grieving boyfriend and convinced her to take pity on him when all along, he had been willing to let Charlie take the blame for a crime he had committed. What kind of person did that? And it automatically brought back all her old feelings from when they'd all found out that Angelo had killed Jack. She definitely wanted to bring him down.

* * *

Ruby invited Geoff in when they arrived back at her home. He accepted and felt a little shy when he saw Ross, Morag, Charlie and Joey all present and correct. It very much felt like 'meet the family', even though he at least vaguely knew them all already. Ruby immediately hugged Charlie and they happily welcomed each other home.

"We were just heading off," Ross said, getting to his feet.

"Oh," Ruby said, disappointed.

"I have an appointment with the Doctor," Ross explained.

"Are you okay?" Charlie worried.

"I'm fine. It's just a check up," Ross assured her.

He hugged all three girls goodbye and headed out with Morag.

"Shall I make drinks?" Ruby offered.

"I'll help," said Geoff.

They headed into the kitchen, leaving Charlie and Joey alone.

"So," Joey ventured. "I figured I'd sleep on the couch. If you need me around a lot, I guess that would be the best option now Ruby's taking her room back."

Charlie nodded and chewed her lip.

"It won't be very comfortable," she said.

"I've slept in far worse places, I can assure you!"

They chuckled and Charlie reached for Joey's hand across the couch.

"You and I could share," she said, feeling shy. "I mean, I know we're taking it slow. I'm not asking for... you know, but I'm sure we could cope lying side by side."

Joey smiled and felt her heart racing a little.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "I don't want to overstep the barriers."

Charlie stroked Joey's face and leant in for a kiss.

"You're not," she promised. "Plus then it really will mean I'm getting twenty-four hour care!"

Joey giggled and kissed her again. They parted when they heard a wolf whistle. Ruby stood grinning in the doorway before bringing in their drinks.

"Oh, young love!" the teenager swooned.

"Cut it out!" Charlie protested with a laugh, although she kept hold of Joey's hand.

* * *

Watson approached Robertson in his office.

"It looks like Angelo cleared out his bank account yesterday," she said. "Here's the branch he went to."

Robertson nodded and suggested they phone around every nearby hotel, motel or bed and breakfast to see if they had anyone staying with them who had paid cash.

"I'm on it," Watson said, heading back to her desk.

* * *

Charlie felt strangely exhausted by nine o'clock and opted to go to bed. At the door to her room, she froze. Joey listened out for her but when she didn't hear a door open, she got up and went to see if she was okay.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Joey asked gently.

She stood behind her and touched her hips. Charlie nodded but she was lying. She didn't feel okay at all. Joey leant forward and opened the door.

"I cleaned it all for you," Joey said. "And I changed the sheets and everything."

"Thank you," Charlie said weakly.

She looked around the room and shuddered as she remembered the last thing she had done in it. Taking a deep breath and retaining contact with Joey, Charlie moved into the room and sat on the bed. She looked up and smiled anxiously at Joey.

"I'll go get your bag," Joey said.

She hurried away and was back within moments with her own stuff and Charlie's. Entering the room, she set the bags down and closed the door behind her.

"I'll come to bed now too," she said brightly. "So you don't have to do anything alone."

Charlie stood and hugged her tightly. She marvelled at the way Joey always seemed to know exactly what she needed. They rummaged around for pyjamas and turned politely away from each other as they got changed. In a pair, they went to the bathroom to brush their teeth and then slipped into different sides of the bed, each with their teddy bears. It felt strangely familiar, although they hadn't shared a bed for quite some time now. Without talking about it, they met in the middle and held each other. Charlie rested against Joey and wept from relief and fear. Joey held her and kissed the top of her head.

"Everything's going to be alright," she said gently. "I promise."


	41. Chapter 41

_I thought this was the penultimate chapter but it's not. There are two chapters left after this. This chapter is for funkyshaz. Just because you rock! I hope you all enjoy the chapter. Quite a lot happens before we start winding down. This story will be replaced by a fic called "Save Me" which is Charlie/Joey/Ruby based. So, to the person who has been asking about a Charlie and Ruby fic... sorry, I forget your name... it'll be here soon. For now, I hope you all enjoy the chapter. And I thank you, as ever, from the bottom of my heart, for your commitment to the stories and your wonderful reviews and messages. Every single one of you is amazing. Lots of love, IJKS xx_

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* * *

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Chapter Forty-One

Charlie woke up the next morning feeling happier and safer than she had in a very long time. She smiled as she felt Joey's warm body pressed against her. Studying her face, she admired Joey's beauty and watched her eyes flutter open.

"Morning," Joey said sweetly.

Charlie smiled at her.

"Morning," she replied.

Without needing to think about it, they kissed softly and held each other until the call of the morning forced them out of bed.

* * *

Watson and Robertson pulled into the car park of the motel. It had been a long job going through every motel in the area and several of them had refused to give any client details over the phone without ID. So they had spent much of the night driving round and visiting the places in person. Now, at eight in the morning, they were at their last place. Walking through the doors, they approached the reception desk. The receptionist was just about to give them her attention when Watson pointed to the stairs. Robertson looked up. Angelo froze momentarily and then broke into a run.

* * *

"How was your first night back home?" Leah asked when she, VJ, Ruby, Charlie and Joey sat down to breakfast together.

"It was awesome," Ruby confirmed.

Charlie sipped her juice and nodded. It had definitely been hard at first, although spending the night with Joey had been fairly amazing. However, she didn't think it appropriate to go into that at the breakfast table.

"So, what are your plans for today?" Leah asked brightly.

"I'm hanging out here this morning and then I said I'd go round and see Geoff in the afternoon."

She couldn't help but smile at the mention of her boyfriend's name. Joey grinned.

"Is that okay?" Ruby checked with Charlie.

"It's fine," Charlie assured her. "I have the nurse coming round in the afternoon anyway."

"Are you still poorly, Charlie?" VJ asked.

"A little bit," Charlie told him. "But I'm getting better."

"Good. Because I missed you."

She smiled at him and thanked him for being so sweet.

"And I'm super glad that Joey's back too," he added. "Can we play cards sometime soon?"

"Of course we can," Joey said.

She felt a little guilty for not having had the time earlier. She'd been so caught up with visiting Charlie and fighting with Angelo that she'd had little time to do anything else other than sleep and eat.

"Great!"

"Right," Leah said. "We'd better get going."

"What are you up to today?" Joey asked.

"We're off to see Stella," Leah said. "We'll be back this evening."

They said their goodbyes and then Ruby offered to do the dishes, leaving Charlie and Joey to rummage through their DVD collection in order to find a film for the three of them to watch that morning.

* * *

Robertson and Watson charged out through the double doors in a bid to stop Angelo in his tracks. He dropped his bags and flew to his car, breathing heavily and deeply panicked. He'd been banking on it taking a little longer to find him. Struggling with his car keys, he lost precious time. Watson collided with him and pushed him against the car. She roughly pulled his arms behind his back, cuffing him and announcing that he was under arrest on suspicion of the murder of Grant Bledcoe.

* * *

Ruby sat in the armchair while Charlie and Joey cuddled up on the sofa together. They still felt a little shy, especially as Ruby was making unhelpful swooning noises but it felt good to be comfortable and close with each other. Charlie lay against Joey's chest and between her legs. They played gently with each other's fingers as all three giggled over _Miss Congeniality_, an old favourite.

* * *

Angelo sat unhappily in the back of a police car he had actually driven on several occasions. He felt sick as he watched the world drift by. Watson was driving and Robertson was in the passenger seat. As usual, all Angelo could think about was Charlie.

* * *

The film ended and Ruby turned the DVD off while Charlie, who had fallen asleep, rested against Joey's chest. Joey and Ruby exchanged sweet smiles as Joey gently stroked Charlie's hair and listened to her breathe.

"I'm going to head out and see Geoff," Ruby whispered.

"Okay," Joey replied. "See you later."

Ruby waved and left the house. Joey looked down at Charlie and softly kissed the top of her head.

"I love you so much," she whispered.

They both jumped when the phone rang.

"What's going on?" Charlie said, sounding rather frightened.

"It's okay," Joey said gently. "It's just the phone."

They disentangled themselves. Joey answered the phone while Charlie sat up and rubbed her eyes feeling a little vulnerable.

"Hello?" Joey said. "Hi, Watson."

Charlie was immediately alert.

"Right. Okay. Yes, I'll tell her. Thank you. Bye."

She hung up and met Charlie's gaze.

"What is it?"

"They've caught Angelo," she told her. "He's being interviewed now."

* * *

Angelo sat in the interview room with his hands clasped together as Robertson forced him to run over the details of what happened on that fateful night. He had remained silent throughout except to ask for his lawyer. Silence was buying him time.

"Look, we have your footprints," Robertson said tiredly. "We've matched it to your shoes. You have a motive and we have several witness statements suggesting that in a fit of anger, you pretty much confessed."

Angelo ran his hands through his hair.

"I want to talk to Charlie," he finally said.

"Well, in case you hadn't noticed, she's on long-term sick leave because she was so broken and so sure that she was going down for a murder you committed, that she tried to kill herself," Robertson said coldly.

"Before I say anything, I need to talk to her."

Robertson stood up and left the room. He approached Watson and asked her to see if Charlie could come down to the station.

* * *

The phone rang again just as Joey arrived back on the sofa with some ice cream for her and Charlie to share. Charlie's instinct was to ignore it but her psychiatric nurse was due in half an hour and she didn't want to miss it if he or she was calling to cancel. Joey got up and answered the phone. It was Watson.

"No she can't come down to the station," Joey said.

Charlie's head jerked up in surprise.

"Especially not to see _him_."

Joey was surprised by just how bitter she sounded. She looked at Charlie who asked what was going on. Joey excused herself to Watson and explained to Charlie that Angelo wouldn't talk until he had spoken to Charlie first. Charlie sighed and agreed to see him, just to get it all out of the way and done with.

"She has an appointment in half an hour," Joey said. "But she could come after that."

"If you ring me, I can come and pick you guys up," Watson offered.

"That'd be great, Watson. Thank you," Joey said.

She hung up and went back over to Charlie to make a start on the ice cream and explain the plan to Charlie.

* * *

Ruby lay curled up in Geoff's bed. His arms were around her and she was telling him all about how she felt things were going with Charlie.

"We're making so much progress," Ruby said happily. "It feels normal and natural to be around her again. And it's like... I just don't care about the past. I don't care about the lies or where I come from or don't come from. I just know that I need Charlie in my life. It doesn't matter if it's as a mother or a sister, as long as it's as a friend."

"I'm happy for you, Rubes," Geoff said with a smile.

He leant in to kiss her.

* * *

Robertson burst back into the interview room and instructed Angelo to get up.

"Why?" Angelo asked, surprised.

"Charlie won't be here for another hour or so, so you get to spend some time in a cell," the Detective said. "I guess it's something you're not really used to with your ability to ignore murder charges."

Angelo glared at him and stood up.

"She is coming though?" he asked.

"I don't know why but she is."

Robertson led him to a cell and shut him inside. Angelo sank onto the bench and buried his head in his hands.

* * *

Joey had made herself scarce for Charlie's appointment, wanting to give her some privacy. When she heard the nurse say goodbye, she headed out and came to sit beside her.

"How did it go?" she asked.

"It was okay," Charlie said. "I talked about some stuff and..."

She trailed off and shrugged. What more could she say? Joey hugged her and kissed her cheek.

"Are you ready for me to call Watson?" she asked.

Charlie nodded.

* * *

Angelo was led back into the interview room. Charlie was already seated and he glared at Joey as she hovered behind her.

"I don't want to talk to you," he said.

"I'm not staying," Joey replied, equally as coldly. "I just wanted to make sure my girlfriend was okay."

His eyes burned into her. Charlie swallowed. Joey squeezed her shoulder and kissed her cheek before slipping out of the room, leaving Angelo alone with Charlie. Detective Robertson stood in the corner, keeping a watchful eye on everything that was about to take place. Angelo sat down opposite his ex and gazed into her eyes.

"So, you're officially together now?" he asked.

She nodded.

"And you're happy?"

She nodded again.

"Happier than when you were with me?"

"We didn't exactly have the easiest ride of it, did we?" she pointed out.

He sighed, supposing she was right.

"I loved you," he said. "I still do. I think I always will."

Charlie chewed her lip uncertainly. What was she meant to say to that? She could hardly say that she loved him too. It would be a lie. But to make it so obvious that she didn't love him and never had just seemed unnecessarily hurtful.

"I think I fell in love with you the moment I met you, back when you were with Roman."

"I care for you, Angelo," she said awkwardly.

"But I'll never be her," he concluded.

"No," she said. "You won't. I'm sorry."

He played with his hands.

"Did you kill Grant?" she asked.

He nodded. Robertson cleared his throat and asked him to confirm for the tape.

"Yes," Angelo said, glaring at him.

He returned his gaze to Charlie.

"I killed Grant," he said. "I did it to protect you."

"What happened?" Charlie asked.

She felt so confused. Part of her was furious with him for wrecking his life, for committing murder and for almost letting her take the blame for it, but then part of her understood that he had been trying to help her, do right by her and protect her. And she certainly didn't feel any grief over Grant's death.

"He kept hanging around, causing trouble," Angelo said. "I arranged to meet him. I just wanted to warn him away, threaten him."

"Like you did with Joey?" Charlie snapped.

Regardless of the Grant situation, Charlie was still angry that he had intimidated the woman she loved.

"Things got out of hand," Angelo said, ignoring the comment. "He pulled a knife. I wrestled it off him and... I didn't really think it through. But I stabbed him. He crumbled to the ground and I realised it was the opportunity to get rid of him for good. So I stabbed him again and again. And then I drove him to the beach and dumped his body."

Charlie nodded unhappily.

"But I did it for you, Charlie," he said. "I was trying to help you."

"I get it," Charlie said gently. "But murder is never the right answer. Haven't you learnt that?"

"I guess not," Angelo replied. "I didn't mean to do it, Charlie. It just happened. And I admit it. I was glad."

Charlie nodded.

"I know you probably hate me," he said. "But I guess before I make my statement, before I condemn myself, I wanted to ask your forgiveness."

"I forgive you for killing Grant," Charlie told him.

He looked relieved.

"But you nearly sent me to prison, Angelo. You let me get hounded by the police. That played such a huge part in what I did and I... I'm not sure how to even begin forgiving that."

Tears rolled down his cheeks.

"And you hurt Joey."

"I just scared her," he said defensively. "She was trying to steal you. She did steal you."

"That doesn't give you the right to intimidate her," Charlie said. "I know you didn't know what she's been through but..."

He looked immediately guilty.

"You did know," she concluded. "You knew that she'd been raped and bullied and you still threatened her."

"I wish I could say sorry for it but I... I would have done anything to keep you, no matter who got hurt."

Charlie sighed.

"And I guess that's why we'd never have worked, no matter how hard we tried," she said. "Because I could never be with someone like that. You can be as much of a bulldozer as you want, you can threaten and you can bully and murder but the person my heart belongs to is nothing like that. She wouldn't be capable of any such thing. Joey is gentle and loving and kind."

"I was too..."

"And I know she would never ever hurt me," Charlie said. "Not even by accident."

He nodded and continued to cry.

"I wish you luck, Angelo," Charlie said, getting to her feet. "But I don't ever want to see you again."

He nodded and watched her leave.


	42. Chapter 42

_Hi, everyone. I counted my chapters wrong so this is actually the penultimate one. One more chapter to go and then it's over. What a journey! I hope you like it. Love, IJKS xx_

**Chapter Forty-Two**

"So, what did he have to say for himself?" Joey asked.

Watson had driven them back to the house in silence and Charlie was glad to return to the safety of home. It felt nerve-wracking to be out and about and she hardly knew how she was ever going to show her face in the Diner or the Surf Club again, let alone go back on duty, with everyone knowing what she had done. If she had ever been afraid of what people thought, it was now. Worrying about her feelings for Joey all those months ago felt like child's play. According to her family, everyone had been really worried and really nice but she was almost more afraid of that than of judgement and rejection.

"He just wanted to rake over the past," Charlie said. "Confirm what was happening with us and with him."

She hovered behind her as Joey poured them both a glass of juice each. Joey handed one over and then took Charlie's hand, leading her into the living room. They put their glasses down and sat beside each other.

"What did you say?" Joey asked.

"I said that I loved you," Charlie said. "And that we were together."

She sighed.

"He wanted me to forgive him. I said I forgave him for killing Grant but not for lying about it. And I said I couldn't forgive him for what he did to you."

Joey reached out and held her hand, touched that Charlie cared so much.

"Every time I think about it, I just feel sick. I mean, I know he didn't physically hurt you but he... the way he scared you, the way he tried to destroy you... And he knew what had happened with Robbo."

"You told him?" Joey squeaked.

"No," Charlie said, shaking her head. "He must have looked at your file. I didn't realise he knew until today."

She looked Joey directly in the eye.

"I am so sorry for putting you in that kind of position," she said.

"It's not your fault," Joey said.

"It is. If I hadn't stuffed things up the first time... if I hadn't tried to kill myself... if I hadn't written to you..."

Joey placed her index finger on Charlie's lips to silence her.

"I wish you'd never cheated on me," she said honestly.

Charlie bowed her head in shame but Joey was quick to tilt her face back up. She stroked her cheek and searched her eyes.

"I wish you hadn't tried to kill yourself," Joey continued. "But then I think, if all those things hadn't happened, where would we be now? Would we be happy? Would we be sad? Would we be together or apart?"

"I have no idea," Charlie admitted.

"But right now, we are together," Joey said softly, retaining contact with Charlie's face as she traced her skin softly with her thumb. "And we're getting there with the happiness."

"I feel happy when I'm with you," Charlie said.

Joey smiled. Her thumb moved to Charlie's lips.

"Then I am not going anywhere," she promised.

She moved forward, took her hand away and replaced it with her lips. Their kiss started off so gently they barely made contact but as the moments passed, it deepened. Joey inched a little closer and wrapped her arms around Charlie's shoulders while Charlie's arms wound their way around Joey's waist. They fell back a little against the couch cushions and Joey touched her tongue to Charlie's lips, which parted and welcomed her inside.

"I definitely feel happy right now," Charlie confirmed, almost whispering.

"So do I," Joey agreed.

Charlie traced her fingertips over Joey's face, taking in texture of her skin. She ran her fingers down her jaw and throat, stroking her shoulders and following the path down her back.

"I wasted so much time," she said. "I wasted all that time and then I threw away the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. I was so confused and lost when I fell in love with you but I should have just been grateful. How often does a person fall in love with someone to perfect and be lucky enough to have them fall in love with her too?"

Joey leant back against the cushions and held onto Charlie's hand.

"I'm so flawed," Charlie sighed. "I feel like my life is a series of mistakes. I get everything wrong and I mess everything up..."

"You don't," Joey insisted.

"I do. I got myself into trouble as a kid, I failed Ruby, I never maintained proper relationships, I didn't have the connection with my parents that I wanted to and I... I lost you."

"Well, I don't know about the other things," Joey said. "Except that getting 'into trouble' wasn't your fault. Not even a little bit. But losing me... that's okay now. Because I'm here. I'm with you. And I know we're taking things slowly but I'm not going anywhere. I'm ready to love you exactly how you deserve to be loved. I'm ready to make you happy. We're both going to be so happy from now."

Charlie smiled. They leant in for another kiss. Feeling brave, Charlie stood up. She took Joey's hand and led her into the bedroom. Joey followed in silence, wondering what was to come.

"I don't want to rush you," she said, although if she was being honest, she was desperate to be intimate with Charlie again.

She had missed her so much. She longed for her.

"I haven't worked out where this is leading," Charlie admitted. "I just want to hold you."

They moved onto the bed together, wrapping their arms around each other.

"Kiss you," Charlie said, lowering her lips to Joey's who eagerly responded.

"Touch you," she said dreamily, running her hands gently along Joey's side, making her tingle.

She settled her palm on Joey's bottom, giving her a playful squeeze that made her giggle. They kissed again.

"Claim you as my own," Charlie finished.

They kissed again. Charlie rolled Joey onto her back, covering her with her own body and deepening their contact. With trembling fingers, feeling like this was the first time all over again, she began to undo her buttons, anticipating the delight of what was to come.


	43. Chapter 43

_Oh, wow. This story is finally over. Thank you for taking this particularly difficult journey with me and our beloved characters. I hope you've 'enjoyed' the ride, if that's the right word. I will post the first chapter of my new story imminently._

_In other news...! I was on the telly yesterday! Drowningnotwaving and I went to the first Big Brother eviction and ended up in the background of a link. Seriously, we were about a foot away from Davina McCall's bottom. And what a nice bottom it was! The rest of her was there as well, of course. She's actually more beautiful in real life. I didn't think this was possible. Have just found it on you tube. It was all very exciting!_

_So, for my final A/N for this story, I think you very much for reading this and my other fics. I hope I give you the happy ending our girls deserve after all they have been through. The story started in a very dark place but I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel now as Charlie tries to rebuild her life._

_Much love, IJKS xx_

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Chapter Forty-Three

It had been three months since Charlie had been released from hospital. She had returned to work two weeks ago and was slowly easing her way back into it. Angelo had been charged with Grant's murder and they had reopened the case against him regarding Jack's death. With two killings behind him, he had been refused bail and was now languishing in jail awaiting trial. He'd tried to contact Charlie several times but she didn't read the letters. Apparently, he was looking at twenty years. She and Ruby were getting along well and had easily learnt to live together again. And now that Charlie had been discharged from the mental health team, Joey was planning on moving out and in with Aden. She'd got a job with Aden and Geoff on Irene's trawler and was enjoying being back out on the water again. She and Charlie were officially a couple. They had even faced places such as the Diner and the Surf Club. Charlie had been surprised to find that people were just glad she was alive. They didn't seem to mind one way or the other about whether she was gay, straight or bi. And Ross and Morag had officially moved back to the Bay to be near all their girls.

* * *

Arriving home from work, Charlie was thrilled to find the dining table adorned with place settings, flowers and candles. Soft music played in the background and Joey appeared from the bedroom in a smart pair of trousers and shirt. The women smiled shyly at each other.

"I thought I'd do something special for our last night living together," she explained. "Leah and VJ are at Stella's and Ruby's sleeping over at Geoff's."

Charlie tried not to react. She knew she had to get used to her daughter being sexually active with her boyfriend and she and Joey had agreed not to make a fuss when she wanted to stay round there or have him stay with them. She smiled warmly at her girlfriend and stepped closer to wrap her arms around her. She kissed her tenderly.

"This is lovely," she said. "Thank you."

"Go and get changed out of your uniform while I serve up," Joey instructed, kissing her one more time before dashing off into the kitchen.

Charlie headed into her room and stripped off. She rummaged through her wardrobe for something nice to wear. Finding a little, black dress, she slipped it on and kept her feet bare. They were at home after all. Sighing, she felt a pang of sadness that Joey was leaving. She knew it was reasonable. Both of them were so happy together and they didn't want to destroy what they had by rushing into too much too soon. She brushed her hair and caught sight of the scar on her wrist and sighed again. Looking at both of them, she wondered if they would ever fade. Looking down, she was grateful that at least the scar on her chest was hidden. Joey insisted time and again that it wasn't ugly and it didn't matter but Charlie wasn't sure she believed her. Taking a deep breath, she reappeared in the lounge just as Joey arrived with their salad starters.

"You look stunning," Joey said.

Charlie blushed and sat down when Joey pulled out a chair for her. Joey kissed her softly and sat down beside her. She opened a bottle of wine and poured out two glasses.

"Cheers," she said with a smile.

"Cheers," Charlie replied.

"Tuck in!"

* * *

After the starter and the main course, Charlie and Joey had taken their ice cream dessert to the bedroom. Charlie fell back against the pillows giggling and Joey cleaned the last drop of ice cream off Charlie's chest with her tongue.

"I think you've got it!" Charlie said, stroking Joey's hair.

"No," Joey insisted, continuing to toy with her. "I just need to double check I got it all."

Her touch elicited a deep moan from Charlie. They'd put ice cream in places Charlie had certainly never tried before. And she'd never enjoyed eating the stuff even half as much as she had enjoyed it tonight. Smiling, Joey came to lie in Charlie's arms. She stroked her face and gazed into her eyes, telling her that she loved her.

"So stay with me," Charlie said.

Joey looked bewildered and Charlie looked surprised at her own words.

"What?" Joey asked.

Charlie took a deep breath. Being dishonest about her feelings had caused so much trouble in her life. It had cost her Joey, it had nearly lost her Ruby and it had put her in a three week coma.

"I don't want you to move out," she said honestly.

"What about rushing and everything?" Joey said.

"I know," Charlie sighed. "I know we're trying to do this right and not get dependent on each other or put pressure on each other and everything but there's one problem."

Joey patiently waited for her to explain.

"I already need you so much. I love you, Joey. And I have wasted so much time not having you in my life. I know we want to do things right but... I don't think you moving out is the right thing to do. I think... I think we should stay here, like this, forever."

Joey smiled at her.

"The ice cream will melt," she said.

Charlie laughed and pulled her in for a kiss.

"Please stay with me?" she asked.

"Charlie, I would move Heaven and earth for you," Joey replied. "Choosing to live with you, if that's what you really want... that's pretty much the easiest decision I've ever made."

She leant in and kissed her, the decision to be together forever, firmly decided upon.


End file.
